Mixed Signals/ First time in my life I can’t figure out the situation! HELP?

Question

I have a Myspace account. In late May I was surfing around and came across a cute guy.
I read his profile and thought I’d send him a “friend request”. He accepted my request but kept questioning why I would want to talk to him. He said that he was very shy, anti-social and had no self confidence. After he said these things I was kind of turned off and I really didn’t respond to much to him when he emailed me. He’d email me all the time and even asked me to call him. He said he was 29, shared a condo with his mother and had never been in any type of relationship. Anyway, one night in early June my girlfriends and I (all in our young 30s) headed out downtown to party. I told him where we were going and said “maybe I’ll see ya out!” Anyway, I never saw him that night. I wasn’t expecting to. It wasn’t a date or anything.
The next morning he “deleted” me as his friend and sent me 3 nasty messages. The first one was “I’m such a fool for thinking you liked me at all. You show no interest.

You are just a player. Stuff like that.” The second message was “Why set up a date with me if you had no intention of showing up?” The last email was “F-You.” I was baffled. I replied letting him know that there was a miscommunication. I also “blocked” him from contacting me again because of his immature overreaction. He wouldn’t let it go. He set up fake email accounts just to “get the last word.” Anyway, after a few days we made up and he apologized for going off on me; however he also told me he was “stalking” me by looking at the comments I left for other men. I found that to be a bit weird. So I finally called him one night (mostly out of boredom). We talked for a couple of hours and he actually seemed very nice. He told me I was very sweet and he felt really bad about going off on me.

One evening in mid June I called him. I drunk dialed him!!!! I thought he was cute and I hadn’t been with a man in two years. I invited him to my house that evening. One thing led to another and it got “hot.” The next day he called and asked to “see” me again that night. I agreed. Anyway, throughout the week he’d email me and I’d respond. I didn’t have any feelings at this point in time. However, he asked me to come over to his house a week later and I did. It was fun, had a good time. I think I went over two more nights before he got really weird on me.
About 16 days after our initial encounter he wrote me the following: “Our we just friends with benefits? I ask this because I don’t want to fall for you and have you hurt me and I don’t want to hurt you either.” I replied saying “yes” we are for now. He wrote back, “are you sure?” I said, “yes.” He wrote back again and asked “sure sure?” I said, “how many times do I have to say I’m sure?” That’s when he wrote “good cause I met another

“good cause I met another girl online and she is thinking of flying out here and I think I have fallen for her.” I wrote back saying “okay but she isn’t your girlfriend right now is she?” He said, “no!” So at this time I thought two things 1.) He is was hoping for another answer from me 2.) He is trying to see if I get jealous! Anyway, the course of the next 6 weeks was a totally “push and pull”…….

He whisphered in my ear one night during love making that I was his “first…….” Anyway, I began to develop some romantic feelings for him. I told him how I felt and he said, “yeah but I kind of have feelings for this other girl that I haven’t met yet.” I said, “okay.” I was testing him to see how long he’d go with that story. Well in mid-July I got pissy one night and told him it was “over”!!!! For the next 5 or 6 days he hounded me about it being over…I mean I want him to come to me and tell me how he feels and not play games. So for about 9 or 10 days things ended with us. Then out of the blue we got back together in late July.

For the last 3 weeks things have been wonderful. He emails me everyday, we see each other 3-4 times a week, etc. Here is the deal. Two weeks ago he wrote saying this “I think I am making a huge mistake by meeting this other girl, cause you feel so good.” Instead of saying “yeah don’t meet her, etc” I encouraged him to meet her because I don’t want to be the “second choice” and also because I’m not sure what kind of game he is playing. Then last week he wrote me and said “yep, she is not coming….she postponed it and I told her that I don’t want her to come now.” So now this “girl” isn’t coming!!! That same day he wrote me an email and it simply said “I need you.” He also said that he was just wanting to be “loved” by somebody cause nobody loves him!
So here are some of things he has told me in the last 3 weeks: I want you, I need you, Being inside of you is all I can think about, I could be with you morning, noon and night, I miss you etc.

Also, since he told me that he had this other girl he cared for I decided to “date” other guys. Not sleep with anybody else but just date cause what’s the point of falling for a guy that is in love with somebody else?! Well anyway, I went out on a date the other night (Saturday) and this week he seemed jealous by it…..”played it off as cool” ….Also when I told him I was going to get my own place and I was excited cause I could have anybody I wanted over he wrote back “anybody huh?”
So in the bedroom in doesn’t feel like just sex. Our sessions literally last all night!!! NO JOKE. He cuddles me all night, kisses my forehead, plays with my hair, holds me VERY close, kisses me deeply, bites my lips, kisses my chest….and if I decide to leave he’ll grab my hands! It’s very intimate.
Yesterday he told me I intimated him by my confidence, career, intelligence etc…..saying “he has none of those traits”….also two days ago he asked, “are you sure I am enough to satisfy you?”

The reason I’m confused is because I don’t know what this shy, anti-social, low-self esteem dude wants from me? If it’s just sex he has that! He sends me mixed signals.
He sometimes doesn’t answer my call or my text messages. But he emails me all day long although he hasn’t emailed me at all today…..He seems interested by all the things he says to me but I don’t feel like he always wants to be with me….maybe he is just tired etc…I dunno!!!!
Is the dude just playing me or what’s the deal here? I am about ready to give up and move on cause my heart isn’t sure what he is doing….but lemme tell you…our souls “gel” when we are together….it’s ironic….it’s like the “weak and the strong”….coming together!

HELP!

Answer 1

Reading that story made me fall in love with him. You should be a writer!

Men are stupid. They think the whole world revolves around them. I think he is in love with you but he is immature when it comes to relationships. Let him grow, let him discover on his own how to deal with situations. You have to remember you were his first and we always feel some type of connection with our first but he has to have more experiences before he can figure out if you are the one for him. Dont wait around for him but dont push him away eather. If you are not in a commited relationship, its not cheating and dont ever let him make you feel guilty. Play it cool when he dates other women.

Answer 2

DRAMA! Wow, what a story! Hun, I gotta tell you, this guy reminds me of someone I met online. I went out with the guy once. He was never in a relationship, was a virgin....he's 35....the virgin thing didn't bother me because some people prefer to wait until marraige....but I wondered why at that age he never had a girlfriend. Well, this guy acted just like the guy you are talking about. Girl, it was not pretty! Those nasty emails he sent you should have been enough. You gave him the invite....he never showed....and curses you out. Or even if you were the one who didn't show, he shouldn't have gone off like that, because he hardly knew you. Any other guy may have asked you what happened and then got over it. This guy sounds a little bi-polar, and may get verbally abusive, and very emotionally attached way too soon. I think he was just trying to get you jealous, but I wouldn't be surprised if he already fell for someone without meeting them. The one guy he reminds me of told me he got crushes on everyone he meets, but was very shy, etc. I hope this guy doesn't know where you live. You're safety should never be at risk because you were "bored". Leave him alone and find a more sane guy to have some fun with. Be safe.

Answer 3

OK long pissy message Iskipped to the end

He wants you to tell him how you feel,-- straight up--

I like you- I'm using you for sex

I love you- sex is included

I'm tired of you- go away

Answer 4

Sounds like an unhealthy relationship to me. I would move on, unless you enjoy drama. Just my opinion, best wishes!

Answer 5

wow too many games being play here

i think u need to talk to him like an adult and tell him to stop playing games wit u

Answer 6

My goodness. i think you should find another guy maybe one that is not someone you met on myspace. he sounds like he is playing you.

Answer 7

u story is too friggin long