How do I handle an annoying neighbor?

Question

I have been living in my condo for about 6 months and in that time I have become acquainted with of of my neighbors. Now this lady comes over constantly several times a day, and acts like she doesn't want to leave. It has gotten to the point that when I come home from work or school, she's knocking on my door within five minutes, its like she sits in the window waiting for me to come home or something, idk. Before I can even jump in the shower, here she comes. I make excuses to get her to leave, like "I'm going to take a nap," or something, and she gives me just enough time to do what I said, and then she comes back. It's gotten to the point that when I see her coming I turn off the lights and t.v and try to hide, but she knows I'm home because she sees my car. What do I do? I don't want to hurt her feelings because I like her, but I just don't want to be bothered all day. Every 30 minutes she finds a reason to come over. Help me please.

Answer 1

Ugh, what a pain. She sounds really lonely, though. Aside from moving... you could make a date once a week (better than every day, right?) to have her over or go out with her. Next time she comes over say something like, "You're great and I feel bad that I don't have the time to really sit down with you during the week. Let's plan Sunday brunch/Tuesday dinner/whatever for some quality time."

And then make sure you introduce her to all the neighbors you can find and spread the love around.

Answer 2

Warning this is the Sneaky way of doing things.
Maybe you should start doing some really weird stuff while shes around. Start drinking, smoking some herbs, or watch some really weird stuff on tv that you don't really watch . Turn the music up real loud like you in the clubs. Remember this is only temporary.
Plan number 2 is have one of your best friends with you when she comes over, and have her be rude all the time. Your friend can assist you in making her really uncomfortable, like showing the real/fake you that comes out. Its might not work the first time but eventually it will. You won't feel that bad about it when your friend makes her feel unwelcome.
Plan 3 have a friend or a family member move in temporarily and have them start making the rules there.

Answer 3

Sometimes its hard to find the right things to do or say when you feel pestered by someone you like but has overstayed their welcome. I suggest you use the forward approach. Honesty is the best policy always. I would go visit her with a gift in hand. That will open the door to let her know you do care for her. Flowers are usually a good one to give or a plant that blooms. Be honest with her and let her know you have come over to love on her but also to share your heart with her as well. Be sure if there are people present, you do not share in front of them, and also, if their is background noise, ask that it be diminished, like the tv. She will know by those gestures that you are serious about what you want to share. Always start the conversation with positive statements. Some examples would be: complement her home; she looks lovely today; you enjoy her company; you like her input about certain things; you're glad she is your neighbor, etc. Then just tell her you want to share something with her that you hope she can grasp and understand and explain just what you feel. I am betting that she is one lonely person to want so much company from someone. She may also have had a friend that she once new that has passed away and you remind her of that person. That is a good topic for the conversation as well. People that need to be around others so much as she seems to with you are just plain lonely for companionship. Maybe you can find out some things about her, like if she is living alone, a widow, children grown and gone, etc. before you go and visit her about this situation. If you better know something about her, then you can more easily understand why she comes so often and maybe even help her find other outreaches for her needs besides your place. Be sure to leave the conversation in an upbeat tone and with some positive ideas for when you two can get together and how often. If both of you have computers, I suggest exchanging email addresses. Sometimes when people that are lonely can write you, it helps them. You don't have to answer all of the ones she writes and let her know that you may not. But you can combine a few of them and send her a note every so often. Scripture says, "When I was lonely, you visited me." God will bless you for blessing her.

Answer 4

It may be tough for her to hear but for the sake of your privacy and maintaining your sanity I think it is imperative that you and her have a heart to heart. Let her know that you don't mind her coming over every once in a while but that it's getting a little out of hand, and ask her if she understands. If she's gets the message and understands where you're coming from then great. If not, that's a shame but you will have done what was necessary to preserve your right to privacy and there for shouldn't feel real guilty if she chooses never to speak to you again. Good luck in what ever you decide to do.

Answer 5

Oh I feel so sorry for you. I have been in a similar situation and believe me its neither easy or nice to deal with. Because on one hand you like the person, they are nice bit on the other hand you can't have a minute to yourself and its not fair.

You need to be firm with this person and when you open the door, say "look I'm really sorry but I'm really busy at the moment and I don't have time to chat. maybe later ok."
Then continue walking to you door reapeating "I'm sorry but I'm very busy, maybe later."

If she asks you for a time, say "I'm not sure, I'll vist you when I'M free"
Don't let her in your home, don't give her a chance to come in.
If she does come over waanting to borrow this be firm with her and say wait here, I'll get it for you and close the door whilst you do this. When you return go here you go, I'm sorry I'm in the middle of something so I'll let you get bakc to it. have a good night/day bye" close door.


I really do wish you the best. Remember be firm, this is YOUR HOUSE we're talking about and YOUR TIME and YOUR PRIVACY. ITS YOUR RIGHT WHO AND WHEN YOU WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE.
Good luck

Answer 6

I think the best way to handle this is to be honest with her and tell her how you feel. You should tell her that while you enjoy her company, you need time for yourself; and if she wants to visit then she should ask in advance.

You should tell her that you might be wanting to do private or personal things, that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing in front of others. Tell her that if she wants your friendship to last she will need to respect you by giving you the courtesy of privacy.

Make sure you're assertive and clear so that you don't have to do this twice!

Answer 7

She's a pyscho, man. Oh, come on, every 30 mins is too much. you need your privacy n space. Just tell her straight that you're busy n that's she disturbing your peace. Be prepared to annoy her.

Answer 8

Why are you letting her in??

Tell her to her face, 'these visits are too much, please leave me alone' and shut the door.

What she is doing is way beyond friendship, its a cloying, needy behaviour.

She has problems that are not yours and you are not responsible for her happiness.

Stop being a wimp.

Answer 9

Are you serious....be honest, I know you said you don't want to hurt her feelings but who the FcK cares. People like that need you to be blunt and honest, to understand what you mean and if it hurts their feelings that's too damn bad. I think what you are describing is crazy. Tell her to fck off!!!