Okay well my most recent boyfriend keeps in touch with his ex gf's a lot. He's open to me about it, and we've talked about it and he says the only reason he still talks to them is that he still cares for them like a friend. His first gf for example was his first love and he contacts her occasionaly just to say hi or whatnot. I don't keep in contact with my ex bf's because they are called "ex" for a reason. So I have a hard time understanding. Should I be worried or not? What's your opinion on this..? Why would you want to keep in touch with your ex..isn't it over?
2007-08-09 08:39:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, he may be doing it for the very reason he said: he still cares for them as friends. If that is the case, then look at the bright side: your boyfriend is a caring individual! Maybe he just wants everyone to be happy. Hopefully that will include you, and doubly so!
I'd keep an eye on him, though. It sounds innocent, and I am sure his intentions are pure, but these things can come and bite you in the butt. I generally think that keeping in contact with ex's is a bad idea. Old feelings have a habit of rekindling, and even if they do not, you CERTAINLY do not want him discussing YOUR relationship with them. They will NOT give him good advice, especially if you and him go through any rough times.
I will also say that more times than not a boyfriend who keeps in touch with past girlfriends is "keeping his options open." If you sense this is the case, you are best off dropping him and finding a guy that will put you FIRST and leave the past in the past. BUT... don't assume this is the case. Just be cautious and look for bad signs (secrecy, talking about you behind your back, etc).
2007-08-09 08:46:03 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Jen =3, I am on the same page (think) as you. They're ex's for a reason, why should keep in touch with them. I have heard some want to stay friends after the relationship falls apart.
Why, I am still working on that part myself. Myself I have a problem with it.
I have a question for you, have you ask him if there something come ups that you need him and his ex's called and tell him that she needed him too. Who will he pick between the two of you?
If you trust him enough you don't have a need to worry. But, I would put the individual (your bf in this case) on notices, that if and when she/he cross that line (sleeping with their ex's) just get your things and move back to them. I don't want to hear any kind of lame explanations what happen, just get the duck out!!
good luck!
2007-08-09 09:13:02 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally keep in touch with my ex gf.And iam open about it with my wife even though it's only through e-mails.She has no problem with it.I would say if he's trying to hide it from you then you can be worried.Don't really see a problem with them being friends.Now if they were calling on the phone every day you might have a reason to be upset.As long as it doesn't take away from you and your bf's life now i guess i would say it's ok.
2007-08-09 08:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When people stay in touch with their ex's, it leaves a door open to the past. And it is easy to go right back into their arms...honestly, I used to try to be understanding about it...but have learned that it is all too easy for someone to go back to their ex, even if only for a night...
Now, some might say that if he is willing to include you in the "friendship" then there is nothing to worry about...I am not so sure.
I would sit down with him and let him know that it bothers you. Hopefully he will listen and be repsectful of your feelings and wishes...if not, it is only a sign that he will continue to put your needs on the back burner when it comes down to it...Good luck to you whatever you do!
2007-08-09 08:45:59 · answer #4 · answered by daisy31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can really help you with this one. I use to be the exact same way as you. EX = cut that **** out of your life move on. Well then I had a relationship for a year with my most recent gf. we ended up growing apart. but there was no reason to hate. better yet, I still had a bestfriend that I could talk to about anything, and likewise. You have to realize there is no sexual chemistry in my case. I cannot speak to his. Also I must point out that I am a unique male who doesn't do things the same way as others alot. This being said it is possible. But look for the signs, are they talkin during the day or late at night. when hes drunk is his first instinct to call? Ask to see a converstaion they have online, he should have nothing to hide and if it puts you at ease he should be eager to please. life isn't simple, and its not cut and dry, there are always going to be excpetions. best of luck
2007-08-09 08:44:52 · answer #5 · answered by hvfreestyler 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol. i keep in touch with my ex bf. we're actually really good friends and talk online quite often. i enjoy his company and he has interesting stuff to talk about. my current bf doesn't mind that, he knows i wouldn't cheat on him. and no, i don't have any feelings for my ex, i just like him as a friend, that's why we broke up, we worked better as friends than we did as a couple. i wouldn't worry about your bf. he likes the friendship. i'd only worry if he took them to a dinner or something without you.
2007-08-09 08:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by Wallflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be a 50/50 deal.
he can really just care for them as friends
or he can still want to be with them.
talk to him. let time pass a little dont ***** at him for it though.
then hopefully sooner or later he'll realize that the past is a door(his ex's) that needs to be shut in order for others to open. (you) and he'll stop talking to them
good luck
2007-08-09 08:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by DatDrMaHeLuvs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they're friends!!! No big deal. Would you rather he hate them? Would you rather he call them names? I think it shows great character that he is still friendly with his ex's.
If you two were to break up would you still want to be friends? Think of it that way and don't be upset about it, if he's open with you about it, I doubt he's hiding anything.
2007-08-09 08:50:40 · answer #8 · answered by Starr 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its a 50/50 chance
u know some ex could really be friends after a break up
some of just there for back up or too come back to each other
2007-08-09 08:42:47 · answer #9 · answered by simple J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah dont worry bout it unless you really cant trust your boyfriend, and if u suspect cheating approach him right away. but i know many people who stay friends with their ex's because i guess if they cared so much for them before its hard to throw them away in their eyes. but it doesnt mean he's interested in them.
2007-08-09 08:43:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋