My father despises me because I'm fat and unattractive and I think he's a materialistic jerk...
2007-08-10 05:20:29 · 9 answers · asked by think_of_the_bubble 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dislike, despise or even hate the action, but not the person.
It is OK to hate the way someone treats you. It is OK to dislike the way someone acts. It is even OK to despise the way someone talks to you, or even feels about you.
However, do not despise the person. Someday, that person may correct their actions, words, or talk. When that day comes, you may wish to have a closer relationship. If you despise the person, you may never get this chance.
I sincerely hope this helps.
2007-08-10 06:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by MasterMmmm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the situation. If a parent is physically hurting a child other than discipline (in my case) then yeah, it's understandable. Has your father ever actually said to you that he thinks your all of those things? Or, did he just mention that he doesn't think your a healthy weight, or that you need better eating habits? Because if your taking it the wrong way, you may just want to calm down, or just mention that you appreciate his concerns, but maybe try to be a little more understanding in the way he words it.
2007-08-10 05:51:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he actually told you that he despises you (which of course is very wrong) . Not trying to defend him but it could possibly be just tough love or a feeling of helplessness because he doesn't know how to help you and it just makes him angry in general. That's what MY father confessed to me when I would hurt myself.
Your father needs some therapy as do you, which could be difficult to persuade him to do.
Assuming you're a teen, it is not unusual to be so angry and hurt by the things you're not getting from your parents and feeling like they have failed YOU!
But don't let that anger to to hatred because then you're shutting out the chance of ever healing in yourself and seeing your father's weaknesses as just a broken human being who didn't know how to communicate, and not a monster. Sooner or later in your life you will need to forgive him so that your anger doesn't ruin your life.
IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, ASK HIM IF HE LOVES YOU. IF HE SAYS NO RESOULUTELY, THEN CALL CHILD SERVICES AND TALK TO THEM.
If you are an adult, then leave him alone , try to get therapy and move on.
2007-08-10 05:51:49 · answer #3 · answered by Corini7 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ever kid around the world gets annoyd by their parents, fact. But they are the first ones to stand up for you, love you feed you and tell you things that dont always make us happy or are things we want to hear....but thats being a parent. It's not an easy job but the best one I have ever had...Maybe you should rethink your actions too...And dont be hard on yourself. We are all just people, as long as your a GOOD person your size shouldn't matter..
2007-08-10 05:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by Whoa Baby Whoa! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is never ok, my mother has done some horrible things to me but I still treat her with love and respect. The Bible says "Honor thy father and thy mother". Even though she treats me like crap I am still obligated to do the right thing. If God-forbid something happened to her I don't want to live with the guilt of knowing I didn't do right by her. SHe will have to answer to God for her actions.
2007-08-10 06:26:07 · answer #5 · answered by PharmNerd 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry about this, and i'm sure it's painful for you.
he likely has never heard the words "supportive" "caring" "compassion" in his life.
my father was very abusive as well, and it affected me deeply.
hon, if you are concerned about your value and self-esteem, you can find a lot of information on the internet for self-help.
dont' let him drag you down!!!
search for:
SELF ESTEEM SELF HELP
COPING WITH AN ABUSIVE PARENT
i hope you start feeling better about YOU. YOU are WORTH IT! hugs
2007-08-10 05:25:51 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it is not okay, even if your father thinks that about you, you should still respect him he loves you enough to tell you the truth.
2007-08-10 05:33:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grow up., lose weight and respect your parents!!!
2007-08-10 05:24:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No it is not. Honor they mother and father.
2007-08-10 05:23:05 · answer #9 · answered by Danny K 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋