why do men in the military even date women so they can just leave them?

Question

a man in the military says he cares about me but i really dont know if it was me or if he was just killing time cause he left just like i knew he would so do men in the military tell woman that just to hurt them before they leave or do they really mean it and its just as hard for them to leave as they say it is

he gave me all of his contacts to keep in touch w/him thats why i dont know if he really cares

i am asking why did he let himself care if he really does he said he didnt try usually when guys just sleep w/u they dont cry when they leave so why do they even get envolved

he did cry when he left me thats what makes it worse iam trying to understand here thats why i asked this

Answer 1

Ok, I assume you knew he was a soldier. Soldiers get orders and have no choice about leaving. Soldiers are human, they want realationships just like everybody else. He gave you his contact information to keep in touch, what exactly do you what from him. He can't just quit his job and come back to you right now. Are you mad he didn't cry when he left? He's a soldier trust me they cry but why would you want him too. If you can't handle being seperated, please just stay away from soldiers, more than like you will break his heart.

Answer 2

I've never dated a man in the military, but my guess is that they don't really mean to hurt you. I think people in general want to be loved, but especially those going into situations where they could lose life or limbs. I think they, as everyone else, want to know that there will be someone there when they come home. They want someone that will cherish them even after seeing and doing some horrific things, or someone that will still cherish the memory of them if they happen to die.
The other thing you should think about, maybe, is he really genuine?There are scummy guys all over the place - even in the military. So, is the one you speak of really a good man. Were there signs, when you were together, that he almost always had your happiness and the relationship in mind? If you can honestly answer yes, then you really didn't need to ask the question.

Answer 3

Well if you look at things that way, obviously you don't have enough sense, and therefore shouldn't be dating ANYONE. Sometimes sacrifices just have to be made, and this includes that soldiers have to go to war sometimes. If the relationship is deep enough, this shouldn't effect you in such a way that you question it and can't eventually accept it. Your generalization is immature and something that would come from the mind of some idiot high school kid that "dates" for two weeks then breaks up. Grow up, and of course it's just as hard for the soldier to leave, because of the guilt they probably feel and that you don't help by acting the way you are.

Answer 4

Wow, that was one REALLY long run-on sentence. However, in answer to your question- they are just regular men. Maybe with a higher sense of honor, but men just the same. If you found a man that said he cared about you, but had to leave, then he may have been telling you the truth that it was hard to leave. Or, perhaps, you may have been gullible to a man who was just playing you. I am sorry, I know it is a hard lesson to learn. Dont' judge them all based on that experience, there are ALOT of really great military men.

Answer 5

Orders are orders, and they have to follow them. This guy may really care about you. If he does, I am sure he will stay in touch with you. But he probably had no choice but to leave. My husband is in the military, we met on the East Coast, dated, then he left to CA. I eventually followed him and we are now married. So you see, it is the life of a military member. They are told what to do and when to do it. And of course, some use it to play games...

Answer 6

What exactly did you expect him to do ?

You knew he was in the Military.

Do you expect him to go awol to stay with you after he gets oders to somewhere else ?

If you know military men are going to get orders to leave, then why dtate them ?

Your question makes no sense at all.

The Air Force used to run into this in England all the time, local girls would date and marry US Airmen.

Knowing that they wouldn't be staying in England more than a couple of years.

Then when the Airmen would get orders, the English girl would refuse to leave and go with her husband.

Answer 7

Wow, some of these answers amaze me. I have been in the military for 14 years. Men are men in or out of the military. but i can tell "bloodfreedom" I have had one kid and that was with my wife. Don't let him going off to serve our country end it. He would not have given you multiple ways to get in touch with him if was playing you. good luck hope it all works out.

Answer 8

Some women would go as far as to say thats typical of most men, not just the military types (cant speak from experience I never dated any guys period) :-P

Answer 9

men are gonna date whomever they want...especially a real man in the military....

but it's not that they mean to hurt you or anyone else...if you've lived a military life...it's about love 'em and leave 'em and that goes for their wives and kids...

when that call comes and they have to go whether it's deployments, tdy, school, training, Iraq/Afghanistan or whatever...they are prepared to leave at a moment's notice....even for us wives...we have to deal with being the single parent most of our years in the military and I can't wait until we retire... it's a wonderful life to be in the military...dependant or a sponsor, but you have to put yourself in their shoes and know that maybe it's harder for them to love somebody and then leave, and don't know whether that person will be waiting for them or not.....and what's a soldier to do when they come back and that person wasn't being faithful to them...believe wives have done it , girlfriends, husbands and all...it's a hard life, but it's rewarding and very patriotic as well....

Answer 10

Men in the military are no different than any other men. Some of them lie and cheat, and some of them are really good guys, and most are somewhere in the middle...