Would you punish your child's friend?

Question

If for example your child and his/hers friend are with you on a campingtrip, or even on a day out at the beach or at the the Mall, and they get into trouble. You decide to punish youc child for what he/she has done, would you also punish his/hers friend the same way? Would you contact the friends parents first, or would you just tell them when you returned? I was once spanked by my best friends dad when me and my friend were with them for a weekend at there log-cabin in the mountains, and it was the most humiliating thing I ever experienced as a child(as I can remember anyway)

Answer 1

with the kids that come over to my house I make sure to set the rules right off the bat. Usually if the child is misbehaving my child is also involved. Get to know the child before you take them to a camping trip or some place that you cannot get the child off your hands. If both of the children are doing something that is not safe then they should BOTH go to time out. There is no reason why your child should be punished and the other gets to do what ever. They both did the crime so they both do the time. You already know that spanking is not an option. Talk to the parent and let them know what you plan to do if they don't like that then they can just come and pick up their little one. The rules should be the same for everyone.

Answer 2

I would not allow another parent to spank or hit my child. I would prefer the other parent to contact me and tell me what has happened so I can then be the one to decide the punishment. If, I was told that my child had been hit by another person I would report the other person to the police for actual bodily harm. In my younger days I would of gone round there and punched the other person but violence gets you nowhere and I wouldn't want to give out the wrong message to my child.

Answer 3

I don't automatically tke 'punishment' as spanking. I recently had my neighbour come to the door to say my 10yr old son, 9yr old nephew and their 9yr old friend were being cheeky to her. So yes i did 'punish' all 3. I was stern with them i made all 3 apoplogise and i sent my son and nephew upstairs and told the friend i was taking him home and all were told they were not welcome back to play unless they could behave.
Yesterday my 4yr old son had his friend for the day and at times they would hit each other and again if i was telling my son not to hit then i would tell my friends son the same.
I do not believe in hitting children it is humiliating degrading and serves no purpose, explain to a child what they have done is wrong or not nice etc and time out, remove a toy etc but what does a slap achieve do they actually know what it was for.
But yes I would 'punish' another child appropriately if they are in my care.

Answer 4

You should never punish someone else's child physically, but apart from that, you've got to treat them the same. No reasonable person could object to you doing this, if the punishment was simply grounding, early to bed or withdrawal of some priviledge. It depends on the age of the child - older children would probably rather suffer any punishment than the indignity of you calling their parents.

Answer 5

Punish by spanking, no. If you were still in the town where you live, take the other child home. If you were at the beach or on a camping trip it would be ok to take away a privelage for the other child, such as not letting them go shopping, or on a hike they were planning on taking, etc. I would be red hot mad if I found out another adult spanked my child.

Answer 6

Well, I personally would punish my child and that child the same way, but in a manner that was like you know suitable for both. Like say, you don't do that and stick them in a simple time out for a little while. If they were just playing with my child though, not on a trip where I was responsible for that other child for a longer period than normal, I'd just send the other child home and if it was something severely wrong that they did like not just breaking something or horsing around like hurting someone else badly or something, i'd contact the parents.

But yeah, that would be very humiliating for me as well if that had happened to me. No one should lay a hand on another persons child, just sticking them in time out for a while is alot different lol.

Answer 7

I'd not discipline someone else's child in that way as it's not my responsibility to.
That said, if I took my childs friend with us on holiday or something and he/she played up the whole time and made my life a misery, I'd certainly call his.her parents and ask them what they would have me do. Or just return them home if I could.

If the child was being that badly behaved, you simply remove the child from the family trip away.

Answer 8

Depends what you mean when you say "punish"
I'd never hit another persons child & I'm telling you, I'd go ape$hit if someone were to hit mine.
I wouldn't even hit someone elses child even if they gave me permission.
I'd be horrified if someone else gave me permission to hit their child......I'd lose instant respect for that parent.
I always taught my kids they were to accept verbal disipline from others as long as they weren't sworn at.....how else would they learn to respect others opinions.

What I'd do (& have done) is stop my child & their friend from some priviledge....like not being allowed to watch T.V past a certain time of night or withhold sweets or another treat....just for the afternoon, or whatever time frame was appropriate.
I'd explain my actions to the both of them, then after alls done.....no more would be said. I certainly wouldn't report them to their parents, to get them in more trouble.....not after it's been dealt with, but I would let their parents know what had happened & what I'd done as a fit act of disipline & ask that it should be dropped there.

I would never lay my hand on another persons child.....NEVER!
I'd fall out big time with anyone that ever took their hand to my child......people are too quick to slap kids.......disipline should NEVER be administered in anger anyway.

Answer 9

I feel that if a parent trusts me enough to leave their child in my care, then they must trust me enough to correct them if they aren't behaving appropriately. That being said, I would never spank or yell at someone else's child. For something minor, like for example if the kids were arguing, I might give them each a time out in separate rooms, but for anything major, I would call their parents to come and retrieve them.

Answer 10

If the child's parents are not there and the child is left in your care, it is your responsibility to correct the child's misbehavior.

Before you ever take someone's child for a trip, you should communicate with them to find out what sort of punishment would work best and in which situations it is appropriate.