My mom keeps trying to get me to plan things with my friends but most of them are outa town and the ones that arent i dont know there cell or house numbers. And every day this summers she's been saying "oh you need to go bowling with such and such" and "oh call nick see if he wants to go swimming" and " we'll wait for when nicks in town to go to the water park" (the water park she wants to go to is kiddy and im 13). And i dont like letting her get into my social life to much cuse that will be the only thing she talks about and she will question everything acting like she's in it. saying " oh is she/he still going out with he/she?" and going on and on acting like she's in it, and ive grown quite scared of letting her in cuse of all that. And I hardly go out with friends or let her near them cuse she'll act all weird acting like she's still in it. how do i get her to stop so i can visit friends more? (and im not trying mom lay off, she'll think im doing somethin bad and ask more ?'s)
2007-08-09 03:42:25 · 6 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As a mom myself, I do want to know who my children hang out with, and what they are doing while hanging out. To know some things about who is going out with who is ok, but I do not need to know everything about all my kids friends social lives. At 13, you should be able to socialize with your friends at appropriate places without your mom knowing everything that you talk about. It sounds like your mom wants to be a part of everything, which is almost like she is reliving her youth through you. Can you explain to her that you like doing some things with her and your friends, but you also like to spend time alone with them. Tell her that you do not say or do anything inappropriate when you are by yourselves, you just want a little bit of privacy. Tell her that she has raised you to know right from wrong and that you are old enough now to start doing some things without needing mom right beside you. Ask her if you continue to prove that you are trustworthy, could she please let you have a little more freedom to spend time alone with your friends.
2007-08-09 03:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by TC 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your mom needs a hobby other than you. Here's what you are up against. She has raised you and been involved in every aspect of your life, and if you remember right, there was a time when you openingly enjoyed telling mom everything that was going in your life. Then you grew up alittle, now you are a teenager. What a teenager is supposed to do is slowly seperate from the parent, but now think about this, how does she learn that you are someone different now than you were just a few years ago? Believe me, what happens when you have kids is that one day you are changing diapers, and then boom, the next day they are taller than you are. There are no books, there isn't a manual and most parents don't talk about this, but it really takes most parents by surprise and they don't know how to cope.
What you can do is be kinder to your mom while trying to seperate from her desperate desire to keep you as a small child. Let her see you as more responsible, such as doing things around the house without asking and without expecting anything for it. Start doing things like your own laundry or start learning to cook. In fact that is one way to really accomplish this. You can say to her, without drama, mom I really need to make some of my own choices about my friends and what we do, but I really would learn how to cook. I'm going to need to fend for myself when I leave home or leave for college, and you are such a great cook, could you teach me? It allows her to participate, you get to show her how grown up you are becoming, and you learn something useful. Win, win.
Also, once in a while allow her to take you and your friends to someplace. If not the kiddie waterpark, suggest something you want. Get all the details and present her with a plan.
Essentially it works this way. You show that you are growning up and becoming more mature by doing mature things without complaint, and she slowly gets the picture. However, if you have childish behavior and don't hold up your end of the bargain, then how is she supposed to trust you to have good sense about things. Don't whine and complain, she's on your side. Good luck to both of you.
2007-08-09 04:05:20 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well some of this might get better when school begins. But for now can you practice something to say to her like' Mom I think it would be good if I could have my space regarding friends. I know you are trying to protect me but you have taught me well and you are the best mom and so I want you to know that I will not do anything bad. I just need some privacy to feel like I am grown up . How can we make that happen?" ( before or after you give her a big hug!)
2007-08-09 03:58:41 · answer #3 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mom needs to get some friends and a life of her own. Sweetie, your mom has done something that most moms do.....she's made YOU her life and in the process, she's forgotten that she needs her own life, hobbies, and friends. Try to encourage her in that way. Sit down and talk to her but be very kind and loving when you do it. Say "Mom, you know how much I love you. I see how much you've sacrificed.....it concerns me that instead of going out with friends of your own, you seem more interested in what me and my friends are doing. I don't think it's right and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I would do things with my friends more often if you didn't do this."
2007-08-09 03:55:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your Mom sounds lonely. Go and have fun with your friends. Suggest to your Mom that she give an old friend of hers a call to see if they can hang out and get reacquainted.
2007-08-09 03:49:40 · answer #5 · answered by comeundone4162 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you ever concept approximately something different than your self? Your question illustrates an inclination to settle for stereotypical recommendations with none in-intensity verification. believe me.... at some point you will the two be a great deal surprised at what you have ignored or you will purely replace into extra bitter over the years.
2016-10-09 16:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋