Parents, how should I handle this?

Question

Is it normal for young children (3-4) to masturbate. How should I handle this as a parent?
Serious answers only, rude answers will be reported.

Answer 1

At that age, they're not getting any sexual stimulation from it. They're simply exploring their bodies. The only thing (I think) that you have to teach them is that its not appropriate to do this in front of others.

When my preschool age boys did that, I just told them if they needed "private time" they needed to go to the bathroom or to their room, but it wasn't acceptable to do that in front of others.

Answer 2

Children can masturbate from birth. There's nothing to "handle".

While they usually start around puberty when their hormones constantly remind them that they have genitals that feel good when stimulated, they do start younger, as soon as they discover that it feels good, most often when someone else shows them how (don't panic, playing doctor is normal, too), but also by accident. However they discover it, it's harmless and normal.

Some need to be reminded that it's something we do in private, but otherwise they can generally figure it all out for themselves. And some go overboard and do it constantly all day, but since they don't have a sex drive at that age, they can easily be distracted by being encouraged to do something else, like a chore or simply to go outside and play.

Answer 3

It's totally normal. That doesn't mean that it's something that I want to see my kids do. WHen they got to that point (about 2 1/2) we started teaching the concept of privacy for them.
Honey, that is your body, and if you want to touch it fine, but anything that is normally covered by underwear, you need to be in private to do that. In the bath tub, in your bedroom, not on the couch or in the car. (yes that happened in the car.)
If you freak out about it, they are liable to enjoy the reaction and do it in order to get that reaction. If it's treated like any other thing you'd rather they not do around you, then it's less of a big deal. That is how I handled it with my son and my daughters, and yes, they all did that, and no the girls weren't dealing with any infections or itchiness, they were exploring their bodies and it felt good. They just needed to learn when it was not acceptable to do that. The person who equated it to booger picking hit the nail on the head. Sure you do it, but you don't do it in front of anyone else. LOL
It's completely normal, with both girls and boys, but it seems to be more of an issue with boys. But then, I think that may be the case with adults as well. :)

Answer 4

You know, if you make a big deal out of it, the kid's going to feel ashamed and dirty.

Is the child around anyone who might teach him such things? If not, I think the least stressful thing for you all to do is, if you see such behavior, to tell the little one that what he's/she's doing is something private, and could you go somewhere private?

I know it's a little disturbing, but often kids find out what feels good a long time before adults, so don't make a big deal of it unless it's in public display, and then ask the child to go do it privately.

::hugs::

Answer 5

Actually, this is a more common situation than most people know and it's perfectly normal. Basically, when kids are that age, they are extremely curious and want to know how everything "works". Including their genitalia. It's a phase that will eventually go away. Well, until puberty that is... Ha ha, I'm joking.
But seriously, there's no need to worry!

Answer 6

My childs doctor said it is completely normal! I have recently caught my 3 year old masturbating. I was really shocked at first, but after talking to the doctor I was relieved to find out almost all toddlers masturbate.

Answer 7

Yeah, little boys "find" themselves and discover what great fun it is to diddle. It's normal. Don't make a big deal out of it, but tell your son (I'm assuming it's a boy) that he should not let strangers see his penis, and he shouldn't touch it when he's not in his bedroom or bathroom.

That's how I'm handling it with MY almost-four year old...

If you make a big deal out of it, you can either cause them to feel guilty, or make them want to do it even more.

Answer 8

In all reality its not normal for girls, they normally only touch themselves if they are itchin or burning from a diaper rash. But as for boys they tend to fondle themselves just out of curiosity of what is that hangin there. LOL { A mother of 7 kids } 3girls and 4 boys. You all need to realize while you are saying my answer in bad I am a 32 yr old who was molested from age 3 to 5 and I now work with molested children so all are not normal, just keep your eyes and ears open and listen to your children if they talk.

Answer 9

i read that it is totally normal for them to masturbate. the book said not to make a big deal of it that they are just exploring and it feels good to them. so i would tell you to not worry so much about it that it will stop soon.

Answer 10

well i havent had to deal with this yet but i have friends that have and they just tell heir children that its something to be done in private yes it is very normal i mean even when their babies you change their diapers and thats where their hand goes you just need to teach them how to do it, i dont mean like actually HOW TO DO IT, but you know not in front of people and never to do it to another child. just like with their dos and donts for playtime you need to teach this also.