If you are over 18 do you have the right to blame your parents for some of your shortcomings?

Question

such as feeling abandoned, or feeling as if they did not want you around, or being a drug user etc.

Answer 1

wow thats a hard question. Instinctly I said no then I read the question again and said yes. Im curious to see the answers.

Answer 2

I had a bad childhood due to my mother being a heavy drinker and I sacrificed a lot to help my dad when she was really bad. I dropped out of uni to look after her whilst she went crazy because dad was working and the money was needed to pay the bills. I do partly blame her because I felt at the time I didn't really have a choice but now, at 26, I stopped blaming them and got on the career ladder and started working hard. It does not matter what happened in the past, I have got a job and am proving that I can learn fast and work my way to the top. There is no point blaming her because I will only end up full of resentment and hostility. may as well get on with my life and make a family of my own. This is my life and I am going to do my best to be the complete opposite of my so called mother.

Answer 3

What you are at 18' depends mostly on how your under 18 starting from 1' was which was determined by your parents. You have all the right to blame it on them but what the use as it changes nothing. Better stand to change your shortcomings and strive for a bright future once you realize.

Answer 4

If a human being is old enough to take responsibility for their positive choices in life they are also old enough to take responsibility for their negative choices as well...and that means consequences. That is what maturity and growing forward is all about. Human beings are very intelligent ...we begin to learn this during our childhood with the help of teachers including our parents.

Responsibility and self-control is something most parents teach their sons and daughters although often irresponsibly overlooked but definitely not rewarding for self to deny when it comes to being a son or daughter. That is why parents discipline their children as well as take them out to eat, support their good qualities, give them hugs etc....aka a parent's job and relationship to their son(s) and/or daughter(s). If U found your parents disapproving of negative behavior U are blessed with parents that care about U and is the opposite of abandonment. Be very careful that U understand that word.

Abandonment is leaving a child in a dumpster to die or comparable forms of that action that are obvious and stick out like a sore thumb. Not so if truth is missing. Just remember that life cannot be changed by verbally misrepresenting it and many people sadly resort to dishonesty so they don't have to look at their present however, hurting themselves and their family instead of doing what is much easier and much more responsible. Then the world also consists of real child abusers and ALSO emotional abusers who tell children they are not responsible for their actions. Those are the birds you don't *feed* and so go on with your life in a productive manner and let them scrounge for their food elsewhere - trust me they won't starve and most importantly neither will U because that allows a person out of the bondage of another and capable of growth unlike the bird who demands you remain weak ; )


~~~~Live Blessed

Answer 5

No you can't use that as an excuse anymore. You're an adult who has to take responsiblity for your life and your actions. If you know your shortcomings then work to change them. Blaming your parents will only hurt you and keep you from living a happy and successful life.

Answer 6

I don't think you can blame them if ou take drugs. Well not diretly anyway. That is your choice. I have abandonment issues and very low self esteem that has links to my upbringing and blame my mum for the way i was raised but on the other hand she suffered from mental illness and addictions. so in answer to your question, i don't know. You can blame them for somethings but there comes a point were you have to take responsibility for your self and your choices. xxx

Answer 7

Some of the answers on here shocked me. Apparently if you turn out well then that's all down to your parents raising you well, but if it goes wrong then you made your own decisions and you shouldn't blame anyone but yourself. What a load of cr*p. Truth is, if it's truly they're fault (i.e. your shortcomings are connected to your parents and how they treated you) then of course you have the right to blame them, although I wouldn't stick it in their face if they tried they're best lol. They're your parents, not a god who you have to respect whatever they do to you and can never question.

Answer 8

To some extent you have the right to blame your folks for some of your shortcomings, but now that you are 18 you can make choices to better your life. Learn from your past, and use what you've learned from your past to better your future. You can only get stronger by past mistakes, even parents aren't perfect. Learn to love yourself, and surround yourself by positive people. THERE ARE WORST THINGS OUT THERE, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, and you are lucky you still have the chance to better yourself.

Answer 9

this is a hard one ,but yes you can blame them to a point.But Its better to try to find the positives that you got from any given situation rather than just blame. which tends to hold them wholly responsible,
ask yourself if you learned any valuable lessons as a result of their actions .such as learning to be more independent.
learning what not to do when you have kids of your own.

Answer 10

That boarder line reflects marginal areas of your life, and regardless of if they abandoned you( r just got sick of your problem) Parents like anyone else get tired of dealing with kids, relatives, it's not meant to break you, rather that they get exausted of having to care for you for what 18 years. That is enough sentence for anybody. And if you were on drugs why would you be with them, if you can afford drugs, you can afford your own dang place. What is up with you? I'd be tired of you too.

Answer 11

You can, but then again, once you reach 18, you should begin to take responsibility for your own actions. When you become an adult, you are your own person and you can't allow the events of the past to shadow your whole life. If you do, you'll never move on.

It's easy to assign blame but if you wallow in it, you won't do yourself any favours.