did i have reason to be upset with coworkers?

Question

i had started my job 6 months earlier and find out one friday morning that there are donoughts and coffee in the cafeteria for everyone to talk and eat or whatever every friday morning. i found this out mistakenly one day adn was very hurt that no one had ever told me. i didnt tell anyone because i am shy and have a hard enought time talking with people and this just amde it harder but i was very upset. am i being irrational or was this a little thoughtless, albeit unintentionally?

Answer 1

Thoughtless, yes, but I doubt it was deliberate. Each one probably thought the other had told you. It is a shame someone didn't say "I'm going to get a donut, wanna join me, or do you want me to bring you one?" But, I doubt they meant to leave you out. Try to get over your upset right now so you will feel better.
Now, I learned, as a shy person, I just have to inject myself into situations that are uncomfortable so I don't get left out. Push yourself to go get a donut and join one of the groups talking; see how they treat you. If it is not good, find someone else to join with. (They may see you as unsociable because you just stay at your desk, not knowing you were never invited.)

Answer 2

I work in a large workplace as a manager. Yes, it was rude they did not tell you, however, it was not intentional. There is alot of information for you to learn to perform at a new job. Donuts in the breakroom on Friday's just isn't considered a high priority. Don't take it personal. Just an oversight.

Try to develop some bonds with co-workers so you can start to be included in their side activities. They will usually provide you info like this. Be aware if you are shy you could be perceived as withdrawn or stuckup by others.

Answer 3

It was rather rude that NO ONE thought to tell you about this Friday ritual. I would say that sometimes people honestly forget to tell you stuff because they know it (it's so ingrained in them) and they just take it for granted that everyone knows it. This sort of thing happens, but eventually you either discover it on your own or someone thinks to tell you about it. There are a lot of little things to remember to tell a new person. I was at a job once where no one told me about a printing shortcut until I'd been there 3 mos - they just forgot. BUT for not one single person to mention the Friday "social hour" to you after 6 mos. time is not a matter of forgetting - it's leaving you out on purpose. That's my take on it anyway. I'd be hurt too. But now that you know about it, join in as if it's no big deal. Once you see everyone's reaction to you being there, then you'll know for sure if you were left out on purpose or not. Good luck!

Answer 4

People do a lot of stupid unthoughtful things. They may have just forgot to tell you.

Answer 5

Don't be upset, they probably just forgot to mention it. They should have, but try not to let it bother you.