This is kind of a long story but I will try to sum it up in a nutshell: I invited select people on my step-dad's side of the family. The reason I had to be select is because most of his family is very rude, and downright mean at times, which is completely opposite of my mom's side of the family. Anyway, I invited my step aunt and her children, but I did not invite her on again off again husband for many reasons. He is the definition of a scumbag. He says rude & crude things and has NO manners what so ever. The last time I saw him, he told me to ask my mom if he could "suck her pu**y." He was always crude to my mom and makes me feel very uncomfortable. Howver, I just heard that he might be coming to the wedding. I haven't received the RSVP yet, but when I do, what should I do if she RSVP's that he is coming? I know my fiance won't allow it either because he knows even more than I can type. Please help!
2007-08-10 07:38:00 · 4 answers · asked by Mrs. Brooks 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If possible, I think you should have your Step-dad say something to his sister?, explaining your feelings. Make sure she understands that she and the children are more than welcome, but if she brings him along, they will be asked to leave.
If your Step-dad isn't able to make the conversation you do it, asap. Don't even wait for the rsvp card. Just call her up and say, I don't know if they invitation makes this clear, but you and the children are invited, but your husband is not. He and my mother haven't gotten along in the past (put it diplomatically) and I don't think it is a good idea to get the two of them in the same room.
Be firm, but don't say anything nasty. If she gets angry, let her, but don't let yourself get swept up in her emotions. Remember, this is YOUR wedding. You have the right to have guests there you enjoy, and not have to cater to people who you don't.
2007-08-11 16:38:50 · answer #1 · answered by missbeans 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless his name is on the invite, he is not invited. Lot's of things you can do about it. You could in advance of the wedding find a way to say to him, or your aunt that he is not welcome. You can do this, or have someone else. You risk hurting the aunt's feelings, and possibly risk having her not attend.
You could wait, and have a bouncer, hired or a good huge friend, at the door of the reception, and ask him to leave. Not a thing you can do about the wedding itself, anyone may attend that. And again, you risk upsetting the aunt.
Or, let him come, and if he gets out of line, deal with it.
This next idea is being said in jest: punch him out yourself if he says anything crude. Make sure you have it on tape.Visualize this: There you are in your veil and gown, with your fist in his face. I wonder how much one of those wedding shows, or America's funniest video would pay for such a video tape? Might be enough to pay for at least some of the wedding! LOL, good thing we humans do not act upon every thought we have!
Seriously, it may be time for that talk with the aunt, tell her exactly why the "uncle" is not welcome, and tell the truth. You will not be talked to like that on your day, and you will not have your Mom disrespected. Sounds like your boyfriend/fiancee might back you. Utilize that.
Good luck, and best wishes on your marriage!
2007-08-10 13:47:10 · answer #2 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately if one person in a couple are offensive and rude
and the other person isnt but they are with or married to them, you have to consider how you feel and consider other guests if they know this person is coming they might not want to attend either. Since you can't invite one without the other it would be reasonable to to not invite either but since an invitation has been sent out it makes it difficult, the only thing you can say is I'm sorry it was sent out in error , we can't have you at the wedding because of past rude behaviour.
2007-08-12 23:10:25 · answer #3 · answered by kymm r 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call him up and deal with it now. tell him you do not want him there for reasons you just listed. don't wait until he shows up and start acting an @SS on the most important and happiest day of your life. if he insists on showing up, then you tell a few of your family members that he is not invited and to please show him the door if he arrives. congrats and good luck.
2007-08-10 13:20:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋