effective than ranting and raving about our side of things?
2007-08-10 06:57:57 · 29 answers · asked by Prof Fruitcake 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Sending you a smile to help pick up your day!
2007-08-10 07:04:26 · update #1
To all who answered: Thank you. I know what you mean and/or I understand what you're saying.
2007-08-10 07:29:36 · update #2
To me, that phrase is just another way of disagreeing / not really listening to what the other person is genuinely saying. I find it much more effective to, for a few moments, totally put aside "my side" of an issue and really, deeply listen to what the other person is saying. This allows me to fully concentrate and focus on their point of view, rather than "half listening" while forming a defense / arguement about "my side."
When I do this, I often find that the other person and I are not in disagreement anyway, though on the surface it seemed as if we were. My experience is that all people have the same needs (acceptance, safety, expression, autonomy, respect, etc.) and if I listen for those commonalities, I can connect with them much more easily and then look for mutual beneficial solutions or strategies wherein both they and I can have our underlying needs met. If I am "forming a defense," or thinking "Yes, but...." to their words, then I miss these chances for mutuality and cooperation.
2007-08-10 07:14:53 · answer #1 · answered by ratatosk s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You make an excellent point, however, not everyone gives a care about other people's feelings. Therefore, we have those who blatantly oppose by ranting and raving becoming quite offensive at times. To many, being polite is not of the same value it is to you and to me.
2007-08-10 07:04:40 · answer #2 · answered by froggsfriend 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would you extend this to every observation? I realize that you are speaking about people who take exception to those who claim to see ghosts and receive messages from invisible intelligences. Should we all just say that is OK and pretend to "know what you mean" when we don't have any clue what you mean?
Perhaps you should post this question on a pedophilia web site. See if you know what those people mean... at least sodomizing children is a actual provable event that we can document and observe... I'm sure you'll have no problem knowing what they mean.
2007-08-10 07:18:27 · answer #3 · answered by erikfaraway 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was in high school, my health teacher freshman year taught us an effective way to debate people. We were always supposed to start off our response with "I respect your opinion, but..."
I've found that this helps a lot. Even if I don't type it out on here, I always try to remember that. Sometimes I fail though, because some of the opinions people have on here are so ridiculously uninformed it's not even funny.
2007-08-10 07:05:03 · answer #4 · answered by The_Cricket: Thinking Pink! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i get where your coming from, i try to in some way relate to the questioner in different ways, if nothing else "wow, that's tough..."
but some times you don't know what they mean, some times i don't think they know what they mean,
and rantings an unfortunate, but mandatory part of global web communications, like auto accidents on the road, they shouldn't happen, you hate to see it happen, there are things you can do to avoid it happening, but BAM there it is,
and really only (not only, but primarily) on the R&S board should you really have to say "i know what you mean" bc that's the only one that seams to have shifted questons, questions where people allready have a clear defined oppinyon, and are only seeking validation, or to shove it on some one else.
like if some one asks, "how do i finde my credit score for fee on the web", or "i'm looking at 69 doge Road Runner, i just put in the methane infuser, and now it won't start", those don't really need a "i know what you mena" but agin that's another one of those auto accident kinde of things on the web
2007-08-10 08:44:38 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew someone once who used to say: "do you see what I mean?" at the end of every observation he made. It was actually quite a clever trick, because if you intimated that you didn't see what he meant, you gave the impression of being obtuse, and if you agreed heartily he had you where he wanted you. On that basis, perhaps this would be a better formula than "I know what you mean"!
2007-08-10 07:12:14 · answer #6 · answered by Doethineb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be nice, wouldn't it. But then look at all the pot-stirrers that go out of their way to be rude (Kjelstad, The HypnoPope) and their remarks. And if I'm not mistaken, they're Atheists. Now I know many Atheists are very good, nice people. But the others, you can't have an intelligent, civil discussion with them.
2007-08-10 07:38:23 · answer #7 · answered by kaz716 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a bunch of BullSh*t. I like to see people rant and rave its fun. I sometimes even push their buttons on purpose just so I can get a kick out of. I don't do it to people who are nice. I do it to people who deserve it. Its a trip to see some dumb A**hole get all bent of shape and have them show how out of control they are of themselves and its mad funny. The bigger the A**hole they are the harder I will laugh in their face when they loss it . Yeah I get a kick out of it. It a lot of fun
NYPR69
2007-08-10 10:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to weigh effectiveness vs. laziness. Even if it were more effective, the sheer mass of my laziness ensures I won't spend the time to type the extra characters.
2007-08-10 07:48:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ranting makes my day go faster, but I know what you mean.
2007-08-10 07:00:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋