I find myself at a company where touching seems to be commonplace. This makes me uncomfortable. I find it unnecessary and very unprofessional. I don’t mean to sound frigid or antisocial, but I was brought up to respect personal space and was taught that physical closeness/touching is an intimate thing that is reserved for family, close friends and significant others.
The thing is, I don’t comprehend by osmosis. So, if you are explaining something to me, then you needn’t put your hand on my shoulder or back. I understand you quite well via the use of my ears. Likewise, if you are speaking to me, then you needn’t stand so close to me that your nose is merely inches from mine. I have no hearing impairments. I hear quite well. What really gets me is when I take a step back; the close-talker takes a step forward. When I have said, “Please don’t touch me”, the “toucher” does it again down the line.
Why is it so difficult to respect someone’s personal space?
2007-08-10 06:47:55 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Haha I understand completely. When I transitioned from working for an American bank to a French one, the continental Europeans would stand so close, I felt like our noses were about to touch when they were talking to me!! For me I feel the best thing to do is just make the other person feel at ease. If they feel they need to stand four inches from you to talk to you, let them. By putting them at ease they can talk about the work situation they need to get through. As long as it doesn't cross a line into inappropriate. I did once try to say something but it made things terribly awkward and that person just felt like they couldn't work with me anymore, which you don't want!
If it really bothers you and you want to change things, when they are standing there and you walk up to speak with them, stop two feet away, then three, build it up until you've got your bubble and it will not be a shock to them, they'll barely notice! Regarding the pat on the back etc, I haven't figured out what to do with that except ignore and don't reciprocate in the hopes that they will catch on.
Also be aware that they are trying to convey emphasis or kindness with their gestures, so you will have to compensate. If you don't want gestures/touching, make up for it with a kinder/softer tone, more intonation/emphasis. They'll realize your method gets the job done sufficiently!
2007-08-10 08:36:30 · answer #1 · answered by annabanana242 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you're coming from, I am not a hugger, it depends on who you are for me to hug you. As far as your job goes, talk to your supervisor about people touching you.
The next time that person touches you while explaining something or talking to you, just take their hand and say excuse me. Don't let go of their hand, that way you know they are listening to you. Tell them that again, that you do not like to be touched, it makes you uncomfortable, please don't touch me again, if you do, I will simply get up and walk away from you, do you understand?
The only draw back to doing this is that people may think you unfriendly or bitchy, if this is not your attitude then I am sure you can do this in a kind nice way.
But definitely hold their hand while explaining that to them because they obviously need to be touched in order to understand something.
Good luck.
2007-08-10 13:58:36 · answer #2 · answered by Miss 6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now-a-days people associate touching with getting your point across, showing sympathy, and the such. If you feel that it is an irritant than you need to express yourself. Do so in a gentle and casual way. Do not try and be to forceful about it, just let it be known how you were raised and that it makes you uncomfortable when they do that. God Bless.
2007-08-10 14:20:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend Donna has a humor way to resolve this she says to the person "Listen when you are blurry you are too close, step back." Also if someone touches her she says "OUCH" each and every time - without fail. These tactics seem to work quite well!
2007-08-10 14:08:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first ask them to refrain from touching you.
If that doesn't help talk to the office manager and explain that you don't appreciate your co workers constantly touching you.
If that doesn't help either I would file a formal complaint.
You have the right to be protected from unwanted advances.
Good luck!
2007-08-10 14:03:45 · answer #5 · answered by CarynB 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what ever happened to privacy
why do people ask such personal questions
why are you considered a lier if you omit details that
are nobody's business anyway
2007-08-10 13:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by Dino 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋