I met a guy a few weeks ago and he was holding my hand on the first date and trying to stick his tongue in my mouth on the second. I met him online and the dates have been good except the fact that he keeps going on about how pretty I am and asking me if I am a passionate sensual woman. I am interested in passion and romance and all that but as a lady, I don't give sex out freely. I had mentioned having some financial issues a couple weeks back (although I work hard, I don't make much money) and he offered no help although he drives a 50k car and his children are grown. He talks about wanting to take me to cancun and all that (every trip he mentions involves the beach which I am not really into as I don't have a beach body). He emailed me today after not being in touch for several days. I know I shouldn't expect him to help me out financially, after all I'm not his wife, but then again I don't think he should expect sex because I am not his wife. Are guys just takers?
2007-08-09 04:58:10 · 10 answers · asked by stillnotsure 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's odd how people are more serious about money than sex. The worst thing that could happen with helping someone financially, is they might scam you and you lose some money, the worst thing that can happen with having sex with someone you don't know well, is that you could get a incurable disease or even die.
2007-08-09 05:14:24 · update #1
If I put myself in his shoes, I am hoping you do not want me just for my money. That said, I am also hoping you will sleep with me, because you are pretty and I am having daydreams about you in Cancun.
I would say that if you sleep with him you could expect more in return, but that is the wrong answer, morally and relationship-wise.
So, what I would suggest, being a guy approaching middle age with a little bit of money, is to hold out on the physical stuff, and really up the number of compliments you give him (without being trite, he'll see right through that) about things that you really like about him. Cultivate the relationship until you feel that you both deserve to sleep with each other. Keep you finances to yourself, but don't ignore them. Maybe even insist that you go "dutch" ( no offense, Dutch people, just a phrase) and if you cannot afford to, then suggest that you do cheap of free stuff with your time together. This will tell you what it is that he is after, and then you can gain a clearer understanding of the relationship.
I must say that I do not like the way you have described him, and from my younger days I know that the "chase" is better then the "victory". So give it some time, and if he strays from the "chase" then you have a definite answer. Don't debase yourself and stay confident. You clearly have something that he wants.
2007-08-09 05:15:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex has been sensitized by the media and people have excepted it as okay to bring up with anyone anytime. Not saying its not ok to talk about sex but that it should not be the whole of your conversation in a beginning relationshiop The reason financial issues are so taboo is because most people feel like if you are talking about money or not having money that you want to take their money. People talk there money very seriously so most people bring that up later on in the relationship.
2007-08-09 12:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by bulletwitch93 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not all guys are just takers, but finances don't generally become an issue until marriage/committed relationship. since he is by your own admission a "new guy" no, it's not right to expect him to help with your money problems, especially not after a few weeks. granted it's something of a double standard, but sex has become the currency of relationships in our society and it's just something that comes up freely.
2007-08-09 12:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes in my opinion they are.
cuz no matter how much you mention you might have this and that to do they never actually come out and help you, just for the sake of it.
and if you was to actually ask them for help,they either have more bills than you or don't call for a few days or just stop completely.
so you now have to read between the lines,
I think a guy/man has to really consider you as his personal to offer his financial assistance.
2007-08-09 12:07:17 · answer #4 · answered by karibbean beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. let's see... after a few dates you tell him that you are having trouble financially and wonder why (if he's got this extra disposable income) he doesn't offer to help you out. Then you complain about him asking you about sex.
Hmmm... I'd suggest ask yourself this question: Why is it that I should be pissed about a guy wanting to understand about my feelings on intimacy when he won't even help me pay my bills?
Sounds a like the mentality of a street worker to me.
2007-08-09 12:06:06 · answer #5 · answered by wrkey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like your comaprision between sex and money.
The reason people don' like to talk about money is because they worry the other person might just be after their money. Sex doesn't cost anything and there is lot's of people just giving it away for free.
If he is always talking about sex which all us guys are it's up to you to raise the standards and make him meet them.
2007-08-09 12:08:50 · answer #6 · answered by Lou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I can see this one coming a mile away...He's interested in sex and apparently, also trying to recapture his youth...Do your needs match his? Hm. Sounds shallow...money or no, I'd run in the other direction.
Think about it: sex for money? I mean, that's pretty much how it sounds...you interested?
Grace
2007-08-09 12:04:51 · answer #7 · answered by bunnyONE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never found financial issues taboo but your right he shouldn't be asking for sex, especially so soon. Maybe you should tell him you don't give it up so easily and if he keeps trying, well, he prolly isn't worth your time, right?
2007-08-09 12:04:38 · answer #8 · answered by multione88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy's a player. Find someone better..
2007-08-09 12:03:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he just wants to get into your pants. sorry but true.
2007-08-09 12:04:35 · answer #10 · answered by helen helen helen helen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋