How do you get over being so mistreated by your Mother?

Question

My mother became very emotionally and verbally abusive to me after my Dad died and my drug addicted brother moved back home. We were fine, never had an argument my entire adult life. Then my Dad died ( I was living there with my son), my brother came back home and then it started. The first thing she said was if any argument happens with my brother and I she would take his side no matter what because he can do more for her then I can. I am fully disabled from an abuive mariage that caused PTSD, anxiety along with auto-immine diseases. I just can't understand this at all. My brother doesn't do anything to help out, no rent, no food or really any help at the house. he may maybe cut the grass once a month. Nopw they pay someone to do it. So what is it that he does more for her then I can?? It so unbearably hurtful! Hope someone can help?

Answer 1

Go to welfare get some help and get out of her house. It won't take long for your brother to take everything she has.Addicts really don't care who they use. And your child doesn't need this kind of life.

Answer 2

Good News: PTSD is a label not an excuse and can be self-managed and gotton rid of..... I think mom's enabling your brother because your dad died and she's hasn't decided to move on with her life. If she enjoys marriage she should be moving on with her life not replacing her husband with her son. Plus, mom's are not suppose to approve or enable addiction no matter the age because it's not wise and it's not loving. Love yes...but this is an example where she's not acknowledging her loss and instead hurting her son. It's selfish...don't go there.

I would concentrate on getting rid of what you don't like in your life on a daily basis and one step at a time using self-discipline and making positive thoughts and events in your life a priority. Don't count on mom for much support right now if your brother is using her and she's using him. That's a whole other ball of wax there considering her grievance process is sort of at a stand still and your brother is reaping the harvest off of it. This definately doesn't mean family should have a big blow-out and not speak to each other it means all could benefit by living in the truth.

~~~~Take care

Answer 3

if you have mental health issues already, then you are likely very sensitive to others, and their behaviors.. i can relate to PTSD.

your mother probably hasn't finished the grieving process over your dad.. perhaps she is angry, frustrated and feeling lost in some ways? I can't say for sure, i don't know her.

as for sticking up for your brother, that doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

is there a way you can get into your own place, if you don't need care/help? there are some apartment complexes which do have nurses and caretakers who come in to help people who need assistance.

otherwise ask your mom if you can talk. let her know how you feel. you could write a list of things you're feeling, first. it's worth a try.... also let her know that you understand she might be going through a lot because of your dad's death. maybe that will help?

i hope you get some good answers.... this was the best i could do. hugs

Answer 4

He is enabling her behavior and vice versa. Man what a sad situation...I feel really bad for you and your son....this has to be taken its toll on him as well.

Is there anyway you can move out on your own with your son? It sounds like you just really need to remove yourself from this situation and live YOUR life the best way you can.....

Since you're fully disabled, I'm assuming you mean recogonized as disabled by the state, I'm sure there are resources out there that can help you and your son....

Best of luck!!

Answer 5

PTSD people do not need to be in that environment
Mom is in stress as well
move in with a friend for a while
so the stresses lower