I wanna know what you would do girls...?

Question

I know I've sort of gone over this before but I want to know what you would do in my situation if it was your guy.

My boyfriend likes hanging out with a certain group of friends alot. Sometimes he even cuts our time short to go and see them. For me it just bugs the hell out of me. I mean normally it would be kind of ok because friendships are good to have. The problem is that one of those friends is in love with my boyfriend and he knows it. He knows it bugs me but is still friends with her. And they are always talking to each other and making plans to do stuff. Like he didn't even tell me but I found out that he is going to spend a whole day with her to celebrate her birthday and to celebrate his her family is going to take him out to dinner and stuff. So I basically don't even really get to see him on his birthday. I think part of it is because I am always here so he thinks he can just hang out with me whenever or something. I dunno really. But what would you do if you were me?

and I don't hang out with him and his friends because this group of friends and I basically can't stand each other. we have history and have tried to hang out with each other but it just didn't work out. I saw first hand how he flirted with her and I can tell that he is kinda leading her on, but when I told him that on the ride home he didn't even freaking know he was doing it. *sighs*

and we don't have sex I am still a virgin and he respects that. so take off the pressure we do other stuff to keep satisfied. and he also gave me a promise ring on our year anniversary

Answer 1

oh gosh!!!!! no no no, that is so not acceptable... can't he take you with him?? why doesn't he?? he should include you in his activities, especially if it's not all guys "night out" but if there are girls, u should go! u r his gf!!

and is his b-day y not spend it with you?? not with that girl..... tell him!! or break up with him, u don't need this..... i know it'll be hard to break up with him but u dont deserve this

if this was my bf i would talk to him strictly and tell him what i dont like, if he doesn't change and it keeps bothering then "it's over!"

seriously what's wrong with ur boy... he knows she loves him... she must be enjoying this sooo much!

ur bf sux!!

Answer 2

I wonder how old you are coz you seem so young to already be setting yrself up like this. How is yr self esteem? Not sharing his birthday is a total deal breaker. I wonder if when he "cuts out early" it is pretty much after his sexual needs have been met. You actually don't need any advice. You already know how nowhere this is headed. How much suffering do you want to go through? My intuition is telling me to encourage you to seek help. Counseling is available if yr in school. Just present this same question. All the questions will be about you, not him. You are way too important to be treated this way. Sounds like yr settling because alone is too hard. Make the changes for yrself now. Don't create a pattern that lasts the rest of yr life-the realization that settling is the too hard thing will eventually hit you. Good Luck with this one, girl.

Answer 3

Why doesn't he invite you to hang out with the group? If you are truly his girlfriend, there should be no reason to leave you at home. At least not every time. If you ask to go with and he says no, I would be suspicious. I learned the hard way that when my ex didn't want me around, it was cuz he was creeping (cheating). He should care about your feelings, and if he knows it bothers you that he hangs out with her, then he needs to take that into consideration. I'm not saying he should drop her as a friend just cuz you say so, but he should do what he can to make you feel more comfortable. That's what love is all about.

Answer 4

I am not a grl but prefered to answer....its a problem with all of us and at all level.

You should focus on ur relationship.......and give space to him to think.....I think he isnt a bad guy or else he shd hang out with grls whom u dont know.....he only doesnt want to hurt the other grl on her b'day. He may like her....but if u r the grlfrnd then u hold a better position.....So dont leave ur couch just because u dont want others to have a chair....

Answer 5

He isn't cheating.......yet. You see, he thinks that he can control his urges to not like her, but he doesn't realize how tempting and persuasive desperate girls like her can be. If he is spending his birthday with her that's a big red flag that somthing's about to go wrong. I would tell him that I don't want him hanging out with her as much. It makes me uncomfortable how she constantly flirts with him. However he's probably going to attack you and say, "Why don't you trust me?" To which you should respond, "I trust you, but not her." Hopfully that will help. :)

Answer 6

Damn! well i wouldnt be wastin my time with someone who doesnt want to spend time with me or see it worth his while ? but on the other hand u just might be too available for him if he knows ur not doin anything and youll free up time for him hes gonna keep on doin the same thing cause he doesnt have to sacrafice his time, its his own. u on the otherhand have to find something productive to do in order for him to understand that he has to make u his priority as u do him. go out with ur friends so when he sees ur the one busy and ur out and about and hes doin nothing he'll have to make time to be with u and understand how u felt ? good luck

Answer 7

from a guy's point of view: basically, most guys are complete hypocrites. i'm sure he wouldn't be happy if you did the same with a "guyfriend". so, i think you should sit him down and be straight up with him. tell him how you feel and that it bothers you. based on his reaction, you'd be able to tell how he really feels. also, when you talk to him, be calm and casual because most guys don't like being blamed or accused and they certainly hate being wrong.
hope everything works out.

Answer 8

No... I don't think that I would be grooving on that.... If you are his special girl than he should not be spending a day with some other girl, not even her birthday, nor should he be hiding things from you. You need to find someone else.. I would dump his lame ars...

Answer 9

If I were you I'd distance myself a little and trust him not to do anything with that other girl.
Also make plans with a group of friends of your own and hang out with them, it will take your mind off of him.
But, mainly trust him. If you can't trust him, maybe your asking the wrong q's?

Answer 10

I would dump him. He doesn't seem to be making you number one when he should be. You are suppose to be his girlfriend and not her, so why would he spend his birthday with her. I also think he's not respecting you - Life's to short for unsatisfactory relationships.