i have a friend that met a guy online about 3 months ago. she had just joined a black website community (i wont say which one) but she met him her first day there. they have chatted online everyday since then and she says she really likes him. they even now end each conversation with "i love you ".
now here's where it gets tricky.
my friend has a lot of self esteem issues that evolved from bad relationships where she doesn't too much like herself, and how she looks. i personally thinks she's beautiful, and so do all the guys who constantly hit on her. anywho, she says she really wants to meet her "online lover" face to face, and he is dying to spend time with her also. but she lied when she first met him. she used a picture of her sister on her profile, and they look nothing alike. she said the guy constantly tells her that she is beautiful... but it's not her he's looking at. so now she's scared of what he may say when he sees the real her.
what advice can i give
2007-08-09 19:29:29 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ps... this is really not me for all those who may think it is. it's my friend and she asked me for some advice on how to deal with this situation.... but i really don't know what to tell her. so i'm coming to y'all.
she says she really does love this guy and could see herself with him for a looong time... but doesn't know how to tell him that it's not her he spends all day looking at.
so anyway, whatever advice you can give to help me help a friend is appreciated.
2007-08-09 19:31:48 · update #1
It's unfortunate that she wasn't honest from the beginning, because that's going to make it a lot more difficult to keep things going if they plan to meet in person.
Clearly, she has to tell /show him who she is before this meeting takes place; otherwise, she will continue living a virtual lie as he falls in love with it...(unless of course, he lied as well, in which case their relationship is doomed).
Regarding how she should go about it: there's not really any "good" or "easy" way to break big news to someone, especially if it might potentially ruin what they have together. But if their relationship is as solid as they say, then looks should not be the determining factor in its success. Make sense?
So be real with her...she didn't start off that well, but hopefully, if he's a good guy, he'll stick around, provided that her looks were the ONLY thing she was untruthful about...
Just tell her to be careful--it's a new relationship and everyone wants their best foot forward, but it should not be someone elses' foot...know what I'm saying?
I don't know...good luck to her!
2007-08-09 19:43:56 · answer #1 · answered by Esther O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, she should tell the truth about using her sister's picture. She should apologize, and then send a real picture of herself. If she doesn't, he will be disappointed when they meet -- not becuase there is anything wrong with how she looks, but because he is expecting something else. People like to know what to expect.
I think people can find love anywhere. Plenty of people find love online. It might be easier for someone with self-esteem problems to meet someone in a safe environment, where looks have nothing to do with the initial attraction.
2007-08-09 19:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by C S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
online is FULL of lies! just like she used a fake picture he could have used a fake picture. when you are online you can lie about anything and pretend to be anything you want to be. he could be some phsyco. take the advice from me! because i been there done that! dont let her meet that guy, and if she does make sure she has you or someone with her and make sure its in a public place. because he is still a stranger, they are saying all that lovey dovey stuff just because it sounds good, but trust me!!!!!! when they meet it will be another story..especially since she is not someone he thinks she is..and she only feels good because she has low confidence and he is feeding her all these things that sounds good so it makes her feel good..not a good idea for them to meet..well good luck!
2007-08-09 19:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by Fit 4 A King 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jus tell her to be herself and dont change who she is FOR any guy. Be who she wants to be and love herself no one can love until u love urself. And FYI i met my fiance on the internet 6 yrs ago and we have been dating for 5 yrs ...we recently got engaged in december of 06 so yes i think it can work out..its hard but it can work Hope that helps. and for the past 2 yrs we have been living together
2007-08-09 19:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah,id be scared to.fall in love online?shes losing it.all she REALLY knows is how fast he types.everything else could and probably is one big fat lie!
2007-08-09 19:39:34 · answer #5 · answered by sleepy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, wahta bad situation. i would tell her to just not go. online stuff never really works out anywayz :P
2007-08-09 19:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by PiXeL_PuNk001001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your destined to meet someone then you don't care where it is.
2007-08-09 19:41:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋