i met this guy in italy last month, an american guy, and we decided to be friends but more than friends with the understanding that we couldnt be together when i'm back in the states. kind of messy, i know. anyways, i've been a total disaster since i've gotten back... because i think i love him and i hate that he'll have all these girlfriends in italy while i'm gone. i wrote him an email when i got back to the states and told him i was coming up to italy in december. his sister wrote back and told me that he wanted her to check his email for him cause he doesn't have internet access at home, but that he would write me himself when he got to the states on monday to visit his family. instead, he wrote me the very next day. he told me he was doing well, we'd see eachother in the winter, and to respond. i felt like crap when i read it because it was so formal compared to what i wrote him and i had no idea why. so i wrote back and now, he hasn't written me in almost a week.
1. why was his email so formal like that? why/ how did he write back the very next day with no internet access?
2. why hasn't he written back to me yet? he told me to respond, so im really confused.
3. do you think he's avoiding my email and won't write back? why?
4. should i tell him how i feel when i go up there in december?
5. should i even go up there in december? what if he has a girlfriend?
6. how do i give up and move on..even if i don't want to and i care this much?
2007-08-10 02:55:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like he is keeping his options open, exploring what else is out there and he doesn't want to settle with just one person right now. Keep dating others, don't wait around for him. Whats meant to be will be..
2007-08-10 03:00:36 · answer #1 · answered by Chelley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.) His email may havebeen formal b/c now he's not sure how you feel since you mad e a previous agreement. Also, he may not have had internet access where he was, but perhaps he got back (or maybe using his sister as a sheild since he didn't want to write back right away=not good for your chances, that is btw a very unusual situation where a guy would let his sister write his email for him especially about a girl. ).
2.)I'm thinking he's probably not interested, OR he really doesn't have internet access at this time. Maybe he's thinking you two moved too fast and he's just not into a relationship right now.
3.) It's very possible that he's avoiding your email, b/c he maybe having second thoughts about the prediacment.
4.) You most certainly should tell him exactly how your feeling. B/c it's tearing you up inside now. You need to let it out.
5.) Yes you should go up there in Decemeber, if he has a girlfriend already then it'll definately give you closure if nothing else. And if he doesn't you guys can talk face to face about your relationship as of that point.
6.) Time will be the best remedy. It'll hurt, and burn like hell, but sometimes the best thing to do is put it aside and start looking for someone else. No one wants to let go of a relationship that they love and it hurts when you care and someone doesn't, but you have to do what is healthy for you. And if he isn't the one right now. You gotta roll with it.
I had that happen at a summer camp, the same kind of ordeal and it hurt like mad when I found out he was just playing me for an idiot. (not returning emails etc.) But the best thing i did was casually start exploring other options and as it turns out, I found a wonderful wonderful man right under my nose that I'd known forever and he just suddenly rescued me and helped me pick myself back up and get over a lot of the hurt.
Try to do the same thing, and talk with your friends. They could be a great support group for you. Don't give up on him yet though and definately go to visit him, if only to spill out your heart, if he's no longer interested he'll let you know.
2007-08-10 03:08:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your emotions are running amok because of the intensity of what you're feeling, and it's causing you to over-analyze every facet of interactions with him. I can relate and empathize but you've got to calm down a bit. However wise or unwise pursuing such a limited relationship might be from the outset, you've already committed yourself to a course of action that you might as well see through to its natural evolution. It's a challenge for sure, but what you stand to gain from it (in view of your obvious emotional attachment) is as significant, if not moreso, than what you stand to lose should the relationship collapse under the strain of distance and infrequent contact. Try to make your peace with that and enjoy it for what it is. You've already been enriched by the experience as evidenced by your vivid descriptions and the impact its had on you. I suspect this will be a pivotal point in your development and a memory you'll treasure for the rest of your life. Build a memory you can live with and be proud of. Good luck to you.
2007-08-10 03:10:24 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) he was trying to impress u. maybe he went to his sisters house.
2) maybe he's busy w/ work. or hasnt checked his email yet.
3) no.
4) YES!
5) YES! if he has a gf, he shouldnt have led u on and he's a JERK!
6) if God meant it to be, it will be, but if not, theres a man who loves u out there somewhere and ull find him dont worry.
good luck
2007-08-10 03:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's been flirting with you ,a guy who loves a woman shouldn't have any girl friends.
You're not even from the same place and you don't live close by ,so why bother and hurt .Find some one close by to be with in stead of turturing your self like that.
2007-08-10 03:03:06 · answer #5 · answered by noona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gotta love these long distance relationships....
Why do people start them, only to turn around and complain about ALL the problems that come up BECAUSE of the distance?
Girlfriend, you have to make your life easier than this.
Lordy...
2007-08-10 03:01:26 · answer #6 · answered by Joe G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's with his family and your a chick he just met. Give it time. Odds are he's bangin another girl anyway so find another guy and get over it.
2007-08-10 02:59:33 · answer #7 · answered by carpdog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being givin the "Italian Job"!!
It's an old trick they use and sometimes it's called "Ditching The Dodo"!!
2007-08-10 03:00:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
calm down..the excitement fromt he trip is getting to you in a few weeks you will realize it was..a fling.
2007-08-10 02:59:56 · answer #9 · answered by ~ ♥ ~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon you was a holiday fling..... nothing more nothing less............he romanced you won your heart and when you left he was out looking for another ..... as harsh as this is it is so true..............
2007-08-10 03:01:37 · answer #10 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋