I told my hubby to say sorry I should be able to go with my wife he is not even able to sit with me in the church the vicar wants them to sit in a certain pew.I think this is really off what do you think ?
2007-08-10 07:00:41 · 79 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
British wedding never been to one where the ushers go in cars before normally get themselves to the church
2007-08-10 07:08:47 · update #1
I don't know any of the other ushers or their wives I am going with friends but am just a bit peed off that I can't be with my own husband
2007-08-10 07:18:30 · update #2
I was 50 in May and have lived in the UK all my life and never heard of that before! Ushers are just there to make sure everything runs smoothly and that people sit in the right seats. The vicar has no say at all in who sits where!
I know what I would be telling whomever has made this rule up. Sorry but whither my hubbie goest so do I and if you don't like it you know what to do!
2007-08-10 07:36:03 · answer #1 · answered by dozyllama 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I think it's bad manners. Weddings seem to be the only time where suddenly, it's OK for the precious bride and groom to do whatever the frig they want. I don't think that's right, but it's the way it's gone. I'll get a hundred thumbs down for this - people are so arsy when it comes to weddings, especially on here. I was asked to go to a wedding recently, I knew no one, hadn't even met the bride and groom. Anyway, the stupid photographer kept asking my boyfriend and his friend - who were friends of the bride - to do all the leg work for her. She kept telling them to move the benches, to fetch this, get that. I was left, at least 4 times, standing completely on my own, like a lemon. It wasn't fair. I know it's a special day - I understand that, but why is it a fair attitude to say oh b*llocks to the guests, if they don't like it, sod them? That shouldn't be what it's about!
I agree, I think it is off - I could understand the limo thing, but not being able to sit with you is a bit mean. At least you can spend the reception on his arm! Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about it, and the majority of these answers will probably make you feel like a terrible person for having the audacity to have an opinion on someone else's wedding. You've got every right to feel shoved out - it's probably not deliberate on the wedding party's part, so take some comfort in that.
2007-08-10 08:48:26 · answer #2 · answered by tilly 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I was recently the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding, and after the ceremony they rented a limo to take the wedding party around town to have pictures taken, which later brought us to the reception site for the grand entrance. Even though most of the party had dates that were not in the wedding (including myself), one of the groomsmen's girlfriends decided to come in the limo with us. Not only was there not enough space, but she was very uncomfortable sitting in the car while we went to take pictures (that she wasn't a part of), and then going into the reception late by herself (instead of going with the other groomsmen's dates). I had brought my fiance who didn't know anyone either and he just made friends while hanging out and had a really good time.
My suggestion to you is that even if you could convince your hubby to stay with you or for you to go with them, it's probably not in anyone's best interest -- including your own. Make friends with some of the other ushers/groomsmen's dates (they'll probably be a little uncomfortable at first too) and you can all cheer for your guys together as they walk in. The bride will be happy. Your husband will be happy (and not torn between his wife and his friends). And you'll be happier in the end too.
2007-08-10 08:47:22 · answer #3 · answered by Jane 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what the Bride wants, because Lord knows the groom doesn't care. Or he could care, and want your husband to be in the limo with him for moral support. I don't know, I don't have the full story of who invited who and whatnot. This kind of thing isn't out of the ordinary though. My aunt did the same thing. Ask your husband to go with you instead of in the limo if you feel uncomfortable about it. If he refuses, then what can you do? It's not worth getting into a fight about. You could always hold out sex. Seems to work for me whenever I'm trying to make a point, and yes...I did just say that. I'm planning my own wedding and I'm not sticking to tradition. Family is important so I believe that spouses should sit next to spouses and children should sit next to parents...family members by other family members...etc. Tradition schmadition. That's just what I think though. Take a deep breath and just realize that some peoples organizational skills make no sense whatsoever unless you are that particular person. We'll just consider whoever organized the transportation and seating arrangements dense. And don't worry about what the other wives and husbands will think of you if you make a fuss about this. Like you said they don't know you. So after this occassion it's very unlikely that you will ever have to see them again! Keep in mind that this day is supposed to be about the bride though...so dont make to big of a deal about it. Good luck! Have fun!
2007-08-10 07:35:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know it doesn't seem fair to have to go alone, but at least if you do drive your own car to the wedding, you and your husband will have a way to get back home. You can see if any of the other usher's wives or girlfriends want to share a ride, and sit with you in church. Making a big deal out of it is only going to put stress on your husband, and I'm sure he's already got enough on his mind about being in his friend's wedding.
2007-08-10 07:09:18 · answer #5 · answered by SLS 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
I was an usher at my friends wedding and travelled by wedding car with the grooms parents......my wife was fine about it and travelled to the church with our friends. No chance that you can travel and sit with the other ushers or best mans partners? I'm sure the last thing your husbands friend wants is to cause any offence. The best mans' partner won't be sitting with him. Just go and have a good time I'm sure you can last half an hour or so without him!
2007-08-10 07:39:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am organising my own wedding just now, and I am having issues with people who are obviously of a similar mind to you.
My bridesmaids have boyfriends and they want them to be ushers so that they can be at the top table with them. I put my foot down, said no, because any wedding I have been at, the boyfriend of the bridesmaids just sit in with the other guests, just like I would expect the usher's girlfriends/wives to. In fact if one of the ushers said something along the lines of what you asked your husband to say, I would tell him that if he would rather just attend the wedding with you, that is fine, we will find another usher.
Sorry, but people who have been selected for specific roles for the day have to abide by special rules!
2007-08-13 05:22:09 · answer #7 · answered by fire_woman_1978 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have only been in one wedding and am planning my own, but I have never been able to sit with anyone other than the wedding party at the church... nor was he able to go in the limo to the event. He drove himself. I suppose it depends on the couple planning the wedding, but I haven't seen anyone escort any others in the limo but the wedding party and possibly the bride and groom's parents. My limo will only be taking myself and my fiance....the others will be transporting themselves due to budget constraints. I would just find my own way there and not worry about the church or the transportation... it is not out of the ordinary. Besides... he will need a ride home after the reception anyway if the limo will not be dropping them all of at their homes at the closure of the reception.
2007-08-10 07:08:50 · answer #8 · answered by Kim 5 · 8⤊ 0⤋
It is not uncommon for that to be the case. Ushers are a part of the wedding party and they usually just go with the flow along with the rest of the wedding attendants. He may not be able to sit with you during the ceremony or dinner but after dinner is over you can sit with him all you like. Besides it's only for a few hours.
2007-08-10 17:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by Wedding Planner 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your husband how you feel but you should try to make the bride and groom happy on their day as it will hopefully only happen once for them.
Do you know any other people at the wedding who you could go with?
Drive there your self
Ask to go in the car with your husband and the other Ushers
Go with the other Ushers wives/girlfriends
and if worst comes to worst throw a sicky - those wedding speeches can get soooooooo boring.....................
2007-08-10 07:20:57 · answer #10 · answered by looby loo 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋