My fiance left me...?

Question

I'm upset and hurting, depressed and feeling alot more.... My fiance of 9 months is taking a break from me... I'm scared our relationship is going to work out, he promised me he would never leave me and ended up doing so. I feel unwanted, hurt, used and wanting to be alone from now on. It seems thats how everything suppose to be for me, I'm not meant to be happy. He often calls me, "Stupid","hoebag", "Fatty" and alot more. I'm none of those things :(, he didn't call for a few days and I asked him why he hasn't called, he said, "I don't have feelings for you anymore". I just feel like I don't want to be here anymore. I trusted him, but It seems 9 months have gone to waste. I want things to work out with him, but it seems as if he isn't going to give any effort... I'm always going to be alone :(
I need help, how do I deal with this? (serious answers only please)

Answer 1

as much as its the most generic line in the world, everything happens for a reason... if he often called u names like that then he was a jerk and ur better off without him, NO ONE deserves to be treated like that regardless of how in love they might be... its gonna hurt bad for a while now but trust in time ya heart will heal... if u keep the mindset that ull always be alone then thats wats gonna happen... u gotta keep an open mind and stay positive because there are ppl in the world that love u ... dont let 1 jerk ruin ya life...it mite sound like a common statement by me sayin he gonna realize he ****** up but its tru.. and if he doesnt then u really didnt need to be with him in the first place... spend some time with ur family and friends til u feel better thats all the support u need for now and dont worry bout men for a while... in the end you'll find exactly what u need...keep ya head up and good luck

Answer 2

I am sorry that you are so upset and anyone would be if they were in the same position but, you need to sit back and try to analize this entire thing. You have been engaged for 9 months and maybe he got "cold feet" or felt as if he didn't know you as well as he thought he did. He may just be having doubts about making the relationship permanent and need to have this time to be sure. You wouldn't want to make a life commitment only to have this happen to you after you got married. Yes, you feel hurt, unwanted, used and very sad but, you need to try to pick yourself up and hold your head high. Calling you "stupid", "hoebag", and "fatty", among other things is not showing respect or love for you and no one deserves to be treated this way. That is not the way someone who loves you should be treating you ever. He then tells you that he doesn't have feelings for you anymore. He sounds like he is very immature and not ready for any commitment to anyone. Your heart is broken at this moment and your trust in men is shattered. I have been there before and I know how devastating it can be but, don't think that all the time you spent together has been wasted. It is a learning experience when you get together with anyone and share your most intimate times of your life. Give yourself some time to get past this pain. Go and seek professional help, if need be. You are depressed and may need some medication to help you for a little while. Please know that there is life beyond this hurt and that there will be someone who will love and appreciate you for who you are. Do not settle for anything less than respect when you are dealing with anyone who wants to be a part of your life. Maybe this time apart from him will convince him that he really does love you and you may be surprised to see that you can be OK on your own. Just give yourself some time.

Answer 3

Hey girl, you are dealing w/ a faulty guy. These types are a dime a dozen. He can only make you feel the way YOU allow him too. Reread your question, he has called you "stupid,hoebag and fatty" and he is taking a break from you? His problem> he is dysfunctional, something inside is not well and for that reason he must put you down and keep you on a string for him to make HIMSELF feel better. Your problem>No self esteem and sense of proper boundaries. So you trusted him and it didn't work out, that happens in all areas of life and is worthy of being upset over, but to give him all your power, to allow yourself to believe that you will be alone for life because you are unworthy, well that's not good self esteem, which leads us to why you allow him to call you such vile names. In a healthy relationship these things do not happen. Because you believe you are not good enough it has given him free reign to abuse you. Its tough to see when your in it, but unless YOU do the work, this relationship and any after it will be a carbon copy of what is goin on now.

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross


*Peace*

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear this me and my fiancee have had problems before too. I have to wonder though how low your self esteem is to want a guy back in your life that calls you names like fatty and hoebag. YOu can do better then that There are many more fish in the sea men that will treat you much better. Your Ex-fiancee is obviously not ready for the kind of commitment and maturity that comes with marriage. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

Hina if this fella is being so verbally abusive and mean by calling you these sorts of names prior to marriage so perhaps you should be grateful that he has left. Nobody has the right to speak to others with such hurtful words. As for being alone the rest of your life, although you may feel this way now trust me in the future another man will come along and fill that empty void you are currently experiencing. The human heart is a magnificent instrument and as such is capable of healing itself 100% after the proper amount of time allowed to grieve the loss of any important relationship that we have lost. I wish for you that you do meet someone else whom will treat you with the respect and love that we all desire from our partners. One who will be there for you whenever you need him, and you there for him also. And one who will be able to make you feel wanted needed and loved. Best of luck to you and please do not despair. Although it m may seem like a waste of 9 months, providing that you have learned a valuable lesson from it then it may prove to be the most important time of your life. Once again good luck.

Answer 6

a guy that calls u names like that and makes u feel bad about yourself isnt a guy worth marrying ..im sure u know this deep down yourself but love clouds things and makes us put up with a lot more than we should. Just think of the advice u would give a friend who was in a similar situation...you'd tell her she is worth so much more than this guy and not to put up with his sh*t anymore. You know than YOU are worth more than this too, even tho it feels like he's the only one right now, his behaviour shows that he isnt the one for you...It will take a while to get over him, i know cos ive been there, and at first it will seem like no other guy comes anywhere near to him...but time is a healer, and as the mths pass you will begin to be interested in other guys and you will move on...pls trust me

Answer 7

It seriously sound slike this bloke has done you a favour. It sounds like you are very dependent on a VERY BIG JERK OFF! He sounds selfish, you CAN do much better. In fact you should, then he'd see what a good girl he's missing out on!!!

Answer 8

I suspect he left because you have a serious case of low self esteem and he cant fix that. Only you can.

Answer 9

Be glad that the loser left. Now you can go find a better guy that will never do any of those things to you.

Answer 10

Hes a jerk and not worth it. DONT MARRY HIM! it will only get worse. If you talk it out with him and he still continues, then let him go.