A guy dies, and goes to Heaven. When the guy arrives in Heaven, St. Peter greets him, and says, "Come with me, and I will show you where you will be staying." St. Peter and this guy are walking along side of the golden fence of Heaven, and the guy notices many clocks on the fence. Out of curiosity, the guy asks St. Peter, "What are all these clocks for?" St. Peter smiles, "They are clocks for every person in the world," he says, "And they tick once for each time you lie. There is Mother Theresa's clock! Her clock has never ticked once. There is Abraham Lincoln's clock! His clock has only ticked twice." Again, out of curiosity, the guy asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" St. Peter calmly says, "His clock is in Jesus' office. He is using it as a fan."
2007-08-09 13:54:15 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Martin S, I have a calculator at the ready. Let's do this. I also have some snack food, so I am in for the long haul. lol.
2007-08-09 14:00:24 · update #1
Well if you start since I became a Christian about zero per year. If you go back further than that you would have to break out a calculator.
2007-08-09 13:57:40 · answer #1 · answered by Martin S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't have a source, but I remember watching a science show that said the average person is told 100 lies per day. So we all lie quite often.
2007-08-09 14:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by Caedmon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your getting Clinton confused with Bush which is the way I heard that joke A year ago.
God Bless
2007-08-09 13:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
there have actually been studies on this..and i believe the avg person lies 60+times a day. Something like that
I dont though. I just keep my mouth shut :)
thats an old joke though...only change was Clinton. At least he lied about blow jobs and not wmd!
2007-08-09 13:58:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well....I recently was studied by the Harvard science department and it was proven I lie 4569 times a nanosecond...pretty cool, isn't it?
2007-08-09 14:00:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tell white lies if people ask me if they look fat, etc. That is it.
I probably do that 2 times a month.
2007-08-09 14:02:45 · answer #6 · answered by batgirl2good 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I imagine Dubya's a helicopter rotor.
2007-08-09 13:59:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
lmfao********** I would put Bush in Bill Clintons place
I think i lie once a day? maybe more
but there all small white lies so yea nothing huge
2007-08-09 13:57:53 · answer #8 · answered by hUMOR*mE 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that number is in direct relation to the number of times i am asked
"does this make me look fat?"
2007-08-09 14:02:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, you could use any elected oficial, but it is a good joke
2007-08-09 13:58:04 · answer #10 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋