should i ever meet my birth father?

Question

my birth father beat my brth mother to try and kill me, he told her if she dident put me up for adoption that someone was gona find her head in one place and her body in a nother. When my parents try and email questions to him about my famil history he doesnt reply to them and if i make a new email and say hi to him on it he says hi back. Should i ever meet him or leave him alone?

i alredy know my birth mother alot

u guys, I KNOW MY BIRTH MOTHER i vist her 2tice a year

nope, my birtmother wasent yong when she got pregnate with me, my borthfather just di want me

****dident

Answer 1

he sounds like a horrible person but you are his child ...im sure he would like to be friends with you but cant reach out to you...put yourself in his position. i couldnt talk to them first /them knowing im such a crappy person.i think you should try to be friends with him but hes not your father you have parents that love you....if anything i think you should talk to him because right now you have an option ..once he dies you have no option and thats somthing youl always have to live with...i think it would realy bother me if i never met one of my parents..im sorry

Answer 2

You figure it out,look what you wrote.
The guy is an a s s for beating your mom,he should have been put in prison and become someones little bytch.
I would not give that man the time of day,he has a violent temper and sounds like a jerk.
Anyone can make a baby ,even an azz hole but it takes a special person to be a dad and it sounds like he could never fit that part.
You would get more love and attention from a gold fish than you would from him.

Answer 3

Coming from a home where my birth parents raised us through mental, emotional and sexual abuse, I know that "parents" is not at all a biological title, but an emotional one.

If the parents who adopted you have raised you with so much love, why is there a need to connect with your birth father? He could cause you more psychological damage than provide love.

I know you might be curious about him, but sometimes curiosity is best left unanswered. Sometimes the best thing to do is be simply grateful for what you do have. I sometimes wish I was adopted and didn't know that my parents were cruel perverts so that I would've grown up much more "normal". But now I focus on the love I receive from friends and they have become my family despite the absence of blood relations.

Answer 4

If you do meet him be prepared for potential pain and heartache. It sounds like he's not in a place where he can handle being a parent...even an uninvolved one...with grace and maturity.

If I were you, I'd consider going to a counselor & using the counselor for a sounding board and emotional support. If you choose to meet him, make an appointment within a day or two afterward with your counselor so you can talk about what happened & how you feel about it.

I'm sorry that he dealt with your mom being pregnant so poorly. I'm sure that it's a painful thing for you.

Answer 5

Yes, I believe it would be a good thing, for you to meet
and visit with your birth father, because ''he is your blood
father".
Sometimes couple don't get along, but you might be
surprised at how your ''birth" father could get along with
you.
Maybe he had a fear or a problem at the time, and it
was such a ''pressure on him" that he was unable to
handle the circumstances at the time. I have seen this
in several other families.
Perhaps he will share some family history information
with you, once he ''sees you" and knows you are "for real".
And perhaps his education isn't so that he can ''relate to
others" very well.
The situation with him, is for you to try and understand, and
not be ''judgemental'' because he probably won't treat you
the same as he did your mother...
Take the relationship on a slow basis, and perhaps it might
be one that might be a lasting one.

Answer 6

sounds like to me you would be better off not knowing him as he doesn't sound like a very nice person. Sounds like he might like to meet you and may be play some mind games with you. I can understand you wanting to meet him and wanting to ask him some questions about why he treated your birth mother the way he did and won't answer your parents questions. Be prepared for not getting any straight answers from him. If you do decide to meet him, don't go alone and don't let him know where you live

Answer 7

I don't think I'd want to meet a man who didn't want me and beat my mother. I am adopted and know my birth Mother, she is a great person and I'm greatful she did ( could have not had a better life ) but I wish I would have just let it alone.

Answer 8

I don't know how old you are, but if he did this to a grown woman and killed her, I doubt that you would feel safe being around him alone. I feel so bad for you, that your father would try and do that. Did you not say he was trying to kill you? Why would you want to go see a person like that alone? This isn't a "Why would ya do that?" kind of question it's a question like "What makes you want to see him?" Ask yourself,"Do I want to see him?" or do you just want to know if you should? Because if you ask me, I would never feel truly safe with a man that tried to kill me years before. Even if he has changed his personality, I'm not sure he changed his mind...

Answer 9

Oh My, Honey, I'm really sorry!
Maybe you could try meet your mother first.
Get to know your birth father first well through the email.
When you do meet him, make sure it is at a public place with lots of people in daylight. Bring along your adopted father and/or mother, or a strong male to come along with you, incase your birth father decides to do something to you.

Good Luck Hun!

x

Answer 10

My mom went through the same crap when she was pregnant with me.He also made her have sex with 3 of his friends at gunpoint.She kept me and has loved me.Never has shown any kind of regret & i am now 34 yrs old & have my own family.I hold alot of hate for that man,even though I should not hold a grudge.I have never met him,& plan to keep it that way because if he wanted to meet me,he would have already tried.I think the best thing to do is go on with the life that you are blessed with now.If he wants to meet you he will try on his own.

Answer 11

the first instict is to say no,but as an adopted person myself i know what it is like to need to see where you come from. it may be of big help for you just to meet your father once ,but it sounds lke he does not want to anyway.or perhaps he does but feels too guilty?.i would suggest you enlist the help if social services to assist you in this.,. ask a Social Worker or adoption counsellor to make contact with him via letter,and if he does agree to meet,then i would suggest it is in a public place,and do not tell him your address or anything,if you have not already.i feel that once you have met him,you can move on with your life.whether you continue to meet or not,at least you have seen him,and can lay things to rest.i met my birth parents 8 years ago. my father is a nice enough guy,but he does not keep in touch,and does not thank me for cards,gifts,etc. i am sad,but still glad i have met him.,but i appreciate i have a great dad anyway who raised me.but i understand your need to meet him!.