Although this has brought him closer to me and as of now he doesnt want to leave me alone. But I just feel like he doesnt understand. After all he didnt want a baby to began with and now all of a sudden he wants to try again as soon as he gets home...But when he tells me that he loves me I cant bring myself to tell him back. Its like I almost lost all feelings for him...Is this Normal??
2007-08-09 06:17:47 · 18 answers · asked by Miss Me 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Yes its normal. My wife miscarried and I got a lot of that "you don't understand." Obvisouly I must not have, how could I have? I wanted to, I wanted to do anything to make it better, but I couldnt understand what it all was to her. Why is it women insist on us being able to understand, we carried no child, how could we understand? Yes, I was growing to love for the child, i sang to it and did what i could to comfort it/her. And I felt pain just as my wife did. But I was ever so frustrated with that comment, though I never told her.
Your man sounds like a good one. It sounds like he wants to help, he wants to make it as best he can. Let him try, dont be mad because he cares enough to try. Don't be mad because he cant understand, I'm sure he wishes he could.
If your not ready to be pregnant again, tell him you need time. My wife wouldnt talk about having a child for a long while, and I thought it was never going to come up again. I was worried but I was also willing to give her time. About a year after, she told me she was ready, and we did after have a child.
I dont think your feelings are lost. I think you just need some more time to let things calm down. Look at him, look at how much he wants to make everything better, and I dont think it will be too long before you find your feelings. Good luck, and I'm sorry.
2007-08-09 07:26:07 · answer #1 · answered by billgoats79 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is normal. I think he understand to a point. He can't completely understand how you feel because he isn't the one who was carrying the baby. I think you might be in a depression mode right now, and you might blame your self a little bit for loosing the child. You might be taking it out on him because you your self don't understand how you are feeling. This is a big deal and can make things worse. You need to either organize all your feelings and understand why you feel the way you do. If you can't do this on your own there are support groups for women who have gone through this. He is being supportive to you which is good, because some guys just don't get it at all and think you should be able to just live your life as if it was no big deal. He does understand because if he didn't he would be completely different then he is being right now.. You should love him even more because of how he is handling this on his own and with you.
2007-08-09 06:25:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear your bad news hun, sending you cyber hugs.
how your feeling is perfectly normal & to be honest your bf probably does`nt understand. he may have an awareness of your feelings but at the end of the day how could any man understand a womans feelings at such a time.
the fact he wants to start again suggests that
1. he wants to make you feel better by having another baby &
2. guilt for not wanting the baby in the first place.
you have`nt lost your feelings for him, your just numb with grief at the moment but you do need to talk to him about how your feeling. in time the numbness will lessen hun.
take care & if you decide to try again then good luck, you`ll probably go onto have a perfectly normal pregnancy next time.
2007-08-09 06:26:16 · answer #3 · answered by helen t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you propose you do no longer sense something you're meant to precisely? being pregnant is distinctive for each woman and a few human beings purely don't sense warning signs. those women every person is very very fortunate and should no longer complication. i'm 34 weeks and nonetheless plagued by morning ailment so count style your advantages. You suggested you heard the pulse and you have yet another ultrasound in some weeks. in case you have heard or seen the pulse and the physician has desperate each thing is positive then you definately're completely positive. the possibility of miscarriage or something going incorrect dramatically drops as quickly as a healthful heartbeat has been detected, so do no longer rigidity out. Im particular each thing is totally positive. reliable success :)
2016-10-09 16:23:16 · answer #4 · answered by edison 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men are not sure if they want a child, when it comes along, because in their minds, are they good enough to be a dad, and then they start realizing it will be a good thing. He is holding back his emotions from you, and if he wants to try again, then he really wanted the first child. It might be as hard as it was for you, he just doesn't show it and your questioning him now. You will get your feeling back you have just lost something very important, and I think he does understand, he just doesn't express it.
2007-08-09 06:23:25 · answer #5 · answered by Tommy's_Sweet_Girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for this loss. It can be very devastating.
Your emotions and body are so out of whack right now, and it's normal for you not to understand whats going on with you and your boyfriend. He's probably just as devasted as you are. Men just have a different way of handling things. He may also be trying to be strong for you! His urge to "want to try again as soon as he gets home", suggest to me that he really does care and wants to move on. All these emotions are healthy ones!
2007-08-09 06:25:53 · answer #6 · answered by erika_sullivan1114 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1stly im so sorry for ur loss... me and my partner have been through this before when we lost our lil girl at 28 +3 weeks pregnant.... he went through the tsage of not wanting to say anything he just kept it all 2 himself but deep down i knew he was truely upset he would sit on his own and cry wen i was sleeping or wen i was out of the room etc.. some men do it because they dont wanna upset u they want 2 be strong for u... u have both been thru it so just confind in each other let him kno he can talk 2 u and let it all out... my partner was goin thru the same thing he sugguested we try again as soon as we can and partly i believe its becaus e he knew thats what i wanted.... just over 7months later and now im pregnant again with our 2nd child and allthough i kno his happy for us both his also very wary and trys not to bond to much to the baby hopefully its all just a phase and eveything wil pass soon. once again im so sorry for ur loss and i hope my words help. good luck in the future xx
2007-08-10 03:58:41 · answer #7 · answered by mummy to a lil prince 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I'm so sorry for your loss.
He's a man and he desperately wants to make everything OK. This is from a psychological point of view is what men do. Unfortunately in his current state he thinks one baby replaces another and it will make everything right.
Go talk to someone yourself, and then suggest he might like to see someone as well. Don't be surprised if he says no though as men still think they have to be brave.
Good luck, and take some time to heal.
2007-08-09 06:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by Fourcandles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of it is hormones. The rest of it is pain. Men dont and cant understand what its like to have desire and love for the life that grows inside a woman. Only we can feel that.
Honestly, they sympathize, and morn and have empathy for it all, but they cannot fathom what its like to have dreamed and entire life for a child before its even made, and then to lose it all at the start.
2007-08-09 06:22:53 · answer #9 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course its normal, because he doesnt knows what u went through, but if u want him to understands u should sit down and talk to him because he wont know unless u tell him ur true feelings...about the losing feelings for him, its just a phase, i mean it should go away...u just had a miscarriage, so expect to feel 1000 different emotions all at once...but if it gets worse, u should talk to someone
2007-08-09 06:22:15 · answer #10 · answered by Troy & Aliya's Mommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋