Why do people give their unasked opinions on the military?

Question

Okay, so here it is...my husband is in the military. When he is out of uniform (or in for that matter), and someone asks what he does for a living, he will tell them. Why do people at that point think it is okay to give their opinion (usually people with a neg. opinion) about the military, or the war? When you find out someone is a lawyer (or some other disliked professioin), you don't automatically make rude comments to them. Why do people think it is okay to do that to our servicemen? Nobody asked what their opinion was! I TRULY don't understand peoples' need to voice their unwanted, unasked opinions to our soldiers. It's like they aren't capable of showing respect to that person, simply because they don't agree with the war, or do not understand the military itself. I am sure that there isn't any good answer to this, but I pose the question anyways... Why? I can think of no other profession that deserves the respect that this one does, even if you don't agree w/ the war.

Answer 1

I can think of a few reasons.

People like the person who was rude to your husband are very arrogant, and possess little to no degree of tact. They tend to think of themselves, and their opinions, as being the only "obvious/correct" answer and anyone who disagrees isn't worthy of their time, much less the right to voice that differing opinion. They also feel that this gives them the "right" to bluntly insult a servicemember to their face.

I've encountered this too, as an Iraq war veteran. It's extremely annoying and frustrating for many reasons. One, because people like that absolutely NO IDEA what they're talking about. They clearly have formulated their opinion of this war based on their political leanings, what they see on TV, and what their favorite politicians tell them. They don't like hearing from veterans that they're full of it, so they summarily dismiss any testimony a veteran gives as either being from a "mindless Bush minion" or from an "uneducated hack that couldn't get a 'real' job". (John Kerry is famous for having made a rude generalization about people who join the military, and is ostracized within the military by most of us, because of it).

To people like that, the concept of "freedom of speech" only applies to them and to people who agree with them. It doesn't apply to people who have differing opinions, which is even more comical, given how much these same people harp on nebulous concepts like "diversity" and "respecting people from many backgrounds". It's blatantly hypocritical, and is little more than pseudo-intellectual parading.

I think some of it, deep down, is a resentment on the part of these people because they know that they would never, ever have the intestinal fortitude to sacrifice so many of their freedoms for people like themselves--people who don't appreciate it and spit on the faces of those who keep them alive and free.

I've also noticed that most of the people who decry the war really couldn't care less about the actual war itself, much less the soldiers over there or the lives of Iraqis hanging in the balance. It's all a convenient excuse to protest a president they don't like, and a convenient cause (or bargaining chip, if you will) to garner support to further their own favored politicians and legislation. The ramifications of prematurely pulling out and abandoning that entire part of the world to the wolves matters little to them; because any collateral damage from such a move they can still conveniently blame Bush for! After all, it was all HIS fault, right? Never mind the fact that he wanted to stay there and finish the job--it's HIS fault that his opponents doomed the region to many more years of instability. (These are the same people who, by the way, think this war is all about oil and who claim Bush has killed "400,000" Iraqis, like some earlier moron suggested--people who take Rosie O'Donnell's word as gospel, in other words. This war is NOT, nor ever has been, about oil; and even Saddam Hussein didn't off that many Iraqis, let alone us.)

It all boils down to whether you prefer to listen to soldiers who have been there, or to politicians/reporters with an agenda for telling you what they're telling you. It also boils down to whether you're sensible enough and respectful enough to listen to opinions in opposition to yours; that's the definition of "balance", is it not?

I sympathize with you, and your husband. Don't give those people the time of day; they're simply not worth your time. Particularly not if they can't even get over themselves for a few seconds to thank a soldier for preserving their "right" to be an idiot.

Answer 2

I'm truly amazed at the respondent implying that military has some kind of independent will and decision-making authority. Sounds very absurd - by constitutional law, Joint Chiefs of Staff are assigned a purely advisory position. The military can advise on the strategy and tactics of war, but otherwise they follow the orders of Commander-in-Chief. It's like suggesting a mutiny or a putsch of sorts. Congress has the influence, not the military.
As for unwanted opinions, I think this situation applies across the board to the society, there is always going to be the difference between those who have very limited life experience, spoilt with the benefits of life, happily ignorant and so confident, and those who saw the other side of the coin. Lack or abundance of intellect or money is not the factor here, it is just closed or open mind issue.

Answer 3

I am a ret navy guy so I can relate look just pay no mind people seem to have a opion on everything, The military is nothing more than a JOB always remember that the fact that there is war going on is not yours or your husband fault. Should decide to stay in and get his 20 in one those same people will be so envious of the fact that at his young age he something that they may never get a nice ret. check, Yea its not always warm and fuzzy but in the end it will justify its self I know this from my experience I have been ret now for almost 8yrs and when people figure that I really could care less about what they think they usually just go away.

Answer 4

I think it's rude for them to give unasked negative opinions to your husbands face, regardless of theirfeelings about the war or the military. Your husband is doing something he believes, and he has a job that keeps you both very well taken care of. I understand that. Not everyone has to agree with everyone. everyone has to RESPECT everyone.

I am not in support of the war. I'm actually a pacifist. However, that being said, I have lots of friends who are soldiers. They know my beliefs because we know eachother well, not because I lecture them on the failure of their ways. You see, whether or not I would make the choice to do what they do doesn't mean I don't support the people that they are. When they're home, I welcome them back gladly, when they're gone I worry about them constantly, and they have my complete moral support. It's not an easy job!

Save the political comments for protests, for the politicians, for the voting booths. In your interpersonal dealings, I think we should all treat eachother as PEOPLE.

I'm sorry about the way he has been treated. Not all of us pacifists are so rude.

Answer 5

"When you find out someone is a lawyer (or some other disliked professioin), you don't automatically make rude comments to them."

Yes, you do.

Well, not you personally, but a hypothetical you. I am a lawyer, and people constantly offer me their unasked (and invariably ignorant and asinine) opinions of law and lawyers.

I think it's deplorable, but normal. I just hope that people who have such experiences will themselves refrain from acting similarly towards members of other "disliked" professions.

Answer 6

I have wondered that very same thing. If people ask what my husband does and I answer I don't expect to hear about their opinion on the war, the president or our Military. I think it's rude and distasteful; I certainly wouldn't spout my opinion about your career choice and I don't care about your views enough to talk about them while we're in the check out line at the grocery store and we'll never see each other again. But, it bothers me most when I have my kids with me and they say stupid stuff in front of them. I actually had one guy tell me he hoped my husband came home with a bullet in his head during his last deployment when the guy saw my yellow ribbon key chain on my purse and inquired about my husband. It was one of the few moments in my life when I was actually at a loss for words. Needless to say I took my key chain off my purse and had a very disheartening Q&A session with my son on the way home since he was there with me. Some people have zero class and are complete a**holes sometimes.

Answer 7

I just posted a similar question last night. When I tell people Im leaving for the military i get some negative reactions and it breaks my heart. To me its a dream to join the military(Army) and to have someone damper my spirits because of their views of the military just eats me inside. =( I guess people will never change oh well. As long as we do whats right in our hearts thats all the matters right? I leave for basic for the Army in 3 weeks I am an emotional rollercoaster right now.

Answer 8

I have been married to my husband (who is in the military) for 22 years and it hasn't changed. Many people think that those that join to military are uneducated and can't get a job doing anything else. I remind those that voice this that the military has a higher education level than the average public, therefore their opinion is without fact. This usually shuts them up.
You are correct in saying that many feel that they can criticize the military or war to a service member's face and that is rude. Could it be that people feel that since the military is funded through taxes that it gives them this right? Possibly. Or maybe it's because they just need to gripe at something to compensate for their own miserable lives? Who knows?
Hang in there and good luck.

Answer 9

I don't know, I know that when I get an uneducated person telling me what it was wrong to be in the Army I would always respond with a "your welcome" and then when they give me a confused look I simply explain:

"Because of men and women, like me, who were and still are willing to risk our lives for reasons we don't always fully understand, people like YOU are giving the freedom to say whatever the hell you want, no matter how much of an *** it makes you look."

The conversation normally ends there, because they've realized that I'm educated and I served my country with pride and that they are the *** that I called them.

But really it's true, they have the right to spout there opinions and I have the right to tell them how much of a dumbass they are for it, and that's why I served my country proudly.


I'm also one of the vet's who don't like hearing "thank you" for serving, saying thank you to a vet is too self serving, I did my job I came home from every diploment and I brought both the man to the left and right of me home safe too.

Answer 10

First and foremost-

--THANK YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND FOR YOUR SERVICE TO OUR COUNTRY--YOU HAVE MY UTMOST RESPECT AND MY GOD BE WITH YOU WHERE EVER YOU GO

Then to the idiots that seem to disagree,,you need to stop and realize who is preserving your right to have an opinion,,much less state it.

If these people didn't battle the scum of the earth ,,the scum would come here and take control of this country.

The LIES about the war and the number of people we have killed are just that LIES.
ANYONE THAT MAKES SUCH A STATEMENT IS NOTHING BUT A BOLD FACE LIAR .

But you have to understand,, you only have about half of the people supporting you. So half of the time you should be ready to deal with the ignorance.
The other half are the likes of kerry,clinton,kennedy, edwards,peloski,reid,murphy,and lets dont forget the sorriest one,,that woman running against peloski,,whatever her name is.

Answer 11

It never happens to me but if it did I would come back with something to make them understand a little better what we do. I would avoid a negative confrontation because the last thing I would want is to tarning the image of the service. It is OK to have your opinions if you do not agree with the war but I have seen one of the main reasons for this is due to the negative media and lack of education for the general public.