Is it immoral to have your own children...?

Question

...when there are so many children that need to be adopted? I mean kids are starving out there, and dying because no one will adopt them. Yet I see a lot of people (especially the religious, that's why I'm asking on this forum) that want to have their own kids instead. There's the whole "passing on the bloodline" thing, and I don't get it. What's the difference with having your own kid?

Personally, I'm adopting. What do you guys think-- is it immoral to purposely get pregnant and have your own child when there are others already on this planet that need homes and love? I won't bash people that have their own kids already, but is there any real reasoning for it?

And please don't try to sell me that myth that you can't love an adopted kid as much because you didn't carry him or her 9 months-- fathers never carry the kid and they love their kid just as much. Similarly, I know that it can be expensive to adopt-- but shouldn't you already have that money if you're planning on a kid?

Yeah, I forgot about the fertility thing. I too think it's nuts to spend thousands of dollars on your own sperm and egg when you could change a life that's already here.

I never had a big family, so I'll probably adopt no more than two kids. It'll be many, many years in the future-- 21 is way young to have a kid!

Answer 1

I believe that it is not immoral,

Morality involves what is right and wrong. There is nothing wrong with having your own child.

Yes adopting may be good but it doesn't follow that having a child is bad. It also doesn't follow that if you have your own child, you become incapable of helping other people. Maybe the right thing to do is to tackle the root of this problem. "Some" reasons why kids are abandoned by their parents are poverty and irresponsibility of parents. I believe that if those problems are tackled in the right way, the number of abandoned children may decrease.

I admire your decision of adopting kids instead of having your own. That is a big sacrifice. I also thought of that before and I am just 16 yrs. old and since I'm a male. I know it's rare for a man not wanting to have his own child. (Maybe because males crave sex more than females).

We have the right to decide for ourselves but I think that other people also have the right to choose for their own.

( By the way, nice question:) )

Answer 2

I commend your decision. I personally feel there is only one legitimate reason why anybody should have a child period..... because that person genuinely and truly desires to take on the responsibility, the commitment, the dedication and the financial burdon of having and raising a new human being, and moulding that young mind to some day become a worthwhile, good, decent, contributing member of adult society. Regretfully far too many people manufacture a new human being just because they can.... and in some cases because they are stupid enough to think that it is somehow "cool" to have a cute baby. They get themselves one the same way some people go out and buy a cute puppy, and then as it grows and they discover the whole thing is way more work than they imagined, it's not "fun" any more and the poor creature gets neglected or abandoned. Same thing happens to human victims of this kind of person.

I know that some people are fearful that there may be some genetic problem in a child they didn't breed themselves, that'll come out later when it's too late to send the kid back. But there really is no evidence that adopted children are more likely to have gene related problems than those raised by their own birth parents.

Anyway, once again, congratulations on your wonderful decision. Frankly, I think sooner or later the world will HAVE to make laws that prevent people from having children like rabbits. Humans have already overdone it, and have totally upset the ecological balance by their out of control breeding

Answer 3

Can a child be a wrong. I am an atheist, but see each as a gift.

I can't help but think that this is a personal decision, and not one that it is my place to judge others on. How many have you adopted so far?

As more westerner adopt, considering that the often impoverished mothers are offered a "compensation", do you think more children will be born as a source of income? Will this improve things?

Answer 4

I agree. I want a big family and I would like to have one or two of my own and adopt the rest. And I do plan on telling all of the kids where they come from, but I don't plan on it making a difference. A child should be loved, no matter where they come from.

Answer 5

I'm with you about fatherly love, but I think motherly love is something else - there's something about a kid who came out of your own entrails. I hear it from my wife all the time.

But when fertility difficulties arise, I'm 100% with you. Adoption should be given more consideration, rather than dishing out money at in vitro stuff and obsessing over a sperm and an egg.

Answer 6

I don't think it's immoral. It's a natural thing to want to procreate. I personally would like to have my own kid. I wouldn't be totally against the idea of adopting though

Answer 7

no, I don't think it's immoral to have your own children. there's nothing wrong with that. however, it would be considered a charity to adopt, so...

not deciding for you, but just saying that blood doesn't really matter, you'll love your kid just as much

Answer 8

you can adopt a child, when you want a child no problem

but he or she will behave like his or her parents...gens
but your child.............will show all your actions

you need to experience it...
if you have just money and want children
the best way is to adopt ....

Answer 9

I would love to adopt but why do they make it so damn difficult and expensive

Answer 10

I think people should decide what they want to do, As honorable as your intentions are, not every one feels the way you do.