TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: &n bsp; No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
2007-08-10 06:46:00 · 31 answers · asked by dididdleydihi 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
hahhahahaha again good
2007-08-10 06:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teehee
2007-08-10 06:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL i heard the last 2 but i never heard the other ones lol star for u
2007-08-10 06:49:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHA.....i'm gonna laugh for 30 more minutes...here's one for you
This question was asked in a university level chemistry exam.
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell , let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until "All Hell Breaks Loose".
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure w ill drop until "Hell Freezes Over".
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this heory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A
CHeeRioS
2007-08-10 06:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
good 1 lol 10/10 x
2016-05-19 00:04:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found most of them funny, I should really think of giving thse answers when my teacher asks them.
2007-08-13 00:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha , good ones, havent heard of them before
2007-08-10 06:50:15 · answer #7 · answered by Olive_kittykat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the last one.
2007-08-10 07:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by FP 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahaha....great ones!! Have a star
2007-08-10 07:04:41 · answer #9 · answered by KAM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good ones.
2007-08-10 10:17:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahaha
these are funny.
you deserve a star.
2007-08-10 08:08:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋