"But as the church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be subject to their husbands in everything."

Question

- Ephesians 5:24.

Also, 1 Peter 3:1 & 2:

"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, THAT EVEN IF SOME DO NOT OBEY THE WORD, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear." (caps for emphasis)

QUESTION - Christian ladies, what exceptions are there to submitting to a saved or unsaved husband's God-given headship in marriage ? Please give appropriate Scripture to support your view.

Thanks in advance for your replies. Bless you.

The tone of some of the replies from professing Christians certainly leaves a bit to be desired.

If you disagree with me, or feel that I have "conveniently" quoted selectively, fine. However, I feel that it would be an appropriate witness for professing Christians to express their disagreement IN LOVE, no ?

Incidentally, there is nothing in the Bible to suggest that a woman ought not to submit to her Christian husband if he is failing to love her as Christ loved the church. And vice-versa applies.

As Christians, we OUGHT to obey these commands out of obedience to Christ, not as a response to our spouse's obedience, no ? Obedience to these commands (both for men & women) is NOT conditional upon our partner's obedience.

Heretic -

Not a bad answer, and from a non-Christian, too!

Searcher -

Your answer proves that obedience to God's word always ultimately issues in BLESSING.

Thank you.

Answer 1

My husband is not Christian, and I will respect him, and stand behind his decisions, but if he told me to deny Jesus, and kill or steal etc, then that's where I would have to draw the line.
Because that would mean that he would be trying to get me to renounce my belief, therefore, I will not disobey God to obey my husband, and if he doesn't like it, then he can leave, and I will let him.
1 corinth 7:15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace

Answer 2

I love it when people conveniently stop reading scripture. Here is the very next verse...

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Who has the greater responsibility and who should be all the more humble. The fact that I as a husband am to live up to the standard of Christ means that I cannot and will not take advantage of any position of authority.

edit: My friend, there is no tone in type so if my response offended you than I apologize as it was not meant to offend. I simply offered the next text because without it the true meaning of the relationship between a husband and wife as desired by God becomes one sided and oppressive.

Answer 3

Well, I've been reading the book, "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian and it showed me a few things I need to work on.

First of all, what I've learned is that there really cannot be two leaders in a home. It causes conflict and strife and neither party can be happy. If they want to be partners, that is one thing, but two leaders...won't work.

I look at the verse you mentioned above and it is sooo true. I've found that what God showed me in order to have a happy marriage is to put the control back into God's hands and pray for my husband. Not for God to change him to suit me, but for me to change my thinking and allow God to change my husband to suit God. You know what has happened in the process? We're a lot happier. I don't criticize as much, and when I became more loving, God is opening my husband's heart as well.

I know you are looking for scriptures, but let me share the one that is coming to mind. There is a verse about how hard it is for a husband to bear an angry and contentious woman in Proverbs. That's why for me, it works to walk in love to my husband and let him be the leader. This doesn't mean that I'm the doormat, either. It just means that I won't argue and contradict him over every issue that I disagree with. Plus, it makes for a happier home in the process and he is actually listening to me more, now that I don't criticize him on everything.

Answer 4

First of all, Christians are not supposed to marry non-Christians (be ye not unequally yolked together). It, where it says that wives should submit, it also says that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. If a man is actually fulfilling his part of the commandment, then there is no reason for a wife to not submit.

Sorry, don't have my Bible with me....

Answer 5

My husband and I try to have an "equal" marriage, but it's difficult for 2 people to be equally in charge all the time. Occasionally we reach an empass where we have opposing views of a subject, and in that case I do believe God wants the husband to be the head of the household and make the final decision.

It's important that a husband's "power" not be abused. My husband doesn't treat me like a child or a second-class citizen, because obviously that isn't what God wants him to do. God ordered that men should love their wives and treat them well, and if they do that, what's wrong with letting a man think he's in charge? ;)

The Bible also states that a Christian wife should submit to her husband whether he is saved or not, but I am not an expert on chapter and verse, so I can't direct you to where you can find that in the holy book.

Answer 6

I'm not a christian, but I've actually been discussing this subject recently because I have a christian friend who is going through some problems with her non-christian husband.

The pastor I spoke with on this subject said that christian women make that commitment not only to their husbands, but also to god. Therefore, they must obey god's commandments, regardless of the spiritual state of their spouse.

Its only when the non-christian husband expects their wife to disregard biblical teachings that she is not supposed to "submit" to him. By being a good christian wife, this will supposedly be her way of witnessing to her husband. However, a good christian wife wouldn't skip church or kill someone or get involved in "sexual immorality" just because her husband asked it.

Answer 7

First of all, I am a former Christian, now agnostic. There are many different versions of the Bible. In one, Lilith was created the same time as Adam, but was his equal & refused to be subjugated, so God took Adams's rib & made a woman more to his liking. In the second version, Eve is supposed to be a help-mate, not a slave! Adam is supposed to be her protector & provider. If you need me to look these scriptures up for you, I will.

Answer 8

believing wives are not to rely on argumentation to win their unbelieving husbands, but on the quality of their lives. "actions speak louder than words"
inferiority is not being applied by this passage. the submission is one of role or function necessary for the orderly operation of the home.
christian women submit their role as head of the home. it doesn't mean that we are slaves to our husbands and to our homes. i agree whole-heartedly...it's his. I think his command is even harder...to love me as Christ loved the church. Christ died for the church...HELLO!
we are, however, both brothers and sisters in Christ and are also expected to "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" ~ Eph. 5:21....which means that we should have a quiet attitude that will help the relationship, associated with the filling of the Holy Spirit.
non-christians make such a big deal out of this. I have given up nothing.
blessings.

Answer 9

You are correct. Wives are commanded to be subject to their own husbands. However, in verse 28 of that same chapter, husbands are commanded to "love their wives as their own bodies"( taking care of them and treating them the way that they would want to be treated). This makes it easy for them to submit. Wives are not to submit, however, when the command from their husbands conflict with God's laws.( Acts 5:29.)

Answer 10

If the Husbands follow the instruction given to them-- submission would not be such a big deal...
However don't demand I submit- when in truth you are lacking as a husband.

Just a few notes:
EPH 5-- read it all
Col 3:19