What to do in my "religiously" confused state?

Question

My family is VERY Christian. My mom's side is Southern Baptist and my dad's side is Catholic.
However I have an interest in a lot of different religions and am starting to question Christianity. It makes me feel HORRIBLE. Very, very, very, VERY bad but I cannot help it much...
And it's the things that I find my self more interested in than Christianity that make me feel this way. I'm much more curious about something on the opposite side of the spectrum- Satanism, Wicca and the like. It’s not that I want to be apart of these religions, but I find them more interesting and “attractive” for a lack of words.
Then there is a side of me that doubts any truth in religion, though this side is very small.

What should I do? My family may literally disown and forget about me if I even mention these newfound interest.

(I will prepare to be burned to the stake by some of you)

Answer 1

Different religions and philosophies fulfill different people. If Christianity doesn't make sense to you, or makes you feel miserable, I very much doubt that a truly loving God would blame you for looking elsewhere (especially since that God didn't see fit to bring Christianity to ALL people throughout history without the aid of missionaries, which to me argues that it isn't the be-all and end-all of faiths).

If you want someone to talk to about Wicca, my email is in my profile. I promise I won't try to convert you -- that's not what we're about at all -- but I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have.

You might find the Belief-O-Matic quiz over at Beliefnet.com an interesting exercise:

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

It's fun, and it matches you up with a wide variety of religions and philosophies based on your answers, with write-ups for each one. The results can be very surprising.

Blessed be, and don't stop searching until you find something that feels right and good to you, no matter where it takes you.

Answer 2

I have been in the same place. I spent quite a few years away from Christianity and leaned toward other more accepting and liberal ideas. I was also raised Baptist, and there's nothing like a 'fire and brimstone' approach to really scare the crap out of a little kid.

The thing is, Christianity doesn't really allow you to be "on the fence" about belief, and it isn't meant to be easy. If it were easy, so many would not have died horrible deaths over it! Christ Himself died a horribly painful and embarassing death.

Personally, I found that the more I looked at other religions (and, also, at the absence of religion), the more evident God seemed to me. We were given free will; in this case, exercise it. No reason to announce to your family suddenly that you no longer believe; don't make a rash announcement over something you're only questioning. Instead, do your own research, and include Christianity in that research. In the end, your decision truly affects your life and the life of those around you, and turning away from the God of your childhood is not something you should take lightly!

Answer 3

If you're still a minor, then it's probably not a good idea to buck your parents on this issue. It probably isn't even necessary to bring it up. Just keep going to church and say amen at all the right times, nobody will know the difference.

Meanwhile, you have every right to satisfy your curiousity on this (or any) subject, so go ahead and read. While I don't recommend Satanism or Wicca (sheer nonsense IMO), you could learn a lot from a history of the christian church, or Martin Luther and the Reformation, or the Inquisition or the Crusades -- fascinating stuff.

And while you're at it, read the Bible. I mean read all of it, not just the sunday school excerpts. You'll be surprised by what's really in there.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Sounds like you're thinking for yourself. LOTS of Christians question their faith, investigate, and come back to it with even more faith than before. I would suggest studying these other religions that interest you. I'm not saying practice them...just study them. People so often get the two ideas confused. Just because you're reading about Christianity or Wicca or Satanism doesn't mean you suddenly are Christian, Wiccan, or Satanic. It just means you're informing yourself.

You also may discover that some of these religions aren't nearly as far on the other end of the spectrum as you currently believe.

Answer 5

Keep thinking. Reading and talking to all. You are not alone in your questioning of Christianity. As for your interest in Satanism how can you not have the same doubts. Do you have a flair for the dramatics. I would want you to try acting in local theater first before getting into Satanism. Are you with a group? Maybe this is your real interest. If you are doing it alone without knowing anyone active in it then I would think it was a real interest on your part.

Answer 6

If Christianity makes you feel horrible, then why spend your life pretending to be something you're not? I was a lifelong Christian even though I hated it. Finally I reached a point where I had to find what was right for me, and I found it in Paganism. The best thing you can do for yourself is to question everything, read as much as you can on different religions, and for goodness sake, talk to people. Don't rely on people who know nothing about Wicca or Paganism to tell you what it is. Find some Wiccans. They will be more than happy to tell you about their spirituality and-- here's the best part -- they won't demand that you join their religion. They will understand that you are searching for your path and will validate whatever you choose. Because we all have the right to find what speaks to our heart. Good luck to you and please don't stop exploring.

Answer 7

ASK QUESTIONS. Not of your family, obviously--since you already know how they feel--but of everyone else. Read books (stay off of the internet--a good 75% of stuff you can google is flat out wrong, or at least highly suspect.) Talk to people who practice the religions you're interested in.

And don't neglect what you grew up with. There are so many points of view, and so many answers out there, if you have the courage to seek them.

Talk to atheists, too. I don't always understand them, but if you can seriously digest their arguments instead of having the knee-jerk reaction so many believers have, and still believe in any kind of higher power, then your faith is strong indeed.

Be a seeker, a knower, a questioner. The answers you find for yourself will make you so much stronger than those handed to you by some one else.

Answer 8

Just continue to be interested. There is nothing horrible about your interest.

If eventually you decide that you belong to another religion, it is nobody else's responsibility to coerce you anywhere. Only your choice, I'm afraid.

As for your family, they should not disown you. Not only would it be very selfish of them, but it would be against real Christianity. Did Jesus not forgive and love all people, unconditionally?

You are not 'evil' in any way, only a human being. Don't let anybody tell you different.

May peace go with you throughout.

Answer 9

Doing research on religion shouldnt influence your parents to disown you. I was born and raised Christian but in the Bible, things just dont add up to me. I dont believe Jesus was a real guy who healed with his hands and rose from the dead. More than 5 other religious tales had main characters who were also born to a virgin and on the 25th of Dec, had either 12 deciples or 12 brothers, who healed, walked on water or performed miracles, who were cruicifed and then resurrected 3 days later. And this was all before the Bible had come about. Questioning beliefs is healthy and if your parents (in my opinion) want to believe in something that just doesnt add up, let them. Same goes for you too but Im not trying to convert you or anything. Just think outside the box. No harm.

Answer 10

Life would be easier if all states had the same laws, but we in the US would not be able to choose places to live where others share common ideas about how to live. In other words, we'd be less free. We are a federation of states under a government. Learn to enjoy the Californians' quirkiness, the Montana folks' independence and the very family oriented people in Minnesota.