Is this normal for a 4 year old?

Question

My almost 5 year old son cries at the drop of a hat, especially when he does not get his way. I'm concerned because he seems to get upset over stupid things. Example: I put too much or too little cereal into his bowl and he flips out - crying and yelling that I did the wrong thing. He is so smart and knows how to say "may I please have more/less". Sometimes he will give the polite answer and be so good it blows me away. Other times he just flips out. At day care he will often cry when he cannot do something instead of asking for help.

There have been no stressful family or other issues that I can think of. His dad and I are happily married. We never give in to crying - we are very consistent and this has been occurring on and off for over a year. I cannot pinpoint an exact trigger.

Is this normal? If not, what should I do?

Answer 1

Since you and your husband seem to be very consistent and are aware of the little things that are triggering him, I'd say seek some kind of intervention, especially if this has been going on for quite a while. His coping mechanisms are at risk, he seems frustrated and unable to deal with situations that should really not be that big of a deal. Your son may just be seeking attention or there may be something bothering him that he cannot at this point talk about. A counselor, family therapist or school psychologist may help you pinpoint the issue. Best of luck.

Answer 2

I have no answer to this. I have the same problem. I work at a day care and there is a 4 year old who does this also. We have also caught her touching herself and she even put in object inside her. They send her in dresses ( big mistake) because she is constantly flashing her panties. We have a few other girls who also "hump" their blankets. All are also 4 years old. I am at a stump for this as well. The first girl mother knows about this and she just laughs it off? I guess she sees nothing wrong in this but some how I don't because I don't see much of the other girls doing this expect for the other 2.

Answer 3

Hi,

I'm starring this question, because my 4 yr old son does the exact same thing. I don't think it is abnormal, at least I hope it isn't... Perhaps our boys are just not quite emotionally mature enough yet to always react appropriately.

My son is also extremely impulsive... is yours? I mean he will be playing on the playground and all of a sudden he'll be halfway across the street before I can react, for no apparent reason other than he decided it was the thing to do at the time... Let's just hope they grow out of it soon... eh?

Answer 4

This is an age where children want so bad to be independant. They want to do things by themselves even though sometimes they physically aren't able to do it. They get frustrated over the fact that they aren't able to produce the same results if you were to do it. It's normal and yes, annoying, but part of being a kid and part of being a parent. The only thing I do is, depending on the situation, I let my kid try until they ask for help, and prepare to clean up the mess. As for the fit throwing, tell your child you can't hear him and he needs to talk. Even though you know what he wants, make him say it instead of screaming it and he'll stop....hopefully. Worked for me.

Answer 5

I think you'll love this solution; it certainly worked with my three. Typically children in general resist anything “good” for them so as parents we merely have to be cunning enough to turn the tables so this natural trait benefits us. In the case of my three kids I explained to them that crying was in fact very good for them, that it exercises their lungs and encourages good development and I don’t mind them exercising all they want BUT! You must do this exercise in your room so others and still talk, listen to the TV etc. Went he starts the crying jag encourage him to, “good boy Billy, Mommy is so glad to see you taking your exercising seriously…then take him to his room and close the door. Tell him to come out and see you when he finishes with his exercising and reassure him you will be waiting in the living room for him when he finishes “exercising”. I promise you when he sees this response on a regular basis he will lose all interest in “exercising his lungs alone”.

Answer 6

At his age, such manipulative behavior could be considered immature. At this age, the more your son is around other kids, and he sees THEIR REACTION, (thinking he's a baby) his behavior will improve over the next year before he begins school.

Answer 7

No, this is not normal. He is setting you up for a long, hard road unless you can curb that behavior now. Whatever the reaction is that he is getting from you now, it's not working. Change it up on him. He is training you and checking your boundaries. Apparently he needs some clarification.

Answer 8

its a cry for attention, it might be negative attention but either way his crying and yelling gets attention from you. Believe it or not try ignoring that behavior. Explain to him calmly and only once, that you will help to rectify his problem once he calms down and asks proberly. Example, I will be happy to put more milk in your cereal once you ask me nicely and use please and thank you. And walk away. Do not react to him.

Answer 9

It's very normal at his age.

Answer 10

he needs more attention, if he keeps this up, it'll get worse when he becomes a teen.