Jesus told me God changed her mind about the Bible- it's been rewritten too many times- and now she wants everybody to follow another Book only I can see (ps- Does this make me kind of like the second coming? Not sure on that.) Anyway, this new Book says everybody's supposed to mail 1$ to me for the trouble of being the Messenger, and in return they'll receive eternal salvation. If they want to give more, that's fine. What a bargain, eh?! Think it through- don't say "well that's not in the Bible"- God doesn't want us to follow the Bible anymore, she changed her mind, she's God, after all!
Who's on board?
2007-08-09 07:10:57 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Yes we are all dying to know how this could have been so much more clever . .
2007-08-09 07:17:11 · update #1
Yes, God is indeed a she, and someone as stupid as me has to be pretty damn smart to be picked as the Messenger . .
2007-08-09 07:19:23 · update #2
I've already been to Hell, thanks.
2007-08-09 07:21:11 · update #3
Where are the witty comebacks? Are people so frightened as to not be able to recognize a joke? Geesh!!
2007-08-09 07:28:02 · update #4
Can I be an apostle? huh, can I? I wanna be a cool apostle too! Not a lousy one like that snitch, judas. Also, I want to travel. And I want followers of my own! And I want....HEY, NEW JESUS, YOU GETTIN ALL THIS? You better be doing some cool miracle stuff to or it's splitsville your holiness! Now get busy with the preachin, I'm gonna round up some virgins.
2007-08-09 07:30:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. Well we were warned that other prophets would come and teach against the Bible and that when a new prophet comes along, we should examine the Scriptures to see whether or not the person is from God. You fail that test as your "Jesus" told you throw out the Bible. Since we are told that God never changes and that the Bible is God's Truth revealed to us, it makes no sense that God would suddenly change his mind and give a conflicting revelation. That's why we more critical thinking Christians reject many of the teachings that have come and gone through the years.
Blessings.
2007-08-09 14:22:20 · answer #2 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God is not a she, and how can you say something like this. HE might ask someone to write another book but I'm pretty dam sure that it wouldn't be someone as stupid as you.
2007-08-09 14:16:40 · answer #3 · answered by 2345 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no religion dear.
Love God with all your heart.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
Relax and behold the miracles.
All that 2nd coming stuff. It would have to be female to do that more than once.
â¥Blessed Beâ¥
â¥=â
2007-08-09 14:15:44 · answer #4 · answered by gnosticv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not listen to this false prophet, for she is the anti-Christ! Only by following me, and giving me a dollar a piece, can you find true salvation!
I am the Highlander!
2007-08-09 14:15:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
All I can say is you just commited sin and you're going to hell. Using Gods name like that isn't funny.
2007-08-09 14:17:39 · answer #6 · answered by moose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright Satan, give it up! God already told me you would try this!
2007-08-09 14:17:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, no more scam.. what $1 are you talking about? how can this be specific in that book are you talking that is for you!
2007-08-09 14:21:10 · answer #8 · answered by R.A. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't America great?
2007-08-09 15:10:44 · answer #9 · answered by Isolde 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have fun with that.
2007-08-09 14:15:26 · answer #10 · answered by CHRISTINA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋