My son is 20 months old does not listen, he is constantly getting into things, breaking things I never thought could be broken, but worse is that whenever we go anywhere it turns into me chasing and yelling at him. If ANYONE but me says stop or sit down HE listens!!!!!! it is becoming so frustrating especially when we are out in public. I dont want to spank or scream any other good options. time out has been working for "the moment" and only that moment then he gets into something else!!!
2007-08-09 15:58:11 · 11 answers · asked by jackie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Your son sounds just like my daughter at that age. She got into everything, broke things I didn't think she could break and tested me every chance she got. Often she would look at me and say "NO" before I even asked her to do something. I was very frustrated. I did alot of reading and researched behavioral type books for ways to get her to listen. I finally tried a reward system. I made a chart with all the days of the week, and several little squares under each day. Every time she did what she was asked I would give her verbal praise as well as hugs and kisses. I would then let her put little stars next to the boxes on her chart. I told her that when she filled in her chart I would take her to the store and let her pick a prize. It doesn't have to be expensive, I took her to a $1.00 store and let her pick a toy. She was really happy. It will take a while, but when a child sees that behaving properly and listening will be to their benefit they eventually come around. It is very necessary to stand your ground on accepted behavior. If you make exceptions your child will quickly pick it up. It took about 2 weeks for my daughter to get used to the routine and in time she embraced it. Things improved dramatically!!! I also started doing this to establish a good tooth brushing schedule. It really worked for me, I hope you have the same results.
2007-08-09 17:31:07 · answer #1 · answered by Evie E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some good comments above. Now, what to do about it! Get "Parenting the strong-willed child" by Forehand and Long. It's very cheap (I think around $10-15 or even less on online sites). This book was written for you! It is written by prominent psychologists for parents (...at least as well as us psychologists can write in a way that is understandable :-). More importantly, this program has been empirically demonstrated to work (in other words, we've done the science and found it effective). If augmenting what you're doing with the program doesn't work, then it's time to seek out a child clinical psychologist for individualized help. Also, check out your local universities' psychology departments. Many departments with graduate programs in clinical psychology offer parenting groups through their clinical training centers. These can be great ways to get very cheap help and also get some support from other parents having the same troubles.
Best of luck!
2007-08-10 05:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by Doc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore your son and walk away when he is throwing a tantrum. You need to teach him that this is not an acceptable form of communication and you will acknowledge him only when he talks and acts like a big boy. Also, be consistent. If you discipline 10 times but don't discipline once, the lesson will be lost.
2016-04-01 08:48:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. Hang in there.
To commiserate by 26 mo kicked a 12 mo unprovoked at music class today. I had to get up and leave with my 4yo as well. It was awful, and the worst thing that has happened so far, but hey, we have another 10 months til he is 3 :)
2007-08-09 16:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by aloha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep, the twos. Well start talking to him before outings about behaving when out. Leave if he does not. Time outs are good. Get down on his level and look him in the eye and maybe even hold his hand firmly and say no. Start having some planned activities for this excess energy. I started mine in Gymnastics
2007-08-09 16:32:59 · answer #5 · answered by Done 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he obeys others, then it is you that has a problem with discipline. Try to be very consistent with punishment. And realize too that kids are kids and don't take every thing so seriously. Time out will work for some kids and situations but for others, it may require a spanking. You must be in control.
2007-08-09 16:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My daughter just got over her terrible twos (she turns 3 this Oct), and the memories (or rather nightmares!) are still fresh! Hahahaha! Anyway, the rest have given excellent advice. I wished I had found this forum earlier!
Sometimes a combination of methods are best. I did timeouts, ignoring her (she used to bang her head against the floor or wall), cane (ultimate punishment), talking to her, praising her, rewards....It all worked out well in the end. So hang in there!
2007-08-09 20:06:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey beautiful
i know a mother that was the same as you... everytime she talked to her son he never listened but when i talked to him he listened sooo fast... he i also 2 years... its not that he dosnt understand its just that you have to have some power over him.. show him that you are the parent and he is the child and he has to listen to you.. also let him know that he cant go around breaking things... its wrong !!! this child that i know also.. used to break everything he touched and touch everything weather it was his or not.... i changed that in him by talking to him about it.... letting him know that he is not supposed to do that and that he would be getting into trouble if he keeps doing it.. your son is 2 years ol then when he does something wrong he should be put i thinking time/ naughty corner for 2 mins... (the same as his age) if its not working a little longer would be fine.. if he dosnt mind the corner then something that he really really likes should get confiscated off him.. this will make him want to lsten to you...
if you want you can try telling him that if he dosnt listen to you .. your not gana listen to him.. (he might not understand it though you can try) he would want you to listen to him.. cause he might be telling you a story and he would want you to listen...
wishing you the best !!
2007-08-09 18:09:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Put everything up that you don't want him into. He's testing the water to see how far he can get with you. Just stand your ground. Rule of thumb 1 min for every year they are for time out. Good luck
2007-08-09 16:10:21 · answer #9 · answered by beach mama 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Time out doesn't work long-term for 20 month olds. Spank him.
2007-08-09 19:11:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋