too scared to get a boyfriend? ANSWERS PLEASE?

Question

well umm, the thing is, whenever i reeeeeallly like a boy and he has the same feelings for me back, when he asks me out, i always say no! i have no idea why i do it. i think its because i feel, if i go out with this person, i HAVE to kiss them and do all sorts of stuff with them (u know wat i mean) and if i don't do it, they'll dump me. the boys are like this all the time where i come from. even if i love this person soo much, i still cant say yes. boys who i've had crushes on have asked me out numerous times and i have said no to all of them. and i feel so alone, all because i wont say yes. and even though i wanna say yes soooo much, i just cant help but say no. please help, its getting me down so much. (sorry for the spelling)

well umm, im 13 years old and the thing is, whenever i reeeeeallly like a boy and he has the same feelings for me back, when he asks me out, i always say no! i have no idea why i do it. i think its because i feel, if i go out with this person, i HAVE to kiss them and do all sorts of stuff with them (u know wat i mean) when i say this, i mean there are girls my age who aren't virgins anymore.. and if i don't do it, they'll dump me. the boys are like this all the time where i come from. even if i love this person soo much, i still cant say yes. boys who i've had crushes on have asked me out numerous times and i have said no to all of them. and i feel so alone, all because i wont say yes. and even though i wanna say yes soooo much, i just cant help but say no. please help, its getting me down so much. (sorry for the spelling)

sorry please ignore the first paragraph, i meant to write the second one

Answer 1

Well coming from a male perspective i understand. You see most guys on the earth will treat females badly, they would class them as unkindly names and cheat on them and all. Most females been through these kind of relationships and all of that to the point where they are too scared to get involved in another relationship. I am so very sorry that guys treated you baldy in the past but just remember that not all guys are the same. There are some really nice guys out there (gentleman) that can treat you good and other females as well. Like i said in the past femalse got put on this earth to be treated with respect, honesty, to be loved for and cared for. Guys should treat them like a diamond so to speak. As in other words take good care of them and give them the treatement that they deserve. So once again try to go for a differ. change in a guy. I wish you the best of what ever you do ok so you have a good one and take care of yourself.

Answer 2

From my own experience, here's what I can tell you: - he sounds genuinely busy, so he might still love you - plus, he was sweet enough to apologize and say he missed you - he'll appreciate it if you support him through his business and if you give him a little space - however don't give him too much space, or the two of you will end up drifting apart -be careful if he might just be telling you this, when really he's finding someone new - always keep in contact with him no matter how busy he is -- if he doesn't call you, you call him. it is VERY important you two don't stop talking; communication is vital! - you could talk to him about what he's busy about -- it might help him get the load off his shoulders and appreciate that you understand him - remember that being busy is never an excuse not to talk to your gf/bf - * use this as an opportunity for the two of you to get CLOSER rather than farther apart i will repeat again: NEVER LOSE COMMUNICATION. trust me, i know from experience. Good luck! =)

Answer 3

I had the same problem and that was because I didn't want to be pressured into doing things I wasn't comfortable with either. But you should take your time to initially know someone and KNOW that you will be comfortable with them alone. You should also let them know where you stand on the intimacy issue and if they stop talking to you then they're not worth it anyways because they are not respecting you and your feelings. You will find that once you are out alone with a guy and feel comfortable with him, then it is okay to do the things you are afraid of because you know he won't go too far. But make sure you talk to him on where you stand and kinda give him a warning that you don't go down like that. And hey, if you're on a date and you guys happen to make a move, and you are fine with it, then kudos to you. Sometimes I feel that it is okay to make the first move too because obviously you are into him so it saves you from the awkward hesitation of who will pull the first move.

Answer 4

Oh god.....i'm so glad not to be a teenager anymore. It all sound a bit complicated......boys will always be interested..they can't help their hormones.....chill out and just be friends if your not ready - if they really like you they will wait, but chances are they're hormones will persuade them to find a girl that is a bit more willing - that doesnt mean they will respect her (or not dump her once they've got what they want). Boys might get frustrated by girls who are not ready - but in the end these girls get the nicest boys.....

Answer 5

Say yes to going out. Doesnt mean if you go hang out with them they are your BF. Its ok to hang out with guys and have a crush on them. You dont have to get physical with them. Going out with the opposite sex is a way to know more about them. Not all guys are touchy feely type guys. If they really like you they will respect you. Also if you dont feel comfortable going alone. Do a group thing. Boy - friends are just that. Boys who are your friends.

Answer 6

Okay i get how u feel same here just you because you go out with them doesn't mean you have to like have sex with them you don't have to do anything you don't want to do if he can't accept that then he's not the right one i really think you should say yes. if you never have a bf how will you no how to act or make the right decisions if you have no experience.
*Good luck hopes this helps*

Answer 7

i am guessing you are kinda young.next time a guy asks you and you like him say yes.if he tries to do more than you want to tell him you are flattered that he asked but you aren't ready to do that.if he dumps you cos you said no to sex or whatever,then you made the right choice saying no cos he isn't worth getting bothered over.not all guys will try it on some are sweet and some who try it on accept it when you say no.there is always gonna be the ones who try to push you further than you want to go.just remember its your body and you are in charge of it so if you don't want a guy with his hand up your top or down you knickers tell him to stop.most lads will respect you.some lads only try not because they want to but oddly enough cos they think its expected.lads aren't too different from girls.there are some who want to do too much too soon and other lads with feeling like you who want to wait.be proud to be a girl who stands up for what she knows is right.good luck.email me if you want to ask more i have 3 girls aged 14 15 and 17 so i know they are going thru same as you.glad to be of help.

Answer 8

Don't go out with him if you don't feel comfortable with him. If you're telling him no, then you must have some self conscious reason why you are doing so. If you have to make out with a boy and do whatever he wants, then you DO NOT belone with them. They should respect you and your body and not obligate you to do things that you don't want to. If they can't be with you at that, then they're just players and they really don't care for you!

Answer 9

relax! lol

It sounds like you are nervous because of the pressure "being put on you". Its true, unfrotuneately, some guys are jerks, some dont care about you, they just care about your body, etc. But, some guys will not put pressure on you. It sounds like you need to give one of these guys a chance.

So next time, if u cant say yes right away, you can say "i have to think about it" and then really think if you like this guy or not and then let him know of your answer.

Good Luck!

*P*H*S*

Answer 10

You sound very young. Obviously, you aren't ready to date and you know it. That is why you are not comfortable saying yes. Try group-dating. Maybe that will ease things for you. It's not really a date that way.