will he propose or not?

Question

We've known eachother for 7 years . we've been dating for a year and are both madly in love. & have both expressed a desire to marry eachother. We've also both been engaged before. I want a ring, but he beleives that getting engaged is a curse because of what happened with his ex. instead he wants to just up and marry me. we both want a big wedding, I've tried explaining to him how long it really takes to plan a wedding. I don't measure love by money, but i feel like I deserve a ring considering his ex got one. What should I do?

Answer 1

He's just not that in to you. If her really wanted to get married and spend the rest of his life with you, then it would be worth the risk!
What childish thinking it is to think that it was the engagement that tore them apart!! If he took a closer look, he would realize there were other factors and it was a blessing in because now he's with you.
If you feel your relationship is progressing still, then wait and see what happens- you never know. However, if you feel it's standing still and not going anywhere, you have some tough decisions to make.

Answer 2

Ahhh, the joys of dating huh? You have a good point- I totally understand the wanting of the ring. Its a symbol that he loves you and is going to make a committment to you. Maybe you could ask him for the ring and not get engaged formally? Also, on a side note- I know you have known each other a long time -but maybe he just isn't 100% ready to make the committment- so just try to be patient. My sister was with this guy for over two years and she started bugging him for a ring- and it totally ruined her proposal because he had the ring the whole time but wanted to wait for a special moment- well she finally pushed to much and he did it at home- all boring.

Good luck~!

Answer 3

Is this about a ring, or is it about marrying your man? He can't avoid being engaged, regardless of whether or not he gets you a ring. "Engaged" means "pledged to be married" - so once you two decide to be married, you ARE engaged, with or without the ring. If he's so spooked of engagement rings, just go out and get a ring that's not an engagement ring, but simply a ring you like. Although, I think it's pretty stupid to believe that an object (like a ring) can be "cursed" in some way. It's people, not rings, that make or break a relationship.

If the ring is the only point of contention, and he won't budge - just get yourself a ring that you want. End of story. And stop competing with his ex, this will get you nowhere.

Answer 4

It sounds like he doesn't want to marry you. If he did, he would do the normal thing and propose. Kinda sounds like he's still hung up on the ex. Not the rebound girl are ya?

Just tell him what is acceptable to you and let him know its time to fish or cut bait. You've put a year into this, there's no reason to waste time on someone that doesn't take you seriously enough to find some sort of ring with a shiny thing on it.

Please disregard this note if you're younger than 25 or expect a ring that costs more than a month's salary.

Answer 5

Wow...I feel the same way. (Almost) Situation is a little different, but not by much. I think, (and this is what I did) you should tell him flat out...guys aren't good at reading women I've come to realize. You need to come out and tell him those exact words..."I feel like I'm being ripped off! If you want to marry me you're going to have to give me a proper proposal! I'm sorry your ex girlfriend screwed you over...but I'm not her and I don't deserve to miss out on a proper proposal and a engagement ring because your ex decided to screw you over. That's not fair to me! I love you and if you loved me you wouldn't cheapen it like that." And tell him you want the cute story to tell your girlfriends or your future children. Tell him it's important to you that he makes this more special and that it's a once in a life time thing that you'd like to remember for the rest of your life. Oh and another thing....tell him you want to feel just as important to him as his ex once was when he gave her that engagement ring. Hope this helped...and good luck.

Answer 6

Why can't you be promised to each other without a ring. Maybe he can't afford a ring, and you are making him feel worse by expecting one. You can still plan a wedding. He can call it whatever he wants, and you can call it engaged. Start deciding on the wedding date and planning it.

Answer 7

Of course you deserve a ring. It's ridiculous of him to compare his past relationship to your relationship now. Of course you want a ring, every woman does! I think you just need to sit down with him, tell him how much a ring means to you symbolically and just because he had it rocky with his ex after putting a ring on her finger doesn't mean it's going to happen to you. Best of Luck to you and your Man.

Answer 8

Curses are nonsense...you don't just wake up one day and have a big wedding...just considering the guests...they do have lives and need to plan to attend a wedding, not to mention getting a venue, both officiant and caterer...his reasoning seems immature, IMO. I am sorry.

Answer 9

What does deserve have to do with it? This should be about two people who love each other and want to get married, not about wanting some overpriced rock.

Besides, if you don't spend the $2k on a big fat ring, imagine the awesome honeymoon you'll be able to afford.

Answer 10

Too much emphasis is put on "tradition". We definately live in non-traditional times and your wedding should be celebrated as such. Also, don't compare yourself to his ex. She's an ex for a reason.