do you think that older women and men make better parents?

Question

my parents were 32 when my elder brother was born and 34 when i was born and 43 when my younger brother was born. they were fantastic parents, in my opinion.

my husband and i 23 and have triplets and i am pregnant again, due in early march 2008 and in my opinion we are both pretty good parents so far.

can anyone share their experiences? is parenthood easier when you are older or younger, what do you think?

Answer 1

My mum was 30 when she had me and 28 when she had my sister... but throughout teenage years I felt I couldn't talk to her as much because I thought she didn't understand, that's why I'm preggy at 20, because I want them to be able to talk to me about anything. Throughout my teens, most of my friends could talk to their parents about anything and I wish I had that. Not sayin my parents weren't amazing, but it would have helped me if I was able to talk to them.

Answer 2

I had a baby at 18 and I was considered very mature, another at 25 and now I have had one at 45. Although the pregnancy was very very bad and baby premature we bless every day we have her and know how special she is and how lucky we are. We dont worry about fashion, drinking or socialising but giving our child the best stable and loving environment she could wish for. Okay so we will be 65 when she is 20 but anyone can die at anytime, but I guarantee she gets 20 years of love and a life every child should have.
I worked in a baby shop and the teenage mums are more worried about where the *** money is coming from, or a gold chain to show off to their friends - NOT the child freezing without a decent coat in the buggy or shoes that are too small. Looking back and having the experience I do definitely say the older parents are better and give a child a much more stable lifestyle, of courese there are always exceptions so I hope younger parents who read this know I am not criticising them just saying what I have done in life and now know what is best.

Answer 3

I don't think age is what makes a good parent, although life experience does help with some aspects. I think attitude and willingness to alter parenting methods to suit the child's temperament and needs is what makes a good parent. What you lack in experience, you also have in energy which is also a good thing! I've seen absolutely wonderful adults raised by teenaged, single moms and total hellions raised by prime-of-life supposedly attentive parents. On the other hand, there are some really good parents who had children go really wrong and it is not the fault of the parenting.

Parents under 25 have the problem of setting aside their party lifestyle of the young and taking on the role of mature adult. Many choose not to do so for a long time and make mistakes that the child suffers for (drug abuse for instance). Parents over 35 have a tendency to be stuck in their ways, somewhat intolerant of parenting styles that are not theirs and extravagant (which they can afford because they often have well established careers and no shortage of funds).

Answer 4

No I dont think age has anything to do wiht it.. I think it has to do alot with the individuals and their veiws on parenting.. you can be just as good of a parent (Not recommending it but..) at 16 then you can at 36. The only difference is by 36 you have more time to straighten money problems out....but id you have a child at 36 you willl be 56 by the time your child is 20 and if they wait... you wont see many grandkids...So basicly you'll be young enough to be active in your kids activities.....

Also..in some culture and back in other times.... 23 is a little old to be starting a family.. I remember when i was 20 i had a russian girl who was about 9 ask me how old i was...I told her and she said "AND YOUR NOT MARRIED YET?" she was shocked....

Answer 5

I can imagine some aspects of being older/younger is an advantage over the other.

Some older parents may have more patience, money than some younger mothers.

Some older parents may possibly be satisfied they're career has gone as far as they would like in that moment of time and can devote they're full time whereas some younger parents haven't finished they career progress and want to take it back up when their children are at school.

It all depends on individual circumstances.

Answer 6

My husband and I are both 40, I'm pregnant with my 2nd and our 1st is 16 months. I know I am a much better parent than I would have been in my 20's (I think I can speak for my husband too!). I was just not ready to be a Mom back then though, others are when they are younger. It's definately all in the individual.

Answer 7

You don't say how old the triplets are, but at 23 they are still very young. You will have to be young to keep up with four small children!
I had twins at 29 and our boy at 39. I was exhausted with the twins just because there wer two of them,but I felt we were too old with our son. We were mistaken for his grandparents all the time, and we just weren't as strict or involved in his life as we had been with the girls.
They're all grown and doing fine, so we must have done something right.

Answer 8

Its easier when you can afford it and not have the stress of assistance either from the govt or family. Age can mean more job experience and a higher paycheck.

The other thing is, in my 20's I was glad to be out, going out on weekends, travelling etc, got that somehwat out of my system prior to parenting, kind of a see the world type of things, plus know what career I wanted, know where I wanted to live, had my own apt, etc. I think at 23 you could be at that stage too, but not as a teen parent.

Answer 9

My parents were in their 40's as well, and they were great parents. I think the older you are the more time you have to mature, achieve and you are more settled. They had children 10 years after marrying. Depends on the younger ages. I think they have not lived enough, they have not satisfied their craving to shop, party, drink , whatever they need to do. I had my daughter at 28 and I was already happy with what i had done in my younger years that I was ready to give me up and dedicate my time to baby.
I think the more you are away from your teens, the better. But in the end it really depends on the person.

Answer 10

I think you can be a good or bad parent whatever your age (within reason obviously).

One thing with older parents though is, if they're too old there can be like 2 or 3 generation gaps between them and the child which may mean they won't understand their child as well.

Also I had a friend with really old parents who looked as if they were his grandparents. They mollycoddled him so he grew up quite weak in character and had quite old-fashioned ideas.

I'm sure there are some great older parents out there though and as long as there's love, the other problems will sort themselves out.

Answer 11

I think it is better when you are younger because you are more able to play with them. You don't get worn out as easily you can keep up with them more. Although I doubt anyone could keep up with triplets for long! Maybe age gives you more experience but I definitely think you can be a great parent at 23. Congrats on the new one!