i have a girlfriend already , and i am crazy in love with her. but theres this other girl she was just a friend but its turned into alot more, the other girl knows about my girlfriend and i have not cheated. but i find my self falling for my friend and i know she feels the same. i am driving myself crazy tryin to figure out what to do and i feel so messed up for having these feelings. is it love or just lust ? is it possible to love to people at the same time?
2007-08-10 07:01:35 · 86 answers · asked by Athena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're being unfair to your current gf even if you're not cheating. You know the full situation. Your friend turned love interest knows the full situation. But your gf doesn't.
2007-08-10 07:06:09 · answer #1 · answered by elurle 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In any type of relationship, regardless of gender preference, you must be true to yourself and to the people that you are having relationships with. In any relationship, if you base it on the premise that it was OK for you to start the relationship behind the back of another (Yes, you have said that you haven't "cheated"...physically....emotionally you have.), then you condone the POSSIBILITY that one of you MAY do the exact same thing to the other, later down the road; usually, regardless of whether this would happen or not, relationships started in this manner don't generally last; relationships started in this manner are not founded on a healthy premise. A healthy relationship is what you want, isn't it? If you are unhappy with the one that you are with...you should understand the reason why. If you are looking for something else that you arent getting from your current relationship, does this other offer it? Love takes time to develop. You could be in "puppy love." It is possible to love many different people at the same time...but we all love others differently. Normally and generally we have come to a societal norm of loving one person at a time, because it is only fair, it is a general 'unsaid' contract between people, and there are many other issues and concerns that multiple partners can bring up. Gender preference doesnt matter in this case, except for the fact that women tend to be more committed to the other partner--statistically speaking. Good luck in coming to your decisions.
2007-08-10 07:15:20 · answer #2 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to think you are...but it's not that simple. Most likely you don't love either of them and you will all get hurt in the long run. You are not that happy with your current person so you're looking at the grass on the other side of the fence. End both relationships and you'll be better off.
Also get some counseling--I mean this in a nice way, no critical. You aren't "crazy" but you definately aren't a happy or secure person and having these issues resolved for yourself is FAR more important than reaching for or stressing over any kind of relationship with another person.
Take care.
2007-08-10 07:24:17 · answer #3 · answered by chaimail04 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is a very strong word...if u love ur girlfriend then ur lusting over the other. I feel if u were totally in love u wouldn't be looking anywhere else. This other girl may have some qualities that ur current girlfriend doesn't have and its turning u on. Weigh ur options, and don't be stupid. If ur truly in love w/ ur girl don't do anything stupid to mess it up, you may regret it later. On the other hand if u really feel like ur starting to have major feelings for this other girl then cut all ties off w/ ur girl and pursue what ever makes u happy (at least u didn't cheat). Good Luck
2007-08-10 07:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by Sunnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
regarding gfs. I dont think its possible to love two people at the same time. You can love an infinate number of people but at their own time.
If you really think you do then IM SURE theres one That You love The MOST.
Tell someone that you trust and knows them both and likes then equally ask for an honest opinion.
I would recomend that you take time off with both of them. Let your gf know you are confussed. Let the other girl you are confussed about how you feel about her. then back away for aminute. When you back away from a problem You See the whole picture. then you will get your answer.
2007-08-10 07:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is def possible to be in love with 2 people at the same time. But if you really love them both then you will have to choose between them. The longer you keep this going the more one of them (and you) is going to get hurt. Sit and think about where you want to be 5, 10, 15 years from now and figure out which one you picture yourself with. Which one builds you up, shares the same goals and aspirations. Whick one makes you a better person? Thats the one you need to be with.
2007-08-10 07:46:36 · answer #6 · answered by Denise Perez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand the mixed emotion
1.) For all you immature individuals who are concerned about her sexual preference go check your own because in today society it is down right ignorant to judge people by what who they choose to be with
2.) I do agree with some of the previous comments it may be lust with the friend because it does seem as though you care for your girl and lust is very tempting just don't do anything you will regret maybe you should clear the air with the friend and get an understanding of how she feels in a public place so a conversion doesn't turn into some passion and what you decide to do from there is your choice just remember be careful what you get yourself into because us being females it can turn into an emotional roller coaster
2007-08-10 07:47:20 · answer #7 · answered by craving cash 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes you can be in love with two people. I was and still am. But when it came down to it I imagined who it was I wanted by my side when things got rough or we got old. Then I knew who to marry. I am still in love with guy number two, but we keep it to ourselves and remain only friends because I love my husband more. And he respects that because he loves me and wants me to be happy, just as I want him happy. It doesn't mean I don't love anyone else. It just means I don't act on it. Because my husband will always be the more important of the two.
But you can answer the lust question by thinking if she were to go totally apeshi t on you for something, would you throw her out or keep her? If you would throw her out, it's lust. Because if you love someone you keep them and figure out what went wrong and forgive each other. Not to mention, would you keep her around if you couldn't ever have sex?
It's tough sometimes, and can suck to take the high road, but stick to it and do the right thing no matter which way you decide to go. But only one girl at a time or you are disrespecting both of them.
2007-08-10 07:43:45 · answer #8 · answered by The Cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very possible to love two people. I love everyone that I meet. Well that just seems like the case. However, measure out the pros and cons between the two and choose the best one. If I was to do that, I would end being more in love with the person that is completely wrong for me...seems that way anyways!
2007-08-10 07:41:42 · answer #9 · answered by Bird Questions 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
List the goos qualities and bad about each "love". And yeah it is totally possible to have two loves at once! Go with what feels right to you. You can make the choice between the girl that fits better with you and the girl that you like better. Bu tdating is supposed to be an adventure right?!? And besides if you choose the girl you like better you will be happy every time you talk to them because you like them for who they are not how you get along with them. And so what if there are a few speed bumps in the way, arguing is a way of resolving conflict. So choose what you feel is right. And remember dating is about finding the right person for YOU, dont make your decision because you feel bad for them. An this is not a selfish thing, make it all about what you want because if you just pick them bc u feel bad, the more time you spend with them the more they will like you and the more they like you the harder it is to break up with them without feeling even worse! So my advice, just pick what you want and make your decision clear to both girls. I hope this helps alot :) GL
2007-08-10 07:20:45 · answer #10 · answered by Smart_Hotti004066 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can love two people at the same time but it sound like you not really sure of the feeling you have for both of the girls.If you never been involved with her and spent time with the other one how can you can that you really love her.And in order for you to want to get something going with the other girl you must not be wondering the other will take it knowing that you have eyes for another girl.
2007-08-10 07:21:06 · answer #11 · answered by Happy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋