My boyfriend & I have been dating for a year now, we have been great except for the fact that he loves girls. He was 20 when he lost his virginity (not to mention I was his first serious girlfriend) so he relied on porn a lot. he always looks at porn in front of me & comment on how sexy the girls are, wants to go to the strip club all the time, & watches videos/movies with hot girls, even brings up bring bringing another girl into bed w/ us. I have taken up pole dancing classes in hopes he will give me more attention. I only get to see him on the weekends and it seems like when we're together its great but when we're apart its sh!t. My self confidence is at a 0 & its gotten me really crabby I tend to snap at him a lot. I have been getting attention from other guys & for a moment it feels good & I wish that my bf would treat me like that again. I am not sure what to do, I love him & want to spend the rest of my life with him so I just don't know if im the one that needs help or he is?
2007-08-09 21:32:26 · 11 answers · asked by shortblondie1120 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok well i know this sounds silly but even though your picture is soooooooooo small you look hot to me (no im not gay) just thought you could use a smile. oh and i think its he that needs the help not you.
2007-08-09 21:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by SecretSquirrel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is immature. Or maybe he doesnt feel the same way you do. You should tell him that it bothers you when he would rather go to a titty bar or watch porn than spend time with you, instead of bottling it up and then snapping at him later. Talk to him, if it doesnt get through, then you need to leave him because he needs to find out another way and talking will only hurt you in the long run. Good luck and I hope he isnt a complete idiot to throw away your relationship.
2007-08-09 22:14:33 · answer #2 · answered by rynemsweeney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one that needs help or you wouldn't be writing here. I don't mean help like a shrink, but someone to listen to you. Your BF is really a bad dude because he doesn't appreciate you. Sure the women he might see attracts him; but that is not unusual for men or even women when they see other beefy guys.
Your situation seems to be that he is bored and wants attention. I'm not sure you can help him with this and in the end he will find this out for himself. However, if he is cheating on you or not giving you what you need, you have to let him go. There are men who will love and support you after you decide that this guy is not for you.
2007-08-09 21:43:16 · answer #3 · answered by Boomer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the problem is him. However, I used to do that alot with my gf too. i used to comment on how hott other girls are, and I didnt do it to bring her confidence down...its just how I expres myself. But in return I would ask her what kind of guy she thought would be hot and then we would end up joking about it for hours. In a way if hes not giving you the attention then hes not worth it, and you should maybe take a break. probably going to be the advice many ppl will give you but I cant see anything else.
2007-08-09 21:38:09 · answer #4 · answered by cky397 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay so far we have one person telling you to dump him... let me give you more of a description why before I agree with them.
The two of you sound very different from one another. He is into more of a swinger lifestyle, and you sound a bit more conservative. The thought of bringing another girl into bed with you has obviously angered you.
While you do love him and feel that you could spend the rest of your life with him, you two will not be with each other happily if you can't fulfill each other's needs. You have affection needs, and he has fantasy needs.
It's not that you or him needs help, its that you need your needs fulfilled. While a counselor can point out your problems, its up to you and him to decide what to do with them. Fulfill the gaps, or create a bigger gap by leaving each other.
2007-08-09 21:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by untamed_soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont dump him...my bf is the same way....i freaked out when i found out about the porn and all that stuff...just tell him you dont like it when he watches that stuff in front of you or says that kind of stuff in front of you...telll him he either shows you sum respect or your outta there....and thats what i did and my bf is doing very good on saying and watching certain things in front of me...and i feel better about my self and now i know he actually cares...well good luck
2007-08-09 21:39:41 · answer #6 · answered by liz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is us da women always 2 attracted 2 jerks right?
u say there are other guys who check u out , u've sacrificed alot and really tried to work it out but he's not willing, so why stick around?
he just takes u 4 granted!!!
2007-08-09 22:03:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's going through a phase. Don't let it bother you. Have sex with him a lot. It will pass.
2007-08-09 21:36:16 · answer #8 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him
2007-08-09 21:38:20 · answer #9 · answered by SweetBrunette 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should tell him how you feel and hope he understands
2007-08-09 21:38:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋