I just had a conversation with my boyfriend we are not young or new to this in our 30's but this is a new one. He said when we talk I coddle him and treat him like (I am trying to comfort him when that just makes him not want to talk to me. For instance he says when he tells me about his day or when his flight was delayed or he did not sleep I tell him I am sorry hope his day gets better or hope tomorrow is easier and this is treating him like a child that he was just telling me about his day end of conversation. So what does he want me to say to him I care so I am concerned I have never been told this before what are your thoughts guys. If all he his telling me is about is day then how should I respond or just listen. What do you guys want?
2007-08-08 18:38:27 · 7 answers · asked by missinmysailor 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds to me as though he is stressed. However, this may also be a means of attempting to sever emotional ties.
Most likely (in my opinion, of course,) he just wants to talk, to relieve his stress by complaining about everything to you. He doesn't want your commisserations. He just wants you to listen, because often just talking about things that are bothering you will help you feel better. Next time, I would suggest not responding at all, and seeing how that goes. Certainly acknowledge that you are listening, but let him talk himself out before you respond in full.
Of course, the most obvious question I have for you is, why are you asking us? Shouldn't you be asking him?
2007-08-08 18:46:50 · answer #1 · answered by Terras 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be more engaging as he gives you his day. Rather than just say, "Hope you feel better!", ask him questions about what he is telling you. If you just say comforting remarks, it seems like you weren't interested in what he has to say. Those type of remarks is what a mother would say to her son, not what spouses should be saying to each other.
2007-08-09 01:45:22 · answer #2 · answered by Gorme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him "that sucks" and move on. I guess he just wants to say it and be done with it. You may be too sweet for him, he will want you back to your old self in no time. He kind of sounds imature, so you need to be on his level and direct the conversation to sex, that will keep him happy. Sorry but it is the truth.
2007-08-09 01:44:03 · answer #3 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kinda in the same boat but a lot different
when he says those kinda things kinda take social cues like if he wants you to say something like that and don't say it in a baby voice. . .
umm yeah just read the conversation
if it seems like he wants space let him have it
2007-08-09 01:46:45 · answer #4 · answered by saralove31888 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't like for you to make comforting remarks, perhaps you could just say something like, "I'm sorry you had a crummy day. Here's what I did today....." or maybe, "Oh, that doesn't sound like fun."
2007-08-09 01:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by treebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him. If he can't tell you exactly what he wants, then he may not know what to expect from the relationship. Then it will be up to you to decide what's gonna happen to your relationship with him.
2007-08-09 01:44:38 · answer #6 · answered by TelecomsTowerGod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him space
2007-08-09 01:41:56 · answer #7 · answered by Yuki Ookami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋