She recently got kicked out of her girlfriends place when her friend moved, is living in a trailer that the safety inspector said she shouldn't be living in, and just crashed her car. She comes over to our house after work when she can't get a ride to the trailer but has been slowly moving in her clothes! What can I do? I dont want her living with me because she's an alcoholic and becomes mentally abusive, and just wont listen to reason. My husband doesn't want her around either because she usually says such harsh things that she puts him to tears.
2007-08-10 03:34:23 · 16 answers · asked by Lori 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Take her stuff and move it back to her place. Then keep the door locked and dont answer when it is her.
2007-08-10 03:37:22 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I relate so very well to your circumstances. I also have an alcoholic MIL. She is also mentally abusive and cares for no one but herself. Your husband may need help standing up to her, it is not ever easy to tell a parent to leave. It becomes even harder when you through in the reasons, but she must know the reasons. Be firm and do not give up an inch, because that can cost you a mile and a heartache. My husband and I find ourselves in a horrible spot, he loves his Dad and his parents are still married. His father never does anything that would "upset" his mother. This is so absurd! If you need more help there are substance abuse counselors that will help you have an "Intervention" which is a confrontation with family and friends to help the "subject" realize how much they will have to lose on the path that they are on. There is help out there, I have read that if you have to the local emergency room can direct you and your family to assistance. My prayers and heart go out to you and your family.
Annette
2007-08-13 09:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by lanceannette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to be the one to tell her not stay. He should also put his foot down about coming over whenever she feels like it. She should let you know in advance. Let her know the reasons and tell her that it is because of the alcohol. Don't do the "We'll let you live here until you find a place, or get cleaned up" thing. She will never leave. Unfortunately she will have to hit rock bottom before she can move up. It will have to be her choice to clean up. Maybe she and her friend can find a bigger place to live and split the cost.
2007-08-10 04:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by bronzeartist00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would together with my husband tell her point blank have all her things that she left at your home packed up nicely in box & or boxes and give her a ride to her trailer bringing her things back over there. I would let her know you noticed she left them at your house and you are returning them as you have no room to store her things. If she can not get the message I would just say your not moving in with us. End of story. I don't know how old she is but if her son is married she should have her act together by now.
2007-08-10 06:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her apartment hunting, if she has a job, look for one that is walking distance from her job!!!! You just tell her that YOU dont want her living in such a run down trailer, and that she deserves a nice clean apartment, and dont even bring up the idea of her living with you!!!!!! dont speak of it, dont bring it up, and it wont be an option. You take the steps to get her living somwhere else.....
search the paper for a roomate for her if she needs one....
wow, good luck with that!
2007-08-10 03:43:00 · answer #5 · answered by cutiepie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, your husband seems to forget which you 2 are married now and have your individual lives to stay. it form of appears like he's identifying on his mom over you. so which you would be able to desire to tell him that it somewhat is out of the question to have her stay with you 2. you already comprehend how she is and how evil she would be and that's no longer healthful for a marriage. she will smash your marriage to products. you are able to no longer enable him try this even whether it somewhat is his very own mom. You and your husband are no longer to blame for her in the way she lives, she delivered those problems on her very own. She is an grownup now and he or she will make her egocentric judgements without you 2. she is going to be who she is with being disrespectful to you no count what. Plus, no longer purely will she disrespect you, yet she will disrespect her son besides. there is just one way that would end her from moving in. You tell him that if she strikes in, you're moving out. which will practice you the way lots he somewhat cares on your thoughts. it's going to be unhappy to renowned that he chosen his mom over you. yet, if he's guy adequate, he needs to have that 'returned bone' and stand up to her whether he hurts her thoughts. He needs to enable her comprehend that he's the top of the living house and desires to guard YOU from somebody like her. If he does those issues, then he's a real guy. If no longer, you married a girlie guy. Sorry to assert.
2016-10-09 22:21:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you and your husband tell her that there is not room for her in your home and help her find a place to live? It would be a good idea not to be at home when she comes to the door.
2007-08-10 03:54:11 · answer #7 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Retirement home, here we come........
I apologize if it sounds like I'm making light of it but it sounds like the best choice for your family......I know alot of ppl have torn when it comes to making that decision but it sounds like she needs professional attention and they cant possibly treat her any worse than she would apparently treat you guys.....At the very least it would get her out of that condemned trailer and into better living quarters.....And in the right "center" she could probably get the cousuling she needs.....I hope I didnt offend just trying to offer condolenses and prayers and I hope everything works out for you and your family
2007-08-10 03:52:04 · answer #8 · answered by Saiyanman3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that she needs to remove her stuff. Make sure she understand that she is not moving in with you. If she starts with the harsh things tell her she has to leave. Tell her she needs help and counselling. Try to get her that help. Be firm.
Good luck
2007-08-10 03:41:41 · answer #9 · answered by foxandthehound 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you can let her know you'll give her the newspaper every day so she can find a suitable apartment... and you can also give her phone numbers to the housing authorities to see if she qualifies for low rent units?
let her know she can't move in, point blank.... let her know that she and you need your privacy... and you don't have the room, time or patience for a houseguest. and that you don't like drinking in your home, etc.
and whatever else.... because she needs to know the truth....
2007-08-10 03:54:31 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋