How do you deal with a mummy's boy....?

Question

Just after a bit of advice really... I have been seeeing a lovely man for the past 7 months. He is of good heart and is a stable, intelligent man who loves me very much. He currently lives at home with his parents, where he has been all of his life. I am afraid that he will never leave this situation, for many reasons, the main one being that his mother is at home alot by herself as his father works away for so many days straight and she "babies" him to the point where he doesn't have to lift a finger!! I feel that she doesn't want him to leave home and certainly doesn't encourage him to. Both of his parents love me and want me to be a part of their sons life. I would love things to be this way but fear that it will never be. They both know that the way they treat their son is only detrimental to him in the long run (especially since he has no idea of "living in the real world" etc), but don't change anything. How should I deal with this situation.

Answer 1

My dear smart lady,

You appear to be an intelligent, smart, lovable girl, if not, why should the man you love and his parents love you? and wish that you should be part of their (life) son's life??

You consider that you are in a tight situation. You are not.!

Only you need to understand yourself and consider what you want in life with regard to marriage and family life. Secondly, work out on paper why you want him to leave his parents - what to do you gain by that. And what is that you are likely to lose.

Won't it be wonderful to get into the life of the one who loves so much? and very gradually, as your love for each other grow and mature, there will be many positive changes. And these changes would be admired, appreciated and will last long rather than the one that you are planning.

Because aiming for an instant change, that is, changing the person (like turning a page of a book) is'nt possible and even if changes are made, it would'nt last long. It may lead to rifts, conflicts, disappointments and total unpleasentness in the lives of all the members of your family aswell as theirs .

Well, I must give credit to the person from whom I learnt all these, (please visit www.contactacounselor.com) I am simply grateful to this graceful, gentle and learned lady for teachig and helping me in many ways.

Answer 2

regrettably no you may replace a mummies boy, yet it somewhat is down precise impolite to assert you aint a factor of his relatives. It sounds like is mum has a situation with you and that i do no longer think of it somewhat is ever going to alter. What if his mum gave him an ultimatum and says that's the two you or her, he's going to choose for his mum. wish this facilitates a litlle

Answer 3

I understand that the situation is a bit threatening in your point of view.But why not try looking at it positively.You will have a large family around you to support you when you startyour life with him...this is in case he opts to stay with his parents.
Just give time to see how well hings are going then decide.I would consider waiting, to see if everything goes well and then decide

Answer 4

kick his little ass...nothing can be changed without his own consent.so the job is up to your guy, not you. all you can do is to put him in a certain situation where he would have to choose between you and his mother. risky business (i know) but the counterpart if you really care is living with him and with his parents between the 2 of you (nightmare)...

Answer 5

Maybe ask her straight out whether she wants him to ever grow up?
It's drastic, but might resolve the situation one way or another.
Otherwise you're just wasting your time.

Answer 6

you'll never win this one unless he decides to take a stand against his mother. The only way you deal with this is move away.

Answer 7

there's no "dealing " with this situation...mom has her little boy right where she wants him and furthermore, he is quite comfortable.