Ok...yesterday I went to my friend's house and her older sister and her older sister's boyfriend (both in their twenties) were there when we got in. I'm black, they're white and I believe the boyfriend was visiting from Connecticut or something. We live in upstate New York.
The boyfriend seemed really like...uncomfortable around me. I felt him looking at me when I wasn't looking at him...he looked really nervous and it started making ME uncomfortable. :(
Everytime I go to a restaurant or something, there's always a white person (usually a guy) staring like they're trying to keep an eye on us or something...and I'm not being paranoid because I used to think I was being paranoid, then I realized that it really wasn't in my imagination. It's REALLY annoying and I hate it.
It's happened so much that the next time someone does it, I'm just gonna wave at them and smile and to make THEM feel stupid. Is that a good solution lol?
2007-08-10 05:48:43 · 21 answers · asked by newyorkrose9 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
that should say "wave and smile at them to make them feel stupid"...
I'm just rly sick of putting up with it. I shouldn't have to.
2007-08-10 05:50:59 · update #1
Yeah...I think I'm pretty, been called pretty before... but I don't think that's the reason.
Even when I was bowling the next day, I realized the white guys in the lane next to us were like studying us (i was w/ my cousin and brother) and the black family on the other side of us.
And when I'm in a restaurant, it's happened when I'm not even directly in front of them (if I was directly in front of them I wouldn't be asking this question because it seems like a no-brainer).
WTF, it pisses me off so much.
2007-08-10 06:00:39 · update #2
shoot, that should say "bowling the other day" ...wtf lol...i need to eat some wheaties...
2007-08-10 06:01:20 · update #3
you had a good idea,just do it
2007-08-10 05:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of old people stare at me. (tattoos, piercings, etc.).
This is how I get them to STOP.
When I feel someone staring, I glance at them, then very quickly look away, just to be sure they were staring. Then, I wait a couple of seconds and glance at them again and if they are still staring, I quickly look away. If I do this one more time, and they are STILL staring, then the next time I do NOT just glance, I turn my entire head in a very quick obvious manner and look at them; I don't change my facial expression or anything like that, just look right at them with a neutral face. The obvious head turn after the casual glances is usually enough to jut them out of their staring daze.
The smiling/wave thing you suggested would probably work, too... and is probably "nicer" than what I do... but they must already think I'm crazy anyway, with the tattoos and all, so why not give them more reason? *haha*
2007-08-10 11:36:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind that they may be staring at you not because you're black, but because you're a female, or because you're young, or a combination.
Keep in mind that staring is not necessarily a negative sign, it may simply be a nervous reaction, especially if you come across as defensive or irritated. So you're not being paranoid, you just might be reading more into it then the starer intends. Give them the benefit of the doubt, for the sake of your own sanity and well-being.
But yes, certainly, draw attention to the fact that they are staring. Smiling and waving is a great idea, it points out that their staring is obvious without being negative about it.
2007-08-10 05:59:27 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. i think the two genders stare at the two gender whilst an staggering exceptionally- finding specimen of mankind passes via. some additionally stare at others who've defects or walk in unusual style, regardless of the undeniable fact that it is impolite to accomplish that. Get used to it, and count quantity your self fortunate for any interest -- it is extra effective to be thoroughly disregarded. adult males do extra staring than women human beings i think, from North pole to the South, from the Americas to the Mid-east.
2016-10-02 01:21:11 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I'm white,But it must be very difficult being a black woman ! I honestly believe it! It must be even harder if Your an insecure woman! They may be scared or they may even be curious.(what is it like to be black.What is it like being a black woman) You don't know what they are thinking! Do you? Don't assume! I would turn towards them,give them a Quick smile,then turn away! That may make them aware that you know that they are Present! You can't be vulnerable! You have to know who you are! Don't worry about what they are thinking! Take care and Good Luck!
2007-08-10 15:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by Bailey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in someone's general line of view, they will end up looking at you often while eating or the like. No matter who you are or where you go, there will be someone looking at you. I really do think you are making more of this than is justified.
And perhaps the boyfriend thought you were hot.
2007-08-10 05:54:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know, I hate it soo much too!
Sometimes I would stare them down until they stopped looking and/or averted their eyes.
Sometimes I would wave and give a big smile.
Sometimes I would say hello, without any facial expressions.
Sometimes I would smile and when they attempted to speak to me, ignore them.
Try different things and see which ones you like.
Above all...keep 'em guessing!
2007-08-10 05:56:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! That's the best idea. If I am stared at
A. If it's a creep I glare at him
B. Somebody whos not: I just smile
Maybe they think you are pretty? Try to think of a good explanation for them to stare and you'll feel better.
2007-08-10 05:53:50 · answer #8 · answered by Unafraid 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just silly and rude with it.
You'd think that as long as Blacks have been in America, we wouldn't seem like an oddity.
Don't worry about it.......it's their problem, not yours!
p.s. you're probably a very pretty girl.
2007-08-12 15:37:51 · answer #9 · answered by sugarbee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should wave and smile at them, let them know you know what they are doing. NOBODY has the right to be stared at as if they are some zoo animal.
2007-08-10 10:21:54 · answer #10 · answered by sawlmw2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, i am not saying ur lying but i think ur being paranoid. ever think they might be staring bc ur attractive not bc ur black? if u felt uncomfortable u shoudlhave said somethign to your friend so she could have spoken to her sister. i feel you on the whole staring thing though. if i catch peopel dstaring i stare back at them and if they dont stop i wave or ask them what their looking at.
2007-08-10 05:54:32 · answer #11 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋