There has been a lot of stress in my husbands family. As a result his parents are going through a very rough patch. Everytime something happens we are called upon to save the day. I am so tired of our time being spent solving other peoples problems. I do feel l like you have to support your family to a point but I also feel like we are simply being used as a crutch. My frustration is building and I don't feel like we should have to be the firefighters all of the time. We do have our own lives/marriage to worry about as well. I am tired of running and jumping everytime we get a phone call. Any advice?
2007-08-09 03:09:33 · 4 answers · asked by justtoomuch 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is between you and your husband. Have a calm discussion with him about the fact that you are concerned about your own marriage being affected by this. Add that you feel that this is their personal problem and you most likely wont be able to help and you would like his focus to be on your own little family. See how he takes this ( or maybe you already know) If he doesnt want to join you then you at least can tune out their calls and be unavailable. Hopefully he too will get the message. Life is too short to be manipulated by others
2007-08-09 03:49:44 · answer #1 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start investing in your own marriage first. In-laws and their problems can cause a lot of stress. I've been married for 5 years and have been trying to pull away from the drama my in-laws create. It's not your job to save their marriage. There were probably problems before you entered the picture. Try to get your husband to pull away a little. It's not fair to you guys.
2007-08-09 11:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by DAR76 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is DH tired of doing this too? If you two aren't on the same page here your unwillingness to continue helping could put a dent in your marriage. So before you decide to do anything you need to sit down and talk with him about this. The two of you need to come up with some guidelines that help both of you know how to deal with his parent's cries for help.
2007-08-09 10:37:19 · answer #3 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, my advice is to start setting some boundaries in your life.
you can't save anyone else's marriage... it's up to your in laws to take care of their issues.
it's very WEIRD that parents would ask their kids' advice on marriage.. perhaps the could confide in a counselor or their minister..
you shouldn't be involved at all.
take care.
2007-08-09 10:17:58 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋