ok so my bf and i have been going out like 9 months and weve only gotten to 1st...yup sad aint it...but thats my fault..i want to go farther but when he tries things i find myself backing out and hes ok with it...just not happy but who would be.....were 17 if any of u wouild like to kno that...i have no clue why i a;ways stop him..its just that i do and i cant stop myself from stopping him...any ideas
2007-08-09 06:11:52 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
haha not sex....just like anything but that....lol
2007-08-09 06:19:31 · update #1
have you gone past first base before? I think, in your head, you want to go much farther, but when you're actually doing it, maybe you realize that you're not so comfortable with it after all. It may not necessarily be the guy your dating, but just that this is pretty new to you and you have to work your way into a comfort zone. Just do what you've been doing and one day, you may want to go to 2nd and so on. As long as he'll stop and respect you (which it seems like he has), I'm sure you guys will become more comfortable with each other and do more things that indicate that.
2007-08-09 06:18:20 · answer #1 · answered by blackoil 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with you two and it's not anyone's fault, it sounds like you're not ready. Of course boys are seemingly ready to go at a moment's notice, that's the surge of testosterone.
What they don't realize is that everything changes when you take that next step, no matter what, you two will know each other intimately and if it doesn't work out, how will you two ever go back to being friends?
The fact that he's still with you means he cares a great deal about you, considerate of your feelings, don't feel pressured to have sex before you're ready. How will you know that? Because you will not stop yourself or him, it will feel like the most natural thing in the world, no guilt, no shame, no embarrassment. It's okay to take your time.
2007-08-09 13:24:12 · answer #2 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is saving your virginity a sad thing? I don't think so... Don't get me wrong I've had my won experiences but saying that you are sad for keeping your virginity shows that you are not mature enough to give it away. Having sex is not a necessity but a choice.. There are people who choose to be a virgin until 25 years old and people still respect and love them. the fact that you back out means that you are not yet ready and you should cherish your bf because he respects your decision. If and when you do it you have to be sure that you both want to and not just because people your age have already done it. Save it girl, for the right one... By the way 9 months?...That's not enough to grant you sexual intercourse. how well do you know this guy? you are both young, things change quickly.. Boys at his age rarely get contented with one sexual partner so better think twice.
Cheer up. Make no regrets.= )
2007-08-09 13:23:51 · answer #3 · answered by Smile2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a differnce between being not ready and afraid to do anything else. A healthy relationship is both physical and "spirtual", lack of one or the other can cause problems in relationship. Physical aspects, believe it or not, are crucial to the survial of a relationship too, some ppl prob dont like that answer, but we we're human after all. I found that commincaiton is the best tool in all situations in a relationship. Just sit down with him, and talk to him and open up completly. youll be glad you did in the end. :)
2007-08-09 13:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are stopping him it's because you're just not ready to go farther. You will know when you're ready when it feels right. I know you want to please your boyfriend, but seriously, you're only 17, you have a lot of life ahead of you and there is no need at all to rush. My biggest piece of advice, is to never do anything you are uncomfortable with. If a guy tries to make you feel you should go farther even when you don't want to, then he is not worthy of you.
2007-08-09 13:20:31 · answer #5 · answered by Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you should not put yourself in a compromising position. If you know you are not ready, then you should tell him you will let him know when you are. That way, he doesn't
have to keep trying and have to hear you say stop. Don't rush into anything. Wait as long as you need to wait. Intimate encounters should be special and the two of you need to be safe and mature before engaging in these acts.
2007-08-09 13:20:22 · answer #6 · answered by flirty30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you and he seems like a great guy. It seems like you aren't ready because that is something you can't reverse. Take your time and enjoy one another. You can't help the way you feel and I am proud that you aren't responding out of guilt or force. If he decides that you aren't the one, it's ok. You deserve to be with someone who will respect your decisions and treat you like the lady that you are. Be absolutely, positively sure about your choice and you can't go wrong. Good luck.
2007-08-09 13:17:33 · answer #7 · answered by hamptoncutie204 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you, Its ok not to want to have sex at you age. Sometimes its better when your older like in your twenties. 9 mouths really isnt a long time when you cosider the timne in a lifetime. That part of you is special and should be giving to someone your going to be with though life
2007-08-09 13:17:41 · answer #8 · answered by Cassey G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's perfectly normal. You're just not ready. That's good in a way too, because you probably won't get carried away and do something you might regret. And you're lucky that your boyfriend respects you and doesn't force you. That's really important. Over time you'll become more comfortable. Just make sure that he always knows his limits.
2007-08-09 13:17:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, here's an idea. KEEP STOPPING HIM. You are too young for a sexual relationship. You should at least both be legal adults which is 18.
It's not sad that you've not gone past 1st - it's a good thing! Stop trying to grow up so fast.
2007-08-09 13:15:35 · answer #10 · answered by lanagrl78 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋