Do you consider it as judging someone by saying they make excuses for every little thing?

Question

My case manager told me that because I told her that my depression & anxiety affect my performance in college. & I told her I can't concentrate when someone is popping their gum doing the middle of an exam. & she said they have every right to pop their gum since they pay their money. & I said "Well that's why I need my disability testing accommodations in a quiet area in the testing center so I can be able to concentrate better on the tests. I do have the right to receive those accommodations." & she said I was making excuses for my poor performance in school & that I should take my tests in the classroom just like everyboody else. & she says her job is to help me, but everything she tells me hurts. & she thinks I should stay in the classroom & tolerate the gum popping ignorance & distractions. & she thinks that me saying I get distracted easily is an excuse to say I can't do the work. If I push myself too hard I get an anxiety attack & have to go to the hospital which I wanna prevent.

Answer 1

Your case manager is a witch. You are not making excuses. You are telling her the things that you need accommodations for. If she can't accept what you say that you need, then she is extremely ineffective as a case manager. Does she have a qualifications to treat or identify the problems and disabilities of those whom she is managing? It does not sound as if she does. No one has the right to do anything, like popping gum, if it disturbs someone else who has also paid to go to school. Their rights END where your begin.

I wish you could get a different case manager. Is that possible?

Answer 2

It sounds like you certainly have mental health issues. I would be more focused on seeking a remedy for your depression and anxiety than on trying to rearrange your life around them. If you can't take a test in a classroom with someone popping gum, then you have to question how you will perform in a workplace. [As an aside, I must say that I can't believe that you're allowed to chew gum during an exam! That disgusting habit is not anywhere near as widespread or tolerated in Australia as in the US, thankfully. I would find that distracting just because it's so gross and inconsiderate!]

So make curing or managing your anxiety and depression your highest priority, and your second priority on arranging temporary accommodations to your situation whilst you're dealing with it.

I know that these days we expect our environment to be structured to cater for our disabilities - and to a great extent I think that's a wonderful thing - but for your own sake, it would be far preferable to get this situation under control than to spend your whole life feeling this anxious, and having to constantly struggle to manage your environment.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Anyone has the right to have an opinion about anyone or anything, and if we don't like that opinion, especially if it's about us, we may accuse them of being "judgmental". Notice that if your case manager had said a string of good things about you, I don't think you would think that this was "judgmental". Your case manager feels that you should be able to deal with the distractions "just like everybody else". This is your case manager's opinion, nothing more and nothing less. It is definitely possible that your condition could be making you EXTREMELY distractable, more so than anyone else in your class, and if that's the case, she IS judging you, possibly without realizing that she doesn't understand the nature of your condition. I would talk to your psychiatrist about this distractability, and see if he or she can help you, either by an adjusting your medication, or possibly helping you work it out so that you can take your exams in a less distracting environment.

Good luck,

Sparky

Answer 4

Your case manager needs to get a clue.

She does have a supervisor, and a boss. Chances are, you can get your case moved to a different case manager.

Have you begun by bringing in a Drs. written note (on official business letterhead paper) In brief explaining specific accomodations required, and an adequate explaination of your category of disability (they do not have to "tell all") but you want the Dr. to say enough to communicate the legitamacy of your diagnosed disability.

For example
["If I push myself too hard I get an anxiety attack & have to go to the hospital which I wanna prevent."]
This would be a "stress induced" disability

Every school has a grievance (complaint) policy and proceedure. If you need to go that route, be sure to follow it to the letter. Get your on campus Counseling Office involved to help you through the process. There are disabilities regulations that are required to be followed. You just need to find and follow the proceedure to get the accomodations you need.

To answer your original question, we all make value judgements throuout our days. Sounds like her values are
somewhat "off".

Answer 5

I think your teacher is at a loss on how to handle the rude students who pop their gum during class.

I have taught adult education, and your teacher is right, they pay their money and you can't really tell them what to do, but their behaviour is rude and inconsiderate.

If I were in your shoes, I would look at what I can do, rather than what I can't. I would use a Walkman with some nice relaxing meditation type music that helps you think. There are many out there that block out irritating noise and allow you to concentrate on what it's front of you.

I have 5 children, and use it to block out the noise in my house sometimes when I'm trying to work at home. There's all kinds of mayhem going on around me, but I can sit with my nice, quiet, serene, music, focus on my work, all with a smile on my face.

I hope this helps.

Take care.

Kathy A.

Answer 6

The gum"popping" is very inappropriate in any examination area. She is making a excuse to not helping you and being very mean!

Answer 7

What to say to you, One more rule of old, Now passe, "No gum chewing in class room."---Would a doctor's note of the
fact help---Or could you change your seat.---Ear plugs!!!
Keep trying to block out the noise. Ask others how they feel about your issue, Get a petition going.

Answer 8

Wow, she sounds like a royal b*tch! I would fond someone else.