This was a best answer to a marriage question and was posted by a woman. Do women really feel it IS all about them and that it is their day with no regard for what this day means for their husband's or is this just a very selfish statement by a soon to be divorced person?
2007-08-09 12:35:26 · 26 answers · asked by bullheadbrawlers2004 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i think if a groom wants to get involved in the wedding planning, he should. but more often than not, men do not care about color schemes and where to the flowers go. they tend to put up with our silliness because they want us to be happy. :P the same way we put up with your car talk and we really do not understand :P
2007-08-09 12:40:45 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I certainly didn't feel that way. Alas, once a couple points were covered, my husband seemed to feel it was. I wish he'd been more willing to give me some input, because the only thing that would have made me happier on my wedding day would have been to know that we'd created it together rather than having to try to read his mind about things. I wanted the day to reflect both of us equally.
His first wife basically just told him when and where to show up...and they were divorced less than a year later.
I wanted it to be about us and not just me. Well, it wound up being more about me - though not for lack of trying - and we're still happily married fourteen years later.
But I do wish my guy had been willing to be part of the planning like several of the guys I've known. BTW, the marriages where the guys took part in the planning? Pretty much all of those couples are still together, too.
Teamwork and learning to compromise are good for marriages.
2007-08-09 19:47:48 · answer #2 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mature, sensible women do not feel this way. The wedding is for the couple, however, most guys aren't into planning and such, so often the woman does the bulk of that - however, with input, consultations and decisions with the man she is marrying. We did our best to host a lovely traditional wedding for our guests to enjoy. No selfishness, no bridezilla -- no immaturity or selfishness. Yes, marriage is wonderful!
2007-08-10 08:43:24 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly don't feel that way at all, the wedding day is about the bride AND groom, and I have been lucky in that my groom has actively been involved in the planning and decision making and ideas, it is certainly not me that will be the main focus of the day. A lot of guys are not interested and do leave the plans up to the bride and that's fair enough, but the day is still about the couple.
2007-08-13 08:46:48 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, YES, YES it sure the heck seems they do. My son's wedding was a miserable experience for him and most everyone else except the bride and her mother. Talk about bridezilla!! My son would voice his opinion but it didn't matter in the least. After viewing this site I am appalled at the number of selfish, controlling, self centered, disrespectful women out there.
Thank goodness I was young when I married 30 years ago. Between my mom and my mother-in-law they pretty much handled things for us. Of course we did have say in what we wanted as a couple. It was an extremely wonderful relaxed time.
2007-08-10 12:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by proud grandma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the complete opposite. I believe that our wedding should represent the both of us as a couple and that can only happen if both bride and groom are actively involved in the planning.
My fiance and I are social people who like to have dinner parties often. So when it comes to our wedding, we care if it goes off well and everyone is having a good time. I think people get so caught up in "it's MY wedding, who cares what other people think", that they forget they are the hosts and that their wedding reflects them as a couple. So instead of a night that honors the couple you have a night completely centered around the bride, which isn't attractive or mature.
Where did this notion come from anyway?
2007-08-09 20:34:15 · answer #6 · answered by Peace 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, that's a HUGE miscomprehension that many women on this site believe. The wedding is about everyone involved down to the guests. It really does bother me when I see those answers to the most outrageous questions. Some of these brides really do need to slow down and think about how they would feel if they were a guest at their own wedding. It also really bothers me when I see brides getting on here saying "he doesn't want to do [this] for the wedding, but I do! Any suggestions?". Umm, talk to HIM about it maybe?! But nooo. Women give that same old answer "It's YOUR wedding". No, it's THEIR wedding. I totally understand what your saying, and please know that not all of us are like this!
2007-08-10 10:30:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don’t think “some” women mean t to be that way. As I plan my wedding I try not to make it all about me. But sometimes I get a little carried away. I think women dream about this perfect day from childhood. And it might be hard to let go of your dream. When my sister got married she seems to plan everything and her husband just showed up. He didn’t even want to have a wedding, he wanted to go to a JP, and so he didn’t care about the planning. I on the other hand have a guy who wants to be on board for everything. And sometimes it gets stressing cause I might want something that I’ve been dreaming about for years, and he don’t like it. So I try and compromise. It’s not easy, because he has weird taste, he likes to party and drink and I don’t do. But I know he want me to be happy and I want him to be happy as well. So we work out whatever little kinks we may have.
Cause we have to look beyond the day.
2007-08-09 20:08:57 · answer #8 · answered by always_sweet_b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all women feel that way, but the women is usually more into it than the man. I have seen and heard of many women exactly as you described. At times it seems like that is the only reason they want to get married, to have that huge showy wedding. I'm definitely not like that. If anything I try to include my guy in all aspects of it but he just tells me to do what I like with it because he has no idea what to do. Even with that in mind, when I choose something I check to see if he likes it too. I wanted him included because it's his day too
2007-08-09 20:19:18 · answer #9 · answered by Mekana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I DO NOT think that it is all about the bride, and i'm going to be one in november....i think it's really sad when you hear of those true life "bridezilla" stories. Weddings are about the couple and their love and want to make a commitment to each other....uh, you can't make a commitment to yourself in this way- last time i knew, you need a groom!! It should be the day of BOTH parties of the couple. amen.
2007-08-09 22:05:06 · answer #10 · answered by chloe1995 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a woman and I believe it is about the marriage, not the wedding. Too many brides today have this all about me attitude. I delight in the thought of these bridezillas being left at the altar after thier poor fiancee's cant take it anymore. Then bridezilla can marry herself. It's all about her, after all.
2007-08-09 19:56:52 · answer #11 · answered by fnd40 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋