Why do people say that suicide is selfish?

Question

When people commit suicide, its only because their life up to that point felt worse to them than dying. Isn't it the ones that say suicide is selfish really the selfish ones because they expect someone whose life is so miserable they would rather die to stick around just so other people can still have them around?

Ok so with that in mind the question is: Do people have the right not to live?

Answer 1

I've been suicidal and I've overdosed with the expectation that I would die. I was not being selfish at the time. I was sick with Bi-polar and pretty much in a confused state.

I get very angry when people have told me that it was a selfish thing I tried to do. Most people that want to die from suicide are either very ill, (like in my case), or very desperate - often because those around them have let them down! The living are often the selfish and not the person who wants to die!

People don't just wake up and say - I want to die today. Its usually the result of years and years of hurts (done to them by selfish people).

When this subject comes up now I tend to ask people this question: "What have you done to someone that might have added to the burden in their life that may one day turn to suicide"

We are all guilty of hurting each other at times - lets no all be guilty of judging those that choose to end their lives.

Thanks for asking this question.

Answer 2

This is a really difficult question for me. My brothers best friend committed suicide about 10 years ago and my brother still has trouble talking about him. They had been friends since kindergarten and I had known him since birth so he was much like a brother to me. I guess the reason people sometimes feel it is selfish is dependant on how and why it was done. None of us harbour any anger towards him, but at the same time we wish he had come to us and let us know that something was wrong. Perhaps there was a chance that we could have done something. I hate to think that someone is suffering alone unnecessarily when I could have been there for them on some level. He left no note, and that left us all with questions as to what we did to fail him. We feel angry that we were never given the chance to even try to help. There was no indication that he was depressed.
I think that the one part I did find selfish is that he left it for his grandmother to find his body and that he left no note. She could have had a heart attack or something. And by leaving no note we will forever question if there was some way we failed him.
People go through a range of feelings when they suffer a loss and it's hard to judge that if it's not a loss you have been through. I am not saying you haven't been through it, I have no idea, but it's just really difficult to imagine if you haven't.
When I even think of the burden and pain I would leave someone as innocent as my son with if I were to take this path I shudder. As a mother I do feel that I would be very selfish to take this path.
I understand what you are saying, but people can't help how they feel when they suffer a loss. If you have not suffered this kind of loss I hope you never do.
Blessings

Answer 3

But you have to consider and realize that suicidal people often genuinely believe that they are worthless and a burden upon the world. They often believe that nobody loves them, or that the world would be better off without them. Everyone might have someone who cares about them, but perhaps they don't realize it or feel they don't deserve to live. Sometimes, due to events such as abuse or death of a loved one, they might feel like there is nothing worth living for or become convinced that the whole world is terrible. Often, there will be signs that they want help, but they may not say it outright because they will be judged with things like "Oh, man up!" "Stop being selfish" or "Go ahead, you won't do it." It's a hell of a lot harder to "man up" then it sounds, and it's really something you have to experience to understand fully. A suicidal person could also argue that it is selfish to force them to stay in a world where they are so deeply unhappy that they would give anything just to leave. So is it selfish? Perhaps. But then again, aren't we all?

Answer 4

Thats two questions not one.Firstly, Suicide is selfish because of the incredible pain that is suffered by those left behind. There is ALWAYS a choice. If your life is that miserable then get help, some way, any way but get help. Believe me I have experienced first hand that pain and would have done ANYTHING to help, thankfully my loved one survived. Dont just assume people know what is happening to you, they would be horrified if they knew how bad you felt. (not necessarily meaning you personally). Secondly NO! because like it or not your life is NOT your own. You are connected to many others in many ways and like a ripple in a pond your death would spread out and affect so many others. Humans are made that way, we are not separate even if sometimes we are alone. Death is an enemy (1 Cor 15: 21, 22 and 25, 26)

Answer 5

It's selfish because it focuses completely on you & the circumstances or situation you are going through at the moment. It doesn't take into consideration the people you leave behind who will be devastated...your parents who brought you into the world & spent lots of time, money & love on you, your friends who trust in you & depend on you, your kids who will now be left with no father or mother to instruct them in life. Suicide is all about you, you, YOU! The Bible says it is appointed unto a man a time to die. We don't get to make the appointment ourself. That's something God has exclusive rights on. Another way to look at it is that if God gives you another day to live HE obviously doesn't feel your life or your being here is worthless. If HE hasn't given up on you what right do YOU have to give up on yourself? And considering that suicide is murder of ones self and therefore a sin there is no question that the person who takes his own life will not go to Heaven. Is there one so foolish as to believe that anything this earth can throw at us is going to be harder than an eternity in a real, literal burning Hell?

Answer 6

Having personally witnessed two families deal with suicide of a close family member, I can tell you this...the guilt and suffering of those left behind is tremendous. There are questions that will never be answered, and a feeling of abandonment that often does not go away. Family often feels responsible for the unresolved issues that are left behind.

Depression dumbs the mind into thinking that death is the answer. Suicide only relieves the suffering of one...it causes the suffering of many more after the fact.

Answer 7

It's selfish because of the living hell it puts your surviving loved-ones through.

One of my friends found his daughter who had just shot herself in the head in her bedroom. He had to clean up the mess - you know no one does that part for you. The police and coroner just leave and you're left there to deal with your shock, anger, grief, and body parts of someone you loved scattered about the room. I will never forget his descriptions of scraping her gray matter off of the wall and having to remove the blood-soaked mattress, knowing that was all he had left of her.

The bad part is, that's just the start of the grief. He is still tortured to this day trying to figure out what he could have done, how he could have been a better father, why he didn't see the signs and get her some help etc.

It's the most horrible selfish thing you can do to anyone in my opinion. I think I'd rather be raped, tortured and murdered than to have to deal with that for the rest of my life.

People don't have the right to die when they want to. God gave you life - figure out what you're supposed to do with it and get busy.

Answer 8

Yes. We do have the right not to live anymore. But-as a psychiatric nurse who witnessed more after affects of suicide or attempted suicides, I can tell you it's the most selfish act anyone can commit. Your problem is over. It's the loved ones left with the pain and guilt. If giving a lot of people lasting pain doesnt bother you, then no one can stop you.

Answer 9

As someone who has had a sibling commit suicide, I have to say, from my perspective, it is a pretty selfish act.
I understand the problems my brother faced, they were pretty deep. I know what he was thinking. But I also know that he didn't factor in his families pain and suffering from his act.
He wasn't unhealthy. He wasn't a lifelong sufferer of depression. He had a temporary problem and he thought about it in absolute terms.
Everyone else around him now gets to deal with his problems and he is off the hook so to speak. Thats rather selfish in my book.

Answer 10

No, we do not have the right, not to live
In your question "Why do people say that suicide is selfish? " because the person who is thinking of commit sucide is too self-centered maybe the word "I" has been use a lot in our daily life...and people are so self-centered only to think about themself rather than others + the 10 points.

Lots of answers above do not mention parents which I feel a bit sad over it...
Think of our parents, they bought us up, feed us ,educate us and give us the best out of the best. Hopefully we can be a good man/woman in the society and with this in mind even if we samsara 1000 times with your life is not able to repay their kindness .
Think of the pain in our heart, why don't you think of the pain during labour, your mother will feel the greatest pain on earth to give birth to you....and I am sure all ladies who have give birth before will experience it before.I give a solute to the ladies
Talk about hardship in life? why don't we talk about the hardship they have gone thru to bring us up to an adult?

We really need to pay back the kindness to them before thinking of killing ourself , if not we are consider selfish, and irresponsible and silly (the act is like stealing things in the supermarket and not pay money, if you are the boss of the supermarket, will you feel good if people steal from you?).....

The most sad person will be our parents, not because for our debts to them but you are their fresh and blood, every vain, every muscles, every blood flowing in your body belongs to them, without them we will not be here typing a question for everybody to answer
All the love that they have given out to us are greater than anybody else, even greater than your wife and husband.
And do we want to do this selfish act and make our parents feel sad? think again........

Hope all are satisfied with my answer.
Amitabha!