steps to getting rid of bitterness as a Christian?

Question

as a nice Christian I have struggled with hidden bitterness for years. but lately it has begun to surface and people are noticing. what steps can I take to get rid of inner bitterness and anger about people (especially regarding offences and disappointments)? if I have bitterness does that mean I have unresolved unforgiveness?

thankyou, i appreciate the advice & prayres.

Answer 1

Ask yourself this : Did you embrace Christianity because you thought you would shed the bitterness?

If so, what does that say about Christianity?

Answer 2

You might want to talk to a Pastor or a Christian counselor to get some help with your problem. Forgiveness is a choice and bitterness can be done away with when you start applying God's truth to your past and your present.

For instance when you consider that people who have done you wrong may have been separated from God's love and they were slaves to 'sin and the "god" of this world' and were acting in ignorance and reacting to things that they were suffering from, then you can start to feel sorry for them instead of holding what they did against you.

When you realize that people are not in control of your destiny and that the almighty God of Heaven and earth loves you and wants you to enjoy peace and love and to be fruitful in your Christian life and that He can make a way where there is no way so that you have a bright future then you can let go of bitter thoughts that tell you that your life has been sabotaged by other people and therefore it's going to be less than it could be if they hadn't done what they did.

Answer 3

As a Christian myself I can tell you that it is ok to struggle through normal life stuff like this. It does not mean that you are a bad person or that you are not saved.

We all have areas in our life that need to be worked on. I figure I will still be trying to improve myself until the day I die, lol. Life is a continuous journey. And, through life there will always be hurts, pains and disappointments.

I too have been extremely hurt in the past. . .I survived an abusive marriage. I can tell you that even when I got out of the situation my hurt, my anger and my hatered for the ex and what he had done to me began to fill my everyday. I was losing my joy and when we lose our joy we lose our strength and it begins to show in every aspect of our lives.

I began looking into my life. . .pulling back the pieces that were a bit hard to look at. . .I found that my bitterness was not just with the ex, but with myself as well. I let it go and dear sometimes that is all we can do. When you recognize what it is that is eating at your heart you can make the conscience decision to let it go. . .it doesn't happen over night, but it can happen. Living with bitterness only causes YOU to live the defeated life. And, we were not placed on this earth to live defeated, but to live victourously.

I pray with you this morning that you will have the courage to look deep within your heart and recognize what it is that is stealing your joy and that you will have the courage to simply let it go. : )

Answer 4

It is unforgiveness. This is something that requires more than an easy answer. I would really recommend a sit down or two with your Pastor, to really get to the roots of it.
It IS a serious issue. One which I think we all struggled with at one time or another.
For myself, studying the fact that we are ALL equally in need of forgiveness helped me get over some problems. It is clear from the scriptures that if we would be forgiven, we must also be forgiving. Yes, it is that serious.

Answer 5

You are seeking very wise counsel.
Bitterness is the source of most anger so it really is a place to be working on in your life to resolve other issues.
The source of bitterness is usually unforgiveness because of some wrong (real or perceived)
As God forgave us through Christ so we are called to forgive others even if they have not asked for it or "earn it".
After all God showed His love for us while we were yet sinners. He didn't wait around but took the lead.(praise Him for that)
Take these things both to the Lord in prayer. And if you yourself have wronged anyone go to them and ask for their forgiveness.
All of this is part of the great healing process Christ has given us through His sacrifice on the cross.

Answer 6

Think about all the things God has seen and
been frustrated about, yet He still answers
when we call out to Him!
The best way is to be thankful always.
After a while, you won't have time to
be bitter for all the things you can spend
time being thankful about!
Also, we are not perfect at all,
"all have sinned and fall short
of the glory of God"
The first person born, Cain, was
a murderer, and God had some
compassion on him when he
asked for it.
That is a key to it also.

Answer 7

When God offers us forgiveness Psalm 103:12 says that he removes it as far as the east is from the west. He forgets all about it. When Satan then accuses us he can look down on us and say "what sin?" That's the kind of forgiveness it will take to get rid of bitterness. (I know it's not easy but it's the only way)

Answer 8

No one can know if you have unresolved unforgiveness or not, but as a Christian, you do need to realize that people will ALWAYS let you down, but God NEVER will. If you rely on people instead of God, you will always be disappointed.

Answer 9

Excellent question! Most people have been in your situation.

As Christians, to gain peace, we must "fill" in sin's hole with something else. And the best way to fill any hole in our lives is with the love of Jesus Christ our Savior.

How? Remember Jesus’ words, “Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they do?” Let’s apply them. Instead of harboring bitterness, pray for the person/people and situation just like He did.

For example: Say someone lied about you. First of all, you could ask for forgiveness for your own bad thoughts, and then praise God for all of His wonderful goodness to you. Then you might pray that the Lord would bless the person who has hurt you with enough blessings, joy, and excitement in their own lives so they won't have to look at anyone else’s life to "create" excitement. Also you could pray that the Lord would do things in that person's life that they would catch glimpses of Him through the love of Christians (They wouldn't have chosen to lie about you if they really KNEW Him.) so that they give their lives *completely* to Him and live in truth.

Any time you are attacked by these thoughts, put the proper focus on God—give Him full authority in your life—and give Him full control of the situation. This, in turn, will help give you the peace that He seeks to give each of us who love and live for Him.

I'm praying for peace for you. :-)

Answer 10

As helpful as I'm sure quoting scripture is to your personal issue, I'd really instead recomend that you face what's making you bitter head on. Then decide if it's really worth it to hold on to negative emotion instead of finding joy in your life.

Answer 11

Just because we're saved doesn't mean we leave humanity....

We still have feelings & emotions.

Pray about these feelings of bitterness....and slowly but surely, God will heal you of them.

I went through a bitter divorce years ago before I got saved. She still haunts me in one way or another and just wont go away.......but it is my responsibility to show the love of Christ.....as hard as that is to do sometimes. Believe me when I tell you.....this person can make the pope throw the first punch if you know what I mean.