I buy my son a toy every Friday do you think this is reasonable?

Question

He is my only child, If he is good all week I let him pick a toy out up to 10.00 dollars. My friend says that is way too much and I should not buy him one that often. What do you think?

Answer 1

That sounds pretty resonable...but try some other stuff. Like every week you get up to 7 points(1 point eachday)and then say you have a chart...21 points you get a BIG cookie.35 points you get 3 toys.56 points and you get a sleepover with 2 movies of your selection!!!And every week in between,he can choose from-3 cookies,1 candy bar,1 toy,and/or a little knick knack...Because after a year of being good. He will have 52 toys...dont think you wont 52 toys shooting at you!

Answer 2

I guess this depends on your income and the age of the child.

To be completely honest, it's not good to bribe your child to behave. It would be MUCH better to have your child earn rewards for their good behavior, but it should always be something special he can do with you.

I would get a jar or make a chart. Pick some things he really likes to do, and then every time he has a "good" day, he could earn a coin, a point, a star...whatever you want to use.

If he has a "bad" day, you could remove one, or just not give him the "good" reward. I would say if your child is young, don't take away. If he is old enough to go to school, take away for bad behavior.

Then each activity costs a certain amount. Your child can choose to "save" or "spend." You can also choose to make some things worth more rewards. For example, if your child picks up their toys without being told, and you are working on that skill, give him an extra reward.

Some examples could be...
5 points, go out for ice cream with Mommy
10 points, go to a movie with Daddy
15 points, go to Chuck E. Cheese with Mom and Dad
20 points, go to your favorite restaurant for dinner

This way you are still spending money, but you are spending it in a way that will help your child bond AND value his time with you. Also, you are teaching him about saving, prioritizing what is important to him, etc. If he gets 20 points, that will take nearly 3 weeks of being good, so that reward may cost you more than the $10 you are spending now, but you are actually making the reward something that your child has to attain. He also learns that once he "spends" his reward, he has to start all over.

Obviously you would change the rewards and the "prizes" based on the age of your child, but it works with kids of all ages. I do think it's a really bad idea to just buy your son toys rather than use the opportunity to teach him about how his good decisions (his behavior) can get him good rewards. Use things that he really likes, and it will work like magic! It will also be good for you to spend time with him rewarding him for his good behavior.

Answer 3

Well if you keep that up, you'll have a nice happy child (but he may get spoiled). Having a happy child=less fuss. But this could be bad. With all those toys, it can cause clutter and when they grow old for the toy or they stop using it, they just keep it laying around. I guess the idea isn't too bad but maybe have little drawers and use flash cards to label them. Like a card with Ball and a picture of a ball on it. You just tape it on the front of the drawer so he knows where to find it and where to put it back.

Answer 4

Every mother has their own rules but I myself feel that you are setting your self up for a disaster.

Kids live for routines and if your child gets use to this one there may be a day that you aren't able to afford this toy that he/she is looking forward to and he is going to have a fit. With my 4 year old, I have a daily chart that we fill out at the end of the day, it consists of things like: I washed my hands before every meal, I ate all my food, I did all my chorse, homework and so on. She is earning the reward instead of being given to her and her expecting it all the time. And it is monthly not weekly that she gets this reward but only if she had/has good marks all week every week by the end of the month. And it is not always a toy. We go to the movies, we rent a movie of her choice. We go out to meal of her choice. The latest one I did with her was getting a pedicure. She thought that was the best thing in the world. To me, I would rather teach my child the value of earning something and feeling good about herself instead of just giving her everything.

Answer 5

I agree with ur friend! y do you need 2 buy something all the time?? A simple hug and kiss and words of praise should be enough. You will create a monster for life if you keep that up. Material things can never make up for pure love and appreciation form you!! Why not a special trip to the park or some of his favorite games outdoors as a reward? Seriously...save your money and most importantly DON'T do that to your child!!!!

Answer 6

You know, in past generations- until fairly recently as a matter of fact- children received toys twice a year... for their birthday and for Christmas or Chanukah. Funny how those generations grew up to be responsible, hard-working citizens- eh? NOW, we spoil our kids with too much stuff. All the time, we buy, buy, buy unnecessary toys, video games and other gizmos. The last generation and the one coming up are spoiled rotten, expecting everyone to do for them. Not all, mind you... but, the ones whose parents give them every little thing. There is no earthly reason to buy a toy every week just because he was good. Isn't he supposed to be good JUST FOR THE SAKE OF BEING GOOD, because that's what you're supposed to be????? Ridiculous

Answer 7

not only should you not buy that often, but you also don't need to spend $10 pampering a child. he will expect you to spend more and more money as he gets older. he will also begin to expect that he will always be awarded by material things. studies have shown that children who are motivated externally (by parents) constantly lose the internal motivation to accomplish goals. basically, they will begin to only perform when they think an award is coming. if they feel an award isn't coming, they won't perform. is that the precedent you want to start? it's gonna get pretty costly through high school and college trying to pay to keep him motivated.

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Answer 8

I do think that sounds like alot of toys for your house. That is 52 toys a year that you have to find a place for in your house.

If you want to do something nice for him each week, you can do it as a reward system. Set a goal for each week, for example if he is in school and they give stars out for good behavior. If he gets a star for each day of the week, then let him get the toy at the end of the week.

Or if he is at the potty training age, and he gets a set number of good days in that week, then let him get his toy.

Answer 9

What I would recommend is that you give him a few dollars at the end of the week and tell him it was because he behaved well. Perhaps take him to a dollar store to find a few cheap things and encourage him to save a couple dollars and perhaps maybe buy one of his friends a small gift so he learns to give also. Hope I helped! =]

Answer 10

Well first of all how old is your child?? My son is 6 years old and he's my only son. He gets a toy every Saturday. Me and my husband think that's reasonable.