should i repremand mi child if she says swearwords?

Question

my child is 3 and she is picking up naughty words from playgroup! eg; f**k s**t c**t w**k etc... and she doesnt know what they mean. she says them in the supermarket, and its really embarrasing, especialy as i am the local vicar! what should i do? (i am seriously not joking.)

Answer 1

Children get one free pass when they don't know what the word means. However that should be enough warning to punish harshly should they ever repeat the words. In our family, it's an immediate spanking for saying "known" bad words. I suggest you find out what works for you.

Answer 2

Well you must reprimand the behaviour this will extinguish it. You could ignore when she says it but that is not working. Just make sure that the behaviour is not rewarded by anybody else, the child will continue to use it.

Explain to her about good words and bad words, reward her for all the good words she uses after that e.g words her teacher taught her. After this if she uses swear words you have to punish her, reprimand her, take away play time etc until she knows that you are serious.

Talk to the teacher and parents at school about it so that children are not exposed to this.

Remember that three year olds understand punishment and reward pretty well, put your foot down or it will be an embarrassment to your ministry if you cannot control your child but want to control a congregation. don't be afraid to be a parent, the age of the child doesn't matter you are in charge.

Pray about it too that God will give you the strength to deal with the situation and make right decision.

Answer 3

I've read SO many things that say you should NOT reprimand your child for that because it draws attention to the word and you are giving them attention for it. And children WANT attention, whether or not it is negative.

BUT. I think those things I've read are a bunch of crap.

I don't think you should just let them get away with it. If your child is that young, you should sit her aside....first ASK her where she's heard these words. (If it's from another child, maybe you could say something to that child's parents as well). Tell her that she cannot do that. Be firm and let her know that in the future, there WILL be consequences.

Maybe you take away a favorite toy. Or tell her no games/television/etc until it STOPS. Or give her a time-out every time you hear it.

Answer 4

Any normal person that sees you in the supermarket will understand completely and know that its a stage that all kids go through!! no matter what you do kids will pick these things up!

The best way to deal with this situation is to completely ignore the swear words that she says no matter what it is and where you are! as soon as you give her a row for it and make a big deal about the words she will do it even more!

She will soon learn that she gets no attension for saying these words and grow out of it!

Answer 5

Your child is wanting a reaction. Do not give him one. He will grow very bored with this soon. Alternately, try 'creating' your own swear word (one that isnt really a swear word, but you must say it out loud one day and make him think that it is really naughty and he must never say it) It works a treat.

By the way. Your answers are a little non vicar-ish

Answer 6

I would first appeal to her sense of kindness by explaining that when these words are used they can really hurt the feelings of others. It worked really well with my kids.
You are right, though, in remembering that she doesn't understand her actions, and probably not the reactions of others either!
As a member of a ministry family, it would be great if you have some outside (ie. not in your community) support, too. A good friend who was in your daughter's role growing up, was telling me how important it was for her as she grew to have a place to go where she didn't have to be perfect---or even good! She became quite a prankster and now, in her 50's has refined her skills and is a force to be reckoned with ;)
Best wishes!
afmajen (a pastor's wife)

Answer 7

My husband is a preacher too so i have the same fear, so far we haven't had the problem (yet). But i would say to her (looking her in the eyes). "Dont say 'f***' again." if she does slap her on the wrist or have time alone in her cot for 5 mins 9tell her its because she said that word) after a few times she'll get the message. We have the problem of standing in the bath and we use a slap to the wrist - first we say 'don't stand in the bath, Johnny' then if he does it again we say 'mummy said don't stand in the bath' as we slap his wrist. After 7 bath times he never stands in the bath. So i hope that helps!

remember that children at this age don't understand reasons - and can't be reasoned with. At this age they understand authority. About the age 5 - 7 is when you start giving them moral reasons behind their actions and the why of their actions. If you always give reasons it causes them to feel they can answer back, for every reason you have, they will have a counter reason!

Answer 8

First- dont make a big deal out of it. If you do, then they will know it draws attention and they will do it more often. But explain to her that those are bad words and you shouldn't say them. Give her some time and remind her when she uses them not to say them. If she doesn't stop after a few days then I would start punishing her in some way. (time out, take away a toy) And I'd think about going to a different play group if you can.

Answer 9

I have this problem occasionally with my 3 year old and all I really have to do is tell her it's a bad word and she shouldn't say it and it usually does the job. I would also consider informing the other parents of the children she's picking it up from so they can correct their children, too. If she continues using them purposely after you tell her to stop, try time out a couple times. That should do the trick!

Answer 10

First: Either get her out of play group or talk to whomever is in charge of it about the foul language. Sounds like someone needs to pay more attention to the kiddos!

Second: Even though she's 3, It would be appropriate to talk to her about the words and to let her know that are not nice words...kids that age understand more than you think. Just keep it real simple.."Sweetie "s**t " in not a nice word, so lets not say that anymore." She'll catch on quicker than you think

Answer 11

Well of course you verbally reprimand her! She's old enough to know that certain words are unacceptable! I'd seriously consider removing her from the playgroup and find another for her.