OK me and my boyfriend are going out to dinner tonight and everywhere we go to eat he seems to know people (well people seem to know him half the time he doesn't remember who they are) anyways I'm very picky about where we eat now because the last two places we had his exes as our servers talk about akward but the last few times we went to eat we had people that work there come sit next to us in the booth and start chatting with him. One we are on a date and so I find this very rude and 2 they never bother to introduce themselves to me and my boyfriend works alot so it's very important that we get this time for ourselves. anyways how can i explain to them that we are on a date and I think it's rude for them to invite themselves to join us?
2007-08-09 08:48:15 · 27 answers · asked by MelC 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Well, since you are asking for opinions, mine is that you are way too uptight about his friends chatting with you while you are at dinner. If they are working there, I'm sure they aren't staying but a minute or two. As to not introducing themselves to you, what is rude is that your boyfriends doesn't introduce YOU to THEM. Now, that's rude...
2007-08-09 08:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by Be me 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋
He may feel just as awkward about it as you do. I think it's very hard to ask an acquaintance to butt out, but it might be possible to do it nicely...
Have your boyfriend tell whoever comes to talk that tonight is an extremely important night and you two haven't seen one another for a while, or you won't see eachother again for a while, or you are here to have a very important talk or something along those lines. He can just say it casually as part of the beginning conversation and hopefully the person will gladly excuse themselves without being offended.
Good luck!
2007-08-09 15:57:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since they don't bother with introductions, nor does your boyfriend, take the initiative and introduce yourself.
Once asserted, take the opportunity to respond to the question, "What are y'all (you, youse guys, whatev), doing here?" with the statement, "We get so little time alone, we were stealing a few moments for ourselves." Look the interloper in the eye while delivering this statement. If that doesn't work, give them a couple of minutes and say, "It was very nice meeting you, please don't let us interfere with your plans. Have a good evening."
Then, ask your boyfriend why he doesn't introduce you and shine on these intruders, himself. If he hasn't, maybe your time together is more important to you, than it is to him.
My ex loved his friends. Even so much that he'd have them home, 24 hrs after he'd been to sea for 3.5 months with them! He never understood why that made me angry. Do the friends get more of his time?
2007-08-09 16:15:33 · answer #3 · answered by muppetkiller_2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Address the problem before going out...and if he really wants to talk to these people, tell him to at least introduce them to you (if he knows them), so you could feel a bit more comfortable. But the problem is with your boyfriend, he needs to realize that the alone time you have, even if its in public, should be between the both of you, not you, him, and 3 co-workers.
2007-08-09 16:00:12 · answer #4 · answered by onetimerhyme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, here is what I would do.
When someone random sits next to you, I would sigh and shake my head a little, to let him know you're not entirely happy with the company. Hopefully he'll ask the person to leave (if he's smart enough to catch on.)
If that doesn't work, I'd excuse myself from the table and say something like, "Well, while you two talk, I'll go freshen up" and hopefully he'll get that hint.
If he's still totally oblivious, I'd talk to him about it. Maybe you can work something out like, he has a few nights with his friends, and you have a few nights together?
2007-08-09 15:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by Avillie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that it's rude that your boyfriend doesn't handle the introductions or the removal of your unwanted guests.
It's not your place to handle his friends since they are strangers to you.
If he has any class at all...HE would introduce/dispense with the date crashers.
If they were YOUR friends YOU would handle it wouldn't you? Introduce him and whatever? So why isn't he standing up and introducing his friends?
It sounds like his friends aren't the only ones that are being rude.
Talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel...if he cares, and has any class, he'll fix it....or at least bother to introduce his friends when they come crashing your dates.
2007-08-09 15:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
They are aquaintances and friends of your bf. So it's not up to you to shoo them away. It would be up to him.
Talk to your bf. If he honestly doesn't want the "interruptions", then he should act on it.
Also, per ettiquette, it is not really their job to introduce themselves to you, it is up to your bf to introduce you to them. He SHOULD say, "Hey Joe. This is my gf *insert name here*. We were just having a nice dinner together." That would be 1) respectful of you in noting to those people that you matter and 2) would be a solid hint to them that he wants to be alone with you. That way he could easily say "Hey - it's great seeing you and all. But I really want to spend some time with my girl. You understand, I am sure." ... If the bf is not the one to care enough to want to introduce you to people (to show he's proud of you and you are not just a fixture there in that chair), and doesn't care to tell them graciously that he wants some alone time with you, then I'd take that as a hint from him.
2007-08-09 16:07:37 · answer #7 · answered by Barb B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Order dinner in and watch a movie and talk to your boyfriend about going out to dinner and your problem. Ask your boyfriend to introduce you to his friends. That should be up to him.
2007-08-10 05:17:08 · answer #8 · answered by lucy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say anything to the people, but you MUST talk to your bf about this - so he introduces you to his friends, or it's time you two just started eating at one another's homes.
2007-08-09 19:39:47 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, here's how you get off the hook. Tell your boyfriend that this bothers you and tell him to fix it. These are his friends , not yours. Why should it be your responsibility to ask them to leave you alone? If he doesn't do anything about it, then manners be damned, tell those people that you need some "alone time" and to please excuse themselves from your dinner. If it bothers him, you have already given him the option to do something about it, so he has no one to blame but himself.
2007-08-09 15:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by Ham B 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋