Only in America ...... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink !
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America.......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America.......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America....do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Greek meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER!
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline!
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Now that you've smiled at least once, give me a star!
2007-08-10 03:18:46 · 15 answers · asked by myturn 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
finally a good clean funny joke! hard to find something like that in all this crap sometimes! Enjoy the star and keep up the good work!!
2007-08-10 04:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only in america we created the light bulb the car the tv video games in only america we where the first to the moon only in america we win every war ONLY IN FŪCKING AMERICA dįćk face
2016-04-01 09:30:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha.......... that is true
this one for you
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!!!!!
2007-08-10 04:05:32 · answer #3 · answered by Memo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Those were actually worth reading! Congrats!
Only in America do schools feed students pizza everyday & complain about their kids' obesity.
Why do we drive in parkways & park in driveways?
Why did Sally sell seashells by the sea shore when you could just pick one up?
2007-08-10 03:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by coconut 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is real true. this got me think. by the way how do they know what a mouse tastes like
2007-08-10 06:51:33 · answer #5 · answered by tvngray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these really do make you think i have not ever really thought about and when i did i gave a little giggle and that says alot seeing as im at work
2007-08-10 03:28:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good
2007-08-10 04:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by Bev B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some very good points
2007-08-10 03:31:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very interesting... star for you!
2007-08-10 06:54:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those are hilarious! I love them! STAR!
~Candice~
2007-08-10 05:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by Candice 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋